Echoes
by BatmanLoonaticsFan96
Summary: When Commander Echo Shepard is recovered from the aftermath of the Crucible explosion, she loses all memory of her former crewmates. Three years later, she comes to Palaven and crosses paths with Garrus Vakarian, who has been keeping his distance in the hopes she'll find a life without him. Will she find her happy ending? Or will he stir up memories that would be better off lost?
1. Aftermath

Echoes

Happy Valentine's Day, everybody! I hope you're ready for a new story with lots of Shakarian romance. For those of you who are wondering, I got the idea from the epilogue of a certain YA novel which I can't name because I would spoil it considerably (I'm pretty sure those of you who have read it will be able to tell which one in a few chapters) and it just took on a life of its own. Let me know what you think and I'll try to update as regularly as I can. Enjoy!

Theme song: obviously "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls

Chapter 1: Aftermath

The war was over. That was all most of the galaxy could say these days, still in the process of rejoicing the moment that their would-be conquerors had fallen as one. They had taken enormous losses, every world the monsters had set down on was all but demolished, and the shockwave that removed the threat had brought collateral damage on an untold scale. But they were alive. A century of death and destruction no longer lay before them all, and that was enough to celebrate, even for those who grieved.

The COMM buoys that were still intact were threatening to overload as the armies reestablished contact with whomever they could reach, spreading the word that this was indeed victory. However, they also brought some bad news, considering that the mass relays they relied on for travel through the galaxy were severely damaged. Thankfully, they were not entirely broken and could be restored with some effort, but the process would take a couple months, during which time the people deployed to the final battle would not be able to return home.

The fleets instead turned their focus to aiding the restoration of the system they were temporarily stranded in, starting with the burned-down medical facilities in London. The final battle that had taken place in the city had brought on far more casualties than injuries, but the soldiers and paramedics spread out there were still riding the wave of hope left by the Reaper's destruction and did whatever they could to help those who still had a chance. And to ensure that those who did not have a chance spent their last days knowing that their sacrifice had ensured they won.

Once the hospitals were more or less functioning again, some of the troops attempted to dock with the Citadel. The Citadel had established a sort of orbit around Earth's atmosphere, opposite Luna, but they were convinced it wouldn't be that difficult to return it to its position in the Serpent Nebula once the relays were safely restored. They were more concerned with the fact that the station didn't seem to be in one piece. It was still more or less intact, all five Wards still locked in place around the Presidium ring, but the shockwave the Crucible had sent surging through it had obliterated many of the structures and cut power to most all of the station's systems. Those who set to work on repairs took this as good news—the station had been almost completely evacuated when the Reapers came for it, so the only denizens of the station that they might find harmed would be keepers, and no power meant that there would be no security protocols restricting access to what they could and couldn't repair before the time came to attempt a full restoration. However, that was before they first stumbled into a corridor in which keepers were dragging human corpses sent up from London by Reaper foot soldiers. Suffice to say, repairs went much slower on the station than they did in the cities below.

While all the other races were occupied with getting a head start on restorations during the time that reunions would be postponed, though, the quarians were facing a crisis of their own. All of the geth had mysteriously shut down, seemingly in response to the same shockwave that had shut down the Reapers. After all the aid they had received from the geth in the past month, they had been coming to rely on the synthetics and see them as allies, allies that had been hard won and needed. They were trying to see if the geth could be restored, but nothing was working. Eventually, they were afraid, they would have to attempt completely rebuilding the geth and hope that they could salvage the Legion code (as it had come to be known) from the Reaper corpse still intact on Rannoch without threatening to infect the geth with the very programming that had once turned them against their creators. Otherwise, the geth would be gone forever and the quarians would have to re-colonize their home-world alone, reacclimatize to their home environment without any aid to their immunities, and possibly risk their newly recovered standing in the galactic community by creating an entirely new race of synthetics bearing in mind the mistakes they made previously. Admiral Xen was currently hopeful that the geth could still be returned to full functionality if she was given the proper tools and enough time. For once, the other admirals were hoping she was right.

But while the quarians were attempting to prevent their own loss and the rest of the galaxy was in some way celebrating the recent victory, there was one ship that was not celebrating. After a less-than-successful FTL jump away from the epicenter of the Crucible's blast, the _Normandy SR-2_ had been thrown off-course before even reaching sight of the Charon relay and had crash-landed on an unmapped garden world in a nearby system. Damage to the ship was mostly minor and had almost been completely repaired, but it was not the damage to the ship that had delayed their return to the fleets regrouping at Earth. No, it was the damage to the crew that was why, while the rest of the galaxy celebrated, this one ship mourned.

One of their losses had sent them into the same worried scramble as the quarians. The ship's AI, EDI, had suddenly shut down when the shockwave reached them. Even her recently-acquired android body had ceased functioning during the crash, something that had made their pilot panic. The techs on the ship were still inspecting the AI core for some sign of functionality, some code that would allow them to restore her. They remained hopeful, even had reason to believe EDI had somehow backed up her systems to prevent deletion, but there was no sign that their AI friend would be the same as she was even if they could find a way to restore her.

The other loss that had occurred was what crippled the crewmen with sorrow. While they could hope for synthetics to be restored if enough code was salvaged, organics that were gone would be gone forever. So when they reestablished contact with Earth just long enough to hear that Commander Echo Shepard, the one who had forced them to evacuate and then activated the Crucible in the first place, was MIA during a time when MIA was as good as dead, the crewmen who had served under her had been paralyzed by grief. Nearly a week went by where it seemed the entire ship was silent—something that made it all the worse for them since _her_ ship was never silent—before they finally resorted to holding a sort of memorial for her to prompt them all to move on and focus on repairs so they could leave this uncharted planet. It was only when her name was inches from the memorial wall, when the one meant to place it there hesitated, that their reasons completely switched: "This is _Shepard_ we're talking about. She's come back before. We can't give up yet."

So they had hurried the repairs and rushed to make an FTL jump back to Earth. News was still poor with no sign of the commander, but her crewmen took this as good news—MIA was only KIA if there was a body.

_She's only dead if we find a body._

Her squad first took this as a challenge, joining the salvage crews attempting to restore the Citadel so that they could search for some sign of Shepard. Some of them had shrunk back when they attempted to search the corridors upon corridors of human corpses. Some of them threatened to withdraw simply from weariness as it sunk in that the station was massive, these recently opened chambers were never fully mapped to begin with, and they had no clue where Shepard had even first arrived, no clue where their search should _start_. But some of them resolved to turn the entire station upside-down if it meant they could find even the smallest sign of her presence.

Garrus Vakarian was one of them.

The turian never once slowed down, seemingly ready to tear apart anyone who suggested he should. The sheer scope of the search and the toll it was already taking on him didn't even deter him. It was only because Tali'Zorah vas Normandy was right behind him that he didn't search until his lungs gave out. He was too focused on saving the one who'd once saved him to worry about what happened to him while he tried. His searches eventually grew more desperate and lost all form of a pattern, Tali's meticulous records on what maps they did have the only thing keeping him from wasting time and effort backtracking every time he turned a corner. _He _was growing desperate, and Tali's assurances that if anyone could've survived, it was her, and if anyone could find her, it was him, were the only things keeping him sane.

It was a testament to the commander's memory (as well as proof that what Tali told Garrus was more than simple encouragement) that none of the others even thought to suggest Garrus should give up. Hours turned to days and still none of them attempted to tell him that he would've found her by now, that she would be dead anyway by the time he had searched the entire station, that she wouldn't want him to do this to himself. No, they all stood back and let him search, convincing themselves there was still a chance. Whether or not they truly believed that or simply wanted to, however, is another matter entirely.

It was on the fourth day of the search that things changed.

Garrus stepped out of a room, so tense with rage and concern that he would have slammed the door shut behind him had it not been an automatic one. "Nothing."

Tali sighed, giving him a small touch of encouragement. "We'll find her. We just haven't looked in the right place yet."

He scoffed. "What was it Joker said? 'Always in the last place you look'?"

"And then _she'd_ say 'Well, obviously, why would you keep looking after you've found it?'"

Garrus smirked to himself. One reason he was glad Tali had stuck with him through this was so she could keep his spirits up when concern threatened to turn to fear. Though he couldn't deny that it was clearly weighing on her as well, she had put her own worries aside for his sake. And for Shepard's. Her two closest friends in the galaxy. _Another reason to find her _now_. _"OK. Next room."

Tali nodded and turned to check her omni-tool. But before she could open the map that was currently being used to log their progress, she noticed something. "That's odd…"

"What?" Garrus asked, his detective side pushing curiosity temporarily to the front of his mind.

"I'm picking up some sort of reading." Setting the map aside for a moment, she turned to examine the strange reading. What she found nearly made her burst with a hope she hadn't dared to feel since her place in the search had become ensuring Garrus didn't kill himself trying to complete it. "Garrus…look at this."

Garrus knew by now what it meant when her voice took on that particular tone. Quickly, he stepped closer and checked what was pinging off her omni-tool. When he saw what it was, he nearly stopped breathing. "…is that…?"

"Two active Alliance COMMs! On the other side of this wall!"

Garrus immediately dove for the wall as if his touch would magically open it. Even as he frantically searched for a door, he turned back to Tali. "How come none of the scans picked this up?!"

"They weren't sending any signals _to_ pick up," Tali reasoned as she turned from her own scan back to the map, "but now that they're in range…" She took a moment to check the map before giving off a growl of frustration. "The map isn't even showing a room on the other side of this wall. How are we supposed to get in?"

Garrus couldn't help but smirk at the answer that came to him: "Well, now we know where we're headed…there's always the direct approach."

So they marked their position on the map and raced back to the _Normandy_. Neither of them stopped for a second to let the fear sink in that "no signal" might mean anything other than "unconscious." Instead, they did what Shepard would likely have done and recovered some unused detonators to remove the wall entirely. By the next hour, the entirety of Shepard's former squad had heard what they'd found and was gathered on the other end of the hall to watch the satisfying explosion that busted through to the other side.

Garrus, naturally, was the first one through the resulting hole. There was a drop on the other side, but the expansive room that had once occupied this space was so trashed by the Crucible's detonation that there was more than enough rubble to break any falls. Garrus took this as a good sign—the place most damaged by the Crucible had to be the source of the blast, which was exactly where Shepard would be. "Tali, do you still have a lock on the COMMs?"

"Yes," Tali said as she dropped in and reopened her omni-tool, "but there's some kind of interference. I can't pinpoint exactly where they are, I just know there's two of them."

Garrus was only concerned with one, but he'd take what he could get. "Right. Start searching, then."

"Way ahead of you, Vakarian," Ashley Williams assured him as she started turning over debris.

So they all spread out and started looking for some sign of their lost commander. The room was easily one of the largest in the entire Citadel, even rivaling the Council chambers, but with so many of them searching, it still shouldn't take too long. All this time, they'd been driven by having something to fight for, and the life of the one who'd given them that should be more than enough incentive to do so now.

Garrus started at the backmost corner of the room, leaving no stone unturned as he worked his way towards the center that would converge all of their search routes. With every second, the same thought rushed through his head—_She's here, she's in here, she _has to _be…_ But he couldn't deny that, with each second passed, another thought was creeping in—_What if she's not? What if we find her and she's gone?_ He had spent so long chasing away that thought that, presented with the moment he would find out, he didn't know what he would do if it was true. He didn't know how to fight the fear clawing into him that this might be the day he truly lost the one he—

"Oh, no…"

The second he heard James Vega saying _that_ over the COMM (because the room was too big for even turian ears to catch a whisper from the other side), Garrus' insides clenched up. He still brought himself to turn around and head over to see what the problem was. _There's _two_ COMMs, remember? It might not be her._ But even when he got there and saw that it wasn't, not all of his tension was alleviated.

"Anderson?" Ashley gasped as she fell to her knees, checking for a pulse even though she knew she wouldn't find one.

Garrus' C-Sec instincts quickly started examining the body. Gunshot wound to the lower abdomen, tore through the stomach, could've recovered if not for internal bleeding that even medi-gel might not have patched up. He did wonder who shot him, but Ashley's reaction and James' attempts to calm her stirred something else in him. He had heard that Admiral Anderson was MIA as well, but he had been so focused on finding Shepard that he had neglected to consider how she would feel if she came back only to find out that her mentor was dead. Still, he would prefer her alive and grieving rather than dead and unable to mourn. Knowing there was nothing they could do, then, he helped the squad pull the body aside so that they could return it for a proper burial. Then they set back to their search.

Garrus felt that fear creeping through him, ice across his bones as he returned to his former position and went from there. That tormenting thought was repeating in his head—_What if she's gone?_—and seeing someone she cared about, the second COMM they'd found, gone was not helping to quell it. Simply to have something to tell himself to chase that thought away, he searched his memories for some evidence that she would have made it even through this. Given how long he'd served on an Alliance ship, he eventually settled, somewhat against his better judgment, on what they called the "rule of three": humans can survive for three minutes without air, three days without water, and three weeks without food. Three weeks had not yet gone by (though two were not recommended), so that eased some of the worry. Three days was long past, but all Alliance hard-suits were equipped with an apparatus to administer stimulants and nutrients to prevent malnutrition or exhaustion or dehydration during long battles, and, presumably, the most protected feature of a space-worthy armor set would still be intact even after however much punishment it had taken since the _Normandy_ left her in London. Three minutes without air was what worried him; life support was one of the station systems that had lost power after the Crucible went off, which was why their little search party was all using oxygen masks, but surely whatever air had been on the station when it lost power was still present and that much air could have lasted for one person even for this long. Surely. _It had to… _No, his concern for her safety should lie in whatever injuries she'd have sustained since he last saw her and, given that she previously returned from being spaced (albeit with some assistance from Cerberus and two years in which to do so), he was confident that none of it would keep her down for long. She would be fine.

Surely.

She_ had to_ be.

Once again, Garrus was thrown from his thoughts by a sound from one of the others over the COMM. This time, it was a gasp from Liara T'Soni. Unlike James' signal, this could mean anything, so Garrus forced back the fears tearing through him and joined the others at the asari's location. When they got there, though, they all stopped cold.

The Illusive Man lay there, dead from a gunshot wound like Anderson. He was clutching a gun, all the proof they needed to reach the conclusion that he'd been the one to kill the admiral.

Though while the others were debating this, Garrus was inching back. Rather than inspecting the situation and putting the facts together like he had with Anderson, he was doing his best to avoid them. That was two. Two COMMs. Two bodies. And neither of them were Shepard. He was amazed he was still breathing, still standing, as it sunk in that she wasn't here. _It can't be true. She has to—!_

Suddenly, Ashley let off a furious growl, drew her gun, and shot the corpse at her feet.

"Ash!" James immediately snapped.

"I'm just mad!"

Tali sighed, shaking her head as she opened her omni-tool again. "I know we're all upset, but we—" Suddenly, she froze.

Liara took notice first. "Tali, what's wrong?"

"He's not the second COMM."

"What?" Garrus gasped, the feeling slowly returning to his nerves as her words sunk in.

"His COMM's been deactivated! There's still one more here!"

_It's not him. There's still a chance._ Garrus didn't bother waiting for the others to finish talking this over before racing back to his search area and again looking for some sign of the commander. Frantically, he rushed through mounds of dust, around slabs of steel, and under exposed wires to—

He stopped. He had been about to go around a collapsed platform that appeared to have fallen from some room overhead only to come to rest against the wall when his foot had hit something. Holding his breath in preparation for the worst, he looked down. He had indeed stumbled upon the boot of an all-too-familiar armor set. On his knees before he knew he was moving, he tossed aside all the rubble in his way until he had confirmed it.

It was her.

Light brown hair hung loose beneath her still form, silvery blue eyes closed and unaware. The sight, so much like the many nights he'd seen her sleeping less-than-peacefully, was meant to be beautiful even to a turian, but instead it was marred in too many places by cuts and burns. The dark red blood that, in some places, was still flowing out of her and the unnatural blackened cracks in her ivory flesh were heart-wrenching to look at, and the thought that they were necessary to achieve the victory she had so long ago earned was sickening. But the soft (too soft, not often enough) rise and fall of her chest and the gentle pounding of her pulse against his fingertips told Garrus that Echo Shepard was alive, and that was more than enough for him.

He didn't know what brought his squad over, if he had called out to them without noticing or if his sudden stillness had given it away, but they were at his side in an instant, everything from relief to horror stampeding through them. They were talking, probably calling the _Normandy_ for medical support or arguing about how to safely get her back themselves, but Garrus didn't hear a single world, too focused on the clinging-to-life human lying on the floor in front of him.

When they finally started to clear the chamber and head back to the ship, he stayed close, his hand in hers. She was still unresponsive, still broken and battered, but still alive. "Stay with me," he whispered to her as he clutched her wrist to feel her too-slow pulse remind him that she was here. She didn't even move, made no acknowledgement he was even there to speak to her. But he simply clung tighter to her. He knew her. If she was alive at all, she was bouncing back. The Reapers weren't taking her with them, no matter how hard they tried. The thought chased away the last of the icy what-ifs in his mind, giving him the courage to say what he needed to while he could: "I love you."

She moved then. Her fingers turned to clutch his in return. It wasn't much. But it was more than enough for the turian that loved her.


	2. Diagnosis

Chapter 2: Diagnosis

The _Normandy_'s med bay would normally have been fully prepared to treat its disabled commander, but Dr. Chakwas was concerned she needed more care than they could give. There was little debate before they had Joker take them away from the Citadel to London. One of the hospitals was nearly restored by now and was in the process of tending to those who were still wounded. When the squad rushed in with Commander Echo Shepard herself, though, every medical personnel in the building seemed to drop everything and come to help. The squad was naturally determined to stay close and keep an eye on her but were eventually shooed out to the nearest waiting room so that there would be space for the doctors in the OR. Several of them were prepared to put up a fight about the issue before Dr. Chakwas herself stepped in and told them to go along with it, assuring them that she would keep an eye out for them as she headed in to help with whatever was needed to get the commander back on her feet.

So it was that Garrus, Tali, Liara, Ashley, and James essentially cordoned off a waiting room specifically for the commander's former squad-mates. After a few tense hours, Dr. Chakwas came back to inform them of the initial reports—15 broken bones, cybernetics burned out, slight malnutrition (the hard-suit apparatus had been running on fumes when they'd found her), and severe blood loss. It was worrying, to say the least, but Chakwas said it could all be fixed.

"Oh, yeah?" Garrus asked, "And how long will that take?"

Dr. Chakwas hesitated. "We are running low on supplies, but we should hold out long enough to fix the worst of it. It'll just take a bit longer than usual. A week, conservative guess."

Garrus sighed in exasperation, shaking his head. "You do realize she hates hospitals…"

Still, they waited in near silence for news. News was few and far between, though, and they discovered that this part was even harder than the searching. Most of them started to bounce between the waiting room and the _Normandy_, but Garrus stayed there, consistently complaining that he should be in the room with her in case she woke up, to which Liara or Tali (whichever was present at the time) would remind him that the commander was in and out of surgery and under constant anesthesia until further notice so it wouldn't matter. After two days of this, the five of them at least got some company when the rest of Shepard's former squad-mates—everyone from Wrex to Kasumi—received word of their commander's whereabouts and came to join the vigil. Three days after this, Dr. Chakwas came out to inform them that any surgical corrections that could be made had been; she stepped down with the news that the rest was up to recovery and that all they could do was hope for the best.

They spent the next few days "catching up" in the absence of news. The conversations were interspersed with messages from their families, from their crewmates, from admirals, from Primarch Victus, even from the Council themselves, all asking after the commander's wellbeing. They had developed a general response of "She's still in recovery, she's not even awake yet, we'll let you know if anything changes." With every passing day of no word, though, things got more and more tense.

"This is Shepard we're talking about!" Jack finally declared, "She should be up and complaining about being in a hospital by now!"

"Much as I agree," Garrus sighed, "it's not up to her this time."

"Well, then, can't these so-called 'doctors' hurry up?! I've got kids and a varren to worry about."

Wisely, no one said anything to that.

Two weeks had gone by since Shepard's rescue, everyone but Garrus constantly in and out of the waiting room, before they heard anything. When a nurse came by and informed them that the commander had begun to respond and would soon be waking up, Garrus immediately sent a message to his former squad-mates to inform them of this new development so that they would all come back. They arrived expectant and hopeful, convinced that the next thing they heard would be good news and would come soon.

"Any word?" Samara asked as they gathered.

"They just said she's waking up," Garrus answered, "They're checking her over one last time before clearing her for visitors, but it sounds like she's recovering."

"HA!" Grunt said delightedly, "That's our Shepard! Biggest explosion in the galaxy goes off in her face and she walks it off!"

"Well, sleeps it off, but close enough," Ashley smirked with him.

Garrus couldn't help but smile as well. They were right, after all, that it was only a matter of time. In a few moments, he was convinced, she might even just walk out, shooing away doctors to insist on celebrating their recent victory and sharing jokes about how she'd rather set off another galaxy-shaking explosion than spend five more minutes in a hospital. It would hardly be the first time she'd stormed out of a med bay, still limping from a half-healed broken bone and yet threatening to shoot the next person that "offered" her any drugs besides nice, simple medi-gel. After the Leviathan incident, she'd been so restless that he'd had to go in and hold her down until she surrendered to the fact that while nearly drowning was something she could just shrug off, any head trauma she may have suffered during or after the reason for that drowning ("We're not talking about this mind control, _Matrix_-wannabe crap again, alright?") was not. He hadn't complained, even though she had only relented on the condition that he stay in there with her. She had that effect on him. It was a stark contrast to how she usually was—always patient with the rest of them, always so friendly, always putting them first.

Yeah, she'd be fine. She was a fighter. And even if she wasn't, the galaxy was already down a few too many good people to lose someone like that so easily. She'd been through enough trying to protect them all.

He did still wish he'd been allowed to be there when she woke up, to be the first one she saw. Still, this was enough for him. He closed his eyes and saw what he knew was coming, the moment that she came down the hall and caught sight of him, when she would run past everyone like there was no one else there and kiss him like she had before that final run. Nice as their hopefully-not-a-farewell had been, he longed for the embrace that would prove it hadn't been the last time. He wanted to rectify the fact that they had almost lost so much, tell her he loved her without a Reaper on top of them, never let her go again, at least see those silver blue eyes looking at him with a happiness he couldn't help but share in.

It would certainly make all this helpless, frightened waiting worth it.

"I won't lie," Tali sighed, "I have been worried."

"Yeah, we all have," Kasumi nodded.

"Don't let her hear you say that," Jacob smirked, "She'll never let you live it down."

"I don't know," Zaeed shrugged, "She might take it as a compliment. She's unpredictable like that."

Garrus stifled a laugh. "Yeah. She really is."

"I take it you're the crew of the _Normandy_?" All eyes turned to see that the doctor was at the door.

Liara quickly took the front. "Is she alright?"

"She's healed from the physical damage almost completely over the last two weeks. She should make a full recovery."

Liara sighed with relief as the others did. "Thank the Goddess."

While the squad was relishing the good news at long last, however, the doctor turned to look at his datapad as if hoping the data it contained would change if he didn't meet any of their eyes.

Miranda was the one who noticed the doctor's discomfort. "…is something wrong?"

He hesitated to answer but, seeing that Miranda's question had returned everyone's attention to him, saw no point in putting it off. "Like I said, the physical damage will be repaired. But…" He sighed, finding no other way to say it: "…somewhere in the explosion, her hippocampus was damaged as well."

Miranda's reaction was immediate and unsettling. The other humans in the group seemed suddenly ill-at-ease, but the aliens were uncertain.

"Uh…what does that mean?" Tali finally asked.

Miranda seemed too stunned to answer but drew herself to clarify before the doctor could: "It's the area of the human brain that regulates long-term memory."

That's when all of them started to panic.

"She regained consciousness almost an hour ago," the doctor quickly explained, "We've checked the damage. Everything up to the _Normandy_'s first takeoff is completely intact. For the most part, she seems to recall the events after that up until the last run to the beam, then her memory completely dissolves. Since she's been unconscious for anything that would encompass short-term memory, that's the best she has…but…"

Wrex finally cut loose: "But _what_?!"

The doctor visibly recoiled. Wrex was intimidating when he _wasn't_ testy. That was a line he didn't want to cross. "The _events_ that have taken place are still there—Sovereign, the Collectors, even most of the war—but when we started testing names, she started shutting down. Obviously, she knew David Anderson, but when we gave the name Jeff Moreau, she said it sounded familiar but she couldn't place it. When we said 'Kaidan Alenko'…she said she'd never heard that name before. We tried James Vega, Ashley Williams, even the Illusive Man, but the results were the same. It's safe to say anyone she met from Eden Prime onward is…gone."

The squad then saw the true extent of the problem. She had met all of them after Eden Prime.

Tali dropped into her seat. "…she doesn't remember any of us?"

The doctor sighed. "No, I don't believe she does."

Those words hit them all like a punch in the gut. Their unbreakable commander, the one who had stood with them through the worst of it, the one who had turned (by force where necessary) a group of aliens and renegades into a family that the Reapers couldn't separate, the one who had led them through countless firefights and bested death itself…and now wouldn't know any of the crewmen she'd brought together. As much as some of them might try to hide it, Shepard had meant a lot to them all, and the fact that they were present to be there when she woke up showed it. There was so much they needed to say, so much they had promised for the "after it's over," and now it didn't even matter. She was alive, yes. But she was still gone.

"Every case of amnesia is different," the doctor continued, "so we're not sure how to attempt fixing it. The memories are still in her mind somewhere, but she can't access them. An asari medic suggested 'melding therapy,' but I think the best treatment would be reminders—the more time she spends with all of you, the more likely she is to remember you. We're still running a few more checks before she's cleared, so we'll let you know as soon as anything changes."

None of them acted like they even heard him, so Liara took over again. "We…we'll keep that in mind. Thank you."

He simply nodded and left the room.

Silence fell at his exit. There was nothing any of them could say. There was a certain kind of irony in this, some of the galaxy's mightiest warriors apparently brought down by losing a friend to something other than death. It was to them as if the room was colder, as if the lights were dimmer, as if breaking the silence would make it all real when this must clearly be a nightmare because Shepard would never break this way. She _wouldn't_, either—she'd been fighting for them for too long to lose them this way now. Well, no, she wasn't losing them, was she? They were losing her. Not that it made much difference which way around it was when the result was the same. All that searching to avoid the chance of living in a galaxy without Shepard and now it didn't matter. Then again, they'd succeeded in saving her. They were the only ones this was hurting. Everyone else would just be relieved she was recovered and disappointed they'd never learn what happened at the Crucible; _her family_, on the other hand…well, it was harder to claim they were a family when the person that made them one wouldn't even recognize any of them.

"Well…" Liara finally spoke up, "…we'll just have to try what he suggested and hope—"

_Crash!_

Liara jumped, whirling around to see what had caused the sound.

Garrus stood over an upturned chair. He had apparently tossed it so hard it broke in two. He didn't seem to have calmed afterward, either. His fists were clenched so tight that his talons would have carved right into his palms had he not been wearing gloves. His breathing was shallow and tense. The look in his eyes was a fiery, "if looks could kill" glare to rival what he once would have given Sidonis. His muscles tight, his heart pounding in his ears, his voice aching to scream—it was a wonder that Tali rushing over did _anything_ to ease his rage. Though that could be because he wasn't really angry underneath it all.

He was too empty to be.

_She doesn't remember me. She doesn't remember _us_._ The thought was enough to hollow him out in a way he wouldn't have believed possible even when he was mourning her. True, it was perhaps because he had known deep down that she was still alive. Even now, he was telling himself that this might not be true either, that they hadn't tested his name yet, that this was a temporary side effect and she would still wake up and come rushing back the second she saw him. But there wasn't much chance of that, was there?

Some part of him wanted to be angry, if only so he could feel _something_ about how she had just forgotten him completely. But it was Shepard, and Shepard wasn't someone you could just be angry at. He couldn't be sad about it because the others were there (and it hardly seemed fair to mourn something like this when so much worse had been lost lately). He couldn't even just be happy that she was OK because this meant she wasn't _his_ anymore. No, he was just _empty_, as if he had set aside some part of himself specifically for her and it had been snatched away.

He finally resorted to sitting down in the chair next to the one he had thrown, Tali taking the one beside it so she could stay close, and staring at the floor in silence.

"Liara's right," Tali said, apparently the only one willing to intrude on whatever was running through his head, "We just have to take it slow, hope it won't take that long for her to remember. I mean, like we said, it's Shepard, so it shouldn't be that hard for her."

Garrus told himself Tali was right. _It's Shepard. Death didn't stop her and this won't either._ But as many times as he told himself, it did nothing to ease the pressure building inside him at the thought that the love of his life, at this very moment, didn't even know who he was. Recently, he had taken to distracting himself with memories of their time together, from the moment they met to the moment she ran for that beam without him; but doing that now wasn't going to help when every memory he clung to brought with it the sting of realizing that, even though she was alive, she couldn't do the same. Deep down, he couldn't help but dread the idea that she would never be able to again, that what they'd had was gone forever and she would never look at him the same way again. The only one who had ever been able to soothe such intense fears within him was now the reason it was happening and he couldn't even talk to her about it because of stupid protocols and protocols he despised had been the reason he first joined her and she had believed in him when no one else did and they had been truly in love and how was he supposed to come back from this if she couldn't?!

When he noticed the others were starting to ignore him in favor of strategizing how to proceed from here, he took the opportunity to tell Tali he needed some space and leave the hospital for the first time in two weeks. He didn't stop moving until he was outside, didn't spare a glance for a single passerby. Even when he was outside, he seemed to suddenly realize just how ruthlessly crowded the area was, given how it was the only hospital in the area that was fully functional just yet and, even a month after the final battle, they had plenty of war-wounded to worry about. The turian finally made his way to the back of the building and located a spot that was more quiet and isolated.

He wanted to start by hitting something but found that he'd spent all of that energy on the chair in the waiting room. So instead, he slumped against the wall and let the emptiness overcome him.

_"You'll never be alone," she told him._

But he felt awfully alone right now.


	3. Decision

Chapter 3: Decision

Ever since he first woke up in the _Normandy_'s med bay and heard what happened after they left London, Garrus had been spending any time that he was unobserved on his omni-tool. Not distracting himself with calculations like he would in the battery but looking at a picture. The picture was taken the day he took Shepard up to the top of the Presidium and "made it official." She had just "lost" to him in a shooting match (because he'd always known she threw that shot but, because he knew why, didn't care), so the image was of him with his arm around her waist, pulling her close and looking at her with the possessive desire of a turian deeply in love, as she smirked at him, the hand not currently taking the picture still lazily clutching his rifle, the look in her eyes mirthfully reflecting his own. That was a day that he counted as possibly the best of his entire life, the day she told him that she loved him. The day he knew he loved her back. The day he should have told her so.

Not that it mattered anymore, he admitted painfully as he looked at it again, since she didn't remember any of it now.

He forced himself to turn off his omni-tool so he could remind himself why this particular setback shouldn't matter—she might still remember some of it, she'd get it all back if they just spent enough time together, they could make new memories together even if the old ones stayed somehow locked away—but he couldn't deny the ache in his heart at the thought that, ever since he heard what they'd lost, his every moment was spent completely alone, more than he would've believed possible before she left him in London but had been occurring all too often since she did. Until now, he could tell himself that she was out there looking for him. From this point on, though, she was out there and didn't even care. Didn't even know. If he were wholly selfish, he might have thought it was better if she had died. As it was, he was quite the opposite, wishing he could've done something to make sure none of this would happen. But it did. He'd been helpless. And now he was up against an enemy that he couldn't make go away by shooting it, which was a problem he wasn't normally equipped to handle. Usually, if something along those lines took place, he could just go to Shepard to ask what to do. And now he couldn't even do that. It was a vicious cycle of thought that just made him want to hit something, but a hospital wasn't a good place to find targets.

So instead he sat there, unsure what to do. The others had been debating it all night, ever since the doctor had informed them of Shepard's…_condition_. For the most part, they agreed they would have no choice but to try what he'd suggested and just tell her what was going on until her memories came back on their own. Where the controversy was arising was from the question of who would go in first. Shepard was still technically being treated, so they had until she was fully conscious or even cleared to go before action would need to be taken. Jack and Zaeed had asserted that they weren't going in, period. Miranda had volunteered to try first after Tali had shied away, arguing that she was the first one to make contact last time Shepard had been revived from fatal injuries and the familiarity would probably jumpstart the process; Jacob had argued that those were probably not the memories they wanted to lead with and suggested someone else go. Wrex had outright asked why they didn't just all go in at once, received only glares as an answer, consented that overwhelming her at this point was probably a bad idea, and stayed out of further discussion. It was only when Joker showed up and heard the whole story that they realized the solution wouldn't be that simple.

"You really don't get it, do you?" the pilot shook his head at them.

"What?" Liara asked.

"What if she doesn't want to remember?"

The suggestion caused such a backlash among the squad that they all seemed too shocked or confused or angry to actually respond.

"Think about it. 1: the last thing she does remember is that Anderson is dead but she doesn't remember how it happened, and that's one thing she probably wouldn't want cleared up. And 2: whatever the Crucible did is what shut down EDI and the geth. You think _Shepard_ would want to live with that decision? …I know I wouldn't." With that said, he turned and sat down, not looking at any of them. It was clear EDI wasn't going to be restored, at least not anytime soon. Keeping that in mind, none of them attempted to argue with him for fear of antagonizing him further.

As if Joker had summoned her, one of the nurses came by then. "Commander Shepard is awake. They're finishing the observation now if you want to go see her." Without waiting for a response, she left.

Five seconds went by where the squad was completely silent, unsure how to proceed.

Then Grunt turned to look at them. "…well?!"

Ashley growled. "'Well,' what?! We aren't exactly agreeing!"

"We should not be arguing about this," Samara stepped in, "Shepard is fragile right now and we should be more concerned…"

But while the others debated, Joker's words rattled through Garrus' mind. The others could say that Joker was lashing out from grief for losing EDI, but Garrus knew better. He knew _Shepard_ better. As much as he hated to admit it, Joker was right, at least in part. There was always the chance that the doctor was wrong, that just being around them might not be enough to bring her memories back or that her memories might be somehow damaged or that they might even be gone forever. But if not, they had to bear in mind what the outcome was going to be. Right now, she'd be lost and upset, sure, but if those memories came back and proved too much for her, if what she'd been through up there without them had been so traumatic as to facilitate memory loss in the first place, then recalling what she'd done might just ruin her. That was one thing her boyfriend was sworn to prevent.

He'd already decided he'd rather have her grieving than dead. But if there was a chance for neither…

No, this wasn't a decision he could make _for_ her. Although offering it as a decision would probably decide for her anyway. Who knew how she would respond to even seeing them, how long it would take before things started to come together?

_Maybe, what if, who knows_—he'd had enough of them. He needed answers.

So he acted, not giving himself a chance to think it over, and got up. "I'm going." He said it decisively, certainly, as much to prevent himself from talking his way out of it as to stop the debate roiling between the others, and started to head out before any of them even realized he'd said something.

"You're _what_?" Kasumi said.

"Garrus, wait—!" James started.

Garrus ignored them all, leaving the waiting room behind and making his way down the hall to the room Shepard was in. Distantly, he could even hear them talking behind him ("Well, he's the one she's most likely to know, so I guess…"), but he blocked it out, kept his eyes on his destination. Now he had a goal in mind, determination was pushing aside all his doubts and dreads. It was pointless speculating. He needed to see her. He needed to _know_.

The whole way there, this was the only thought in his mind. But when he actually arrived, he froze. For a moment, he simply looked at the door in front of him. She was in there. He took all of four seconds to wonder how much better she was doing as compared to the mess she was in when he'd found her, then he realized that the wonderings were simply stalling the inevitable and forced it aside. He was here. He had to take action. Hadn't she always been telling him to be more of a risk-taker? Wouldn't she be pushing him to brace for impact and dive right in? Then again, she might think differently if she knew that she was the risk he was taking. Still, every second he stood here putting it off was only going to make the waiting worse and wouldn't change what happened when he went in. Just to sum up his courage, he pushed aside the what-ifs and focused on what he knew his Shepard would do: "miraculously" recover in an instant and then rush across the room to his side. Even if it didn't happen this time, it was enough to fortify his nerves as he faced the door again. Finally, he opened it and stepped in.

There she was, sitting in a medical bed, glancing passively at a vid-screen, clearly aching to leave the building entirely, and already back in her uniform. The damage from the explosion really did seem to be largely fixed. All of the burns were now little more than pink patches on her soft ivory flesh. All of the cuts were either stitched up or healed into barely visible scars. All of the broken bones that had been debilitating were back in place and the minor ones were bandaged carefully. All of the cybernetics that had burned out were either replaced or rendered unnecessary given restored function from how long she'd had to heal since they were first installed. Any signs of malnutrition or dehydration were gone. Any muscles that had atrophied were in the process of regeneration. She had even taken the time to brush out her light brown hair, tossing it over her right shoulder after realizing that there was no point in caring how she looked until she was cleared anyway. Her silver blue eyes were shining even aside from the reflections of the vid-screen. There was a sadness under it all, probably from knowing she had lost something and didn't even know how to reclaim it, but her fighter nature was back in place, challenging anyone to say she was less than fit for duty. The sight drew some joy and even hope into Garrus' mind.

But then she noticed he was there and turned to look at him. The second her eyes met his, the hope inside of him was extinguished. She met his gaze with the wariness a trained soldier would give a total stranger.

She didn't recognize him at all.

She turned in the bed to give him her full attention, seemingly unaware of how the subtle defensiveness in her stance sent a pang of loss surging through him. "Can I help you?"

At the sound of her voice, distant and uncertain, he longed to take her side and tell her everything. The thought of living in a universe where those silver blue eyes could look at him without the joy and belonging he'd claimed for so long, like he meant nothing to her, like what they'd had together never even happened—it was unbearable. He had meant what he said when he told her he needed her, he had waited too long to say he loved her, and he was in no way willing to let that go. She _had_ to remember him, had to still care about him somehow, and he'd do anything it took to give back to her what he'd already been giving for so long.

But if he brought back those memories, he'd bring back all of them. Memories of death and war and lost friends and…and the fact that whatever she did at the Crucible had killed EDI and the geth. Had she known that would be the cost when she activated it? He knew deep down she couldn't live with herself if she had, that there would have had to be no other option before she'd do something that would hurt such a close friend and risk an entire species, especially one that another close friend had given his life for. Yes, he still wanted to be with her, but he also wanted her to be happy, to find some peace now that the threat was over. That wasn't something that could be given.

…but it was something she had that he couldn't take away.

So Garrus turned to her and told her "I think you've helped all you needed to."

She simply gave him a curious look shrouded in confusion.

Realizing what the look meant, he started piecing together a story that would cover it without lying to her or threatening to give away who he was. "You, uh…I wouldn't expect you to remember, but you saved my platoon on Palaven—saved my family by getting the krogan to help, too. The Primarch wanted me to make sure you were OK, and I thought I'd thank you for that while I was here."

She still seemed confused (though the eyes of the one who knew her best saw this might be to hide the unease within her at the thought of how much she was missing, something he could only hope she'd learn to live without), but she accepted the explanation. "Oh. Well, I…guess you're welcome. Don't worry, I'll be fine."

He just nodded. "Yeah. Of course you will." And with that, he left.

He passed the waiting room on the way out, not paying attention to his friends calling after him, asking what happened, where he was going, why he was leaving. He didn't look back or stop moving until he was at the elevator. If he did, he might change his mind. Well, no, he was pretty convinced he couldn't be that selfish, at least not when it came to Shepard, but it would make this harder than it already was.

"Garrus." That voice in particular elicited a response. Against his better judgment, Garrus turned to look back at Tali. "You're not even going to try?"

The insinuation hurt him deeply, but he simply waited for the elevator door to open before stepping in. "She's better off without me."

Tali's look of shock was visible even through the helmet. She jumped to grab the door before it could close, facing him down. "You can't mean that. It's not true."

He simply looked at her. She was the one after him who was closest to Shepard, so she would have to understand. She was the one who had been at his side the whole time he was searching for the commander, the one who kept him sane because she knew he wouldn't give up, so she would have to know that he wouldn't just walk away from this unless he was certain it was the right thing to do. She would disagree at first, but when she remembered where her people were left by losing the geth, she'd realize she couldn't put that weight back on Shepard's shoulders, not when it had just been removed after months of endless battle, not when the commander had a chance to move on and find some _peace_ in her life and just be Shepard rather than the commander all the time. And when they all learned that, when they all saw that this was what had to be done, he could say it wasn't giving up. He could say that he was telling the truth when he faced down Tali, firm as he could, and told her unblinkingly… "…yes, it is."

Tali still looked at him, still shocked, but said nothing. She could tell this was hurting him. He wouldn't allow that. He wouldn't let anything stand between him and Shepard. Unless, it was now clear, he thought it was best for her. He was hopelessly in love with her and they all knew it, so he would do anything for her. Even leave her. Tali was certain this couldn't be the answer, that fate wouldn't be so cruel as to pull them apart then let him find her only to break them completely like this. She especially didn't want to lose her closest friend in the galaxy only for her second closest friend to take away their best chance of getting her back. But no matter how much she wanted to argue, she could see in his eyes that his choice was made. So she stepped back and let the door close.

Garrus finally sunk to the floor of the elevator. He could feel a weight baring down on him, one he took as proof, for now, that he was taking a larger one off of Shepard's. He wondered if she even noticed a difference yet, if she had any reason to believe he had been there for anything other than what he told her. Worse yet, he realized he didn't care if she did. All that mattered was that she had a chance to move on. Though the thought of her with anybody else made him sick—yet more proof he shouldn't be anywhere near her anymore—he knew the greater loss was that he would never hold her again, never kiss her again, never get the chance to tell her how he felt, never see her smile again, never even look one last time at those silver blue eyes. He loved her. By all the spirits, he _loved her_. And here he was, _leaving her behind_.

Though maybe he had to. After all, what was that human saying? "If you love something, set it free"? Well, he was setting her free. From this point forward, with the war over, she was well and truly _free_. She had no obligations, no attachments, nothing holding her down. She had the chance to have a real life now. Because she was out of his life now. For good.

Sadly, he opened his omni-tool and looked at the picture he had been staring at for so many days, him and Shepard at the top of the Presidium. A memory he would always cherish…and she never would. With a sigh, he closed it down. "Goodbye, Shepard. …I'll always remember you."


	4. Distance

Chapter 4: Distance

_Three years later…_

The turians' return to their home-world, following the Reapers' destruction and the mass relays' repair, had been triumphant at first. When they actually arrived, faced with the silence and dust of planet-wide desolation, it became solemn. Once their dead were attended to, their first order of business was restoring what they'd lost. Cipritine, the capital, was more or less back to the way it had been before the war by now. However, since most of the other cities were still being reconstructed, the capital was surrounded by refugee camps even as most of the citizens reclaimed some semblances of their former homes.

Garrus Vakarian had returned to Palaven almost immediately after this process began. After a more-pleasant-than-expected reunion with his father and sister, he'd resumed his post coordinating turian efforts and done what he could to assist with the rebuilding (as his specialties were largely in shooting things, his part was mostly technical support, but every little bit helped at that point). He was still technically advisor to the Primarch, so he used his position to secure a new home for his family as soon as the possibility was available; however, he refused to use his position to get himself ahead (at least, that's what he told everyone, since his reasons also included that he preferred to be alone as much as possible these days), so he was residing in a house at the edge of the city that overlooked the one area not technically set aside as a refugee camp (the reason for that was because it was home to a crater left by Reaper fire, but at least that meant it had a nice view of the horizon).

This particular day didn't start any differently than most days had since he moved in. Waking up, still clinging to dreams for the few minutes before he remembered they weren't real and never would be, was generally the easy part of the day. It was the rest of the day that was always hard, going about his life as if there wasn't a gaping hole in it. He rarely kept contact with his old squad-mates. He sometimes wondered where he would be—who he would be with—had things gone differently on Earth. He always stopped himself, though. Wondering was pointless. The past was beyond his control. The future would take care of itself now. The present was his concern. Unfortunately, the present was also his problem.

The nice thing about his position in the hierarchy was that he didn't need to show up for work unless he was specifically needed. He still usually went by, if only to keep busy, but it was completely up to him when to do so. Today, he resolved to do that later. First, he had family to see.

Trebia was on the rise as he left the house and started to make his way closer to the city center. The city was already busy by now. Turians had a way of making themselves busy, naturally, but it had been necessary the past three years. Close as Cipritine was to rebuilt, parts of the city were still technically under construction. Supplies were rushed to and from the refugee camps on the outskirts and the other cities in the process of restoration across the planet. Medical personnel were constantly on the move until the hospitals were properly reconstructed. Soldiers were fortifying defenses they had lost to the Reapers, prepared for anything even in the galaxy-wide peace the war had left them in. It was hectic and noisy from dawn to dusk, but the citizens had gotten used to it, particularly since the majority of their residencies were in the relatively quiet outskirts and already restored city center. The markets and transport stations had even returned to business as usual, because, as a human would say, "life goes on."

Garrus had grown accustomed to finding a way through the bustling crowds in the area between his house and his family's. He sidestepped and ducked past the vast number of turians milling like ants through the district, barely even taking note of his path until he'd reached the side street that cut through to the hub of the capital. Once he was in the clear, he made his way down the road to the complex that his father and sister were living in.

He'd barely knocked on the door when Castis himself answered. "Garrus. Is everything alright?"

"Just dropping in," Garrus answered, stepping past his father to let the door close behind him.

Solana stood nearby, smiling at the sight of her brother. "Are you ever gonna stop worrying about us?"

"Considering everything that's happened? Probably not in the next 30 years."

She scoffed. "Like anyone would mess with us. You're a war hero now. They hear the name 'Vakarian' and go running right past sniper range."

Garrus smirked. He hadn't always been close to Solana, especially not during his Omega days, but he could usually count on her to "lift his spirits," as the humans would say.

"Aren't you needed with the Primarch?" Castis inquired.

"I'm still technically a _military_ advisor, so I'm not much use for reconstruction. Right now, the main concern is reestablishing trade routes with the asari, which I'm obviously not gonna make much of a difference in. I'm still going by, but I doubt I'll be doing much." He sighed. "Never thought I'd miss C-Sec."

Castis couldn't help but smirk at that comment. "Yes, well, much as it refused to fit with you, you are better suited to hunting down criminals than telling people to do it for you."

"Always was. But…I don't know, you just see a lot of things differently after a war."

Solana waited for a few seconds after the silence ensued by that comment before deciding to avert the conversation to something else: "Why is the Primarch so concerned with reestablishing trade routes? I thought all the mass relays were fixed."

"Yeah, but there's a lot of new debris fields to go around and everyone else is trying to map their own courses at the same time. The thing about reconstructing an entire galactic civilization? The littlest things tend to cause the biggest problems, probably because they seemed too simple before."

Solana simply shrugged. "Anything's better than total extinction, I guess."

"You'd think."

Castis shook his head at his kids' exchange. "You two go ahead, then. I have some old friends to get in touch with myself." With that, he left the room.

Once he was gone, Solana turned to her brother. "Speaking of old friends," Solana smirked, nudging him, "what are you planning for the first night in town?"

Garrus just looked at her. "What are you talking about?"

Solana returned his look curiously. "You haven't heard?"

That's when Garrus' omni-tool started beeping. He checked it, finding a message from Liara there.

Check the news feeds.

"Guess I'm about to." He closed the message and did what his asari friend suggested. Former Cerberus operative convicted by Alliance—unimportant. Quarians about to finish isolating code to restore geth—he already knew that. Restoration progress, krogan colony debates, diplomatic envoys—wait…

_Commander Echo Shepard arriving in Cipritine today._

…_she's coming _here_. Today!_

For the first time in years, Garrus completely froze. Once the hand not holding his omni-tool open was leaning on a wall to keep him upright, his brain seemed to entirely stop sending signals to his nerves so as to reserve power for processing this information. This couldn't be possible. What business could the Alliance or the Spectres have that would bring _her _to _Palaven_? He'd been so careful to stay away. Three years he'd gone only hearing about her in few and far between news reports about her latest exploits, never once allowing himself to wonder if she'd found someone else or if she was happy or if she resented the lost memories. And now, after all this time, _she_ was coming to _him_. Why? For how long? And why did it suddenly feel like someone was sapping all the oxygen from the room and all the blood from his legs? He tried to take a moment to shake it off and steady himself, but again the thought would intrude—_she's coming here._

He didn't bother wondering why no one had warned him before now. None of his crewmates had stayed in contact with her except Liara herself. Most of the others, possibly thanks to Joker, realized that Shepard's actions were what had resulted in the geth's temporary extinction and EDI's unfortunate demise; knowing that regaining her memory of this action would destroy her with the guilt of killing a friend and dishonoring the legacy of another, those members of her old team had elected not to remain in her life, worried they would rekindle those particular memories and hurt her. The rest had been on the side of attempting what the doctor had suggested to bring her back, but they had all abandoned that plan as hopeless when Garrus walked away and proved the others right. Liara had approached Shepard as a friend and remained in distant contact with her, but despite growing into possibly the best friend she had after the war, she had never attempted to bring back old memories or even mentioned that they had met before the restoration efforts began.

Now those efforts seemed to be bringing her right to the one person in the entire galaxy who needed her most. And who most needed her to stay away from him.

"Garrus?" Solana's voice cut in, snapping him back to reality.

He fumbled to close his omni-tool, but he didn't face his sister. His reaction was hard enough to take without letting her see it. It wasn't as if she wouldn't have expected this to be hard on him. He had told her and Castis that Shepard had been damaged in the final battle and that he had cut ties. He hadn't mentioned there was more to his relationship with her, but that was partly because he had always suspected that they still knew. Perhaps he had simply been that obvious during those six months she was out of reach after they had already given everything to each other…

He pushed that thought back. Thinking back to the old days made things worse. Although not near as much worse as they were about to be.

Solana, naturally, saw he was upset. Suddenly regretting her earlier teasing, she sighed. "Are you gonna be OK?"

…_I don't know._ His mind was still wrestling with the concept that she was about to be so close. It'd been hard enough staying away when she was five relays jumps into the distance and he had no idea where on Earth to find her. How was he supposed to hold himself back when she was literally just on the other side of town? He tried to focus on wondering what she was doing here by opening the news report that was currently advertising her arrival, but he couldn't bring himself to look. What would it do to him to see a picture of her now? She'd always had a way of wearing him down. If he saw her now, he'd want more. More was exactly what he couldn't have. For her. He'd walked away for her. He had to stay away for her. He couldn't just skip town for a few days unless he knew how long she'd be staying. But he also couldn't ignore her that long, not if she was this close.

On the other hand, if her entire stay was going to torture him by sending half of himself running after her and the other half running away, maybe it was best he clear out. As it was, he wished Liara and Solana had both just not mentioned it and hoped he didn't happen to inadvertently run into her.

Solana came over to take his side. She didn't make contact or even look at him. She simply stood there, her presence the only support she could offer. "It must be harder than I thought. I'm sorry."

Garrus still didn't move. But he did bring himself to voice his concern now. "Sol, I…I don't know what I'm gonna do."

She looked at him this time. In that one look, she hoped to convey that he was stronger than he gave himself credit for. When he didn't respond, she turned to tell him so. "I know how you feel about her."

Garrus sighed despite himself. _Suspicions confirmed. Wonder what Dad thought about it?_

"And I know you had your reasons for leaving. But I also know _you_, Garrus. If it's the right thing for her, you'll do it, no matter what it takes." She gave him a moment to consider this. She could tell he knew she was right. She even saw his tension lessen, though his stance remained unaltered. Seeing through this to what was truly bothering him, she voiced the truth he didn't want to face: "…but if she really means that much to you…I think your choice is already made."

He couldn't deny this. It rang through him so clearly that his warring thoughts dispelled. Whether or not he lived up to this choice was the real issue at hand. "Right. Thanks." He finally came to the conclusion that staying here and dreading it would not change things. Also, he could not act on any decision he did happen to make unless he left the house. "I, uh…should probably go."

Solana nodded. "Thanks for dropping by, then."

Garrus nodded back and started to walk out.

Solana waited until he had opened the door to leave before she brought herself to speak up again. "Garrus…"

He stopped and turned to look back at her.

"…I'm always here if you…need someone to talk to."

Garrus just looked at her, almost incredulously. "Seriously?"

She sighed. "I'm still your sister. I know we haven't exactly always been close but…well, things change."

Garrus turned those words over in his head. "Yeah. They do. …that's sort of my problem." Seeing she wasn't going to answer this statement, he was threatened with the same what-might-have-been thoughts that had plagued him for three years, but he chased the threat away and resolved to remove the temptation. "See you." Then he walked out, letting the door close behind him.

As he left the complex, he began to turn to head towards the building that was acting as the new Palaven Command. He stopped before he even took the first step. He tried fighting against his instincts, urging himself to just keep walking, but he couldn't deny the reason.

The transport station. Where she would be arriving. It was back the other way.

Solana had been right, of course. He knew what he had to do. His entire brain was screaming at him to go, forget while he could, keep his guard up before everything collapsed around him. Liara had sent him that message for a reason and ignoring the warning wasn't going to get him anywhere. He didn't know how much it would take, how long he could be around her, before it all came rushing back, the very event he'd been trying so hard to prevent. He couldn't risk being that close to her and losing restraint. He couldn't just trust that he would walk away again if he had the chance to take her back. He wasn't willing to cross any line that might end in her getting hurt. He had made the choice three years ago to walk away and there was no changing that. He wasn't just walking back in as if nothing was different and taking back the second chance he'd fought so hard to give to her. It wasn't about what he wanted, it was about what was best for _her_!

But it wasn't a question of staying, was it? It was a question of if he should even go. He hadn't seen her in person since he first left her. So far, he had no proof that she truly was better off. He could only assume. Assumption was the enemy. He needed to _know_ she was happy. She didn't even have to see him. Just a couple seconds, just long enough to give him the proof he needed, so he could tell himself from then on that he wasn't just making excuses when he said she didn't need him.

So he made his decision.

He wouldn't risk throwing away what he'd given for three years. But he also wouldn't dare throw away a chance like this, not knowing what she meant to him. Steeling himself and biting back his inner protests, he turned around and started off.

He had to see her again.


	5. Reconciliation

Chapter 5: Reconciliation

There was only one transport coming in from off-world today, which made tracking down the one _she _would be on a bit easier. If only the waiting could be so easy. At the moment, Garrus was sitting in a waiting area, more tense and impatient than he had been since…well, three years ago. Thinking about those days, about how and why he left, was only going to make it harder for him to go through with this. His instincts were already begging him to get out while he could, but he kept telling himself that it would just be for a moment—he'd see her and get out and she'd never even know the difference. This only served to make his instincts louder, though, since he knew he'd have no control over his actions the second he saw her again. She had a way of doing that to him.

The knowledge that she was drawing closer was provoking the return of old memories, the memories she had so long ago lost, of all the time they spent together. He kept trying to push them back, to seal them in his dreams before they affected his actions today. The last thing he needed was to get so lost in thoughts of what they had that he truly did lose control and forget why he'd walked away. Instead, he focused on the three years since, on the loneliness that was driving him to this reckless action and the distance that had constantly reminded him he had to put her first. That was what they said when they warned you about falling in love: you'll make some stupid decisions and do some crazy things for the one you care about, no matter how much it hurts. And it will hurt.

Ironically, hurting was what kept him going. All those years of fighting, pain in battle had made him fight harder, and pain at the thought of what he stood to lose gave him a reason to keep fighting at all. Now his only opponent was his own desires and he was all but clawing himself in the leg every time his thoughts threatened to betray him. The last thing she needed was for him to come rushing back into her life all of a sudden after leaving her for three years to wrestle with lost memories that he would likely bring back too quickly. He was only here to prove to himself that she was alright without him, after all, not to take this opportunity to pull her aside and tell her what she meant to him and restore the promises they made in London and see her silver blue eyes again claiming him as her one love and run his talons through her soft brown hair until they kissed for the first time in far, far too long—

Abruptly, he remembered what he was doing and instead ran his talons between the plates in his side to snap himself out of it. At first, he retreated to what she once told him, about doing things the right way and not just the easy way. But the more he thought of that, the more he thought of her, the more the despair crept in. _What am I thinking? Seeing her like this is just making it harder on myself. I should get out while I still can._

He never so much as stood to go before he heard the rush of engines. The transport was arriving.

No turning back now. He was too close. Fighting back the fears and regrets, he got up and made his way to the terminal. He struggled to keep his mind clear as he approached. This was the moment past which he could afford no reminiscing, no obstacles that would force him to adjust course at the last second. He had to get in and get out, like she was a bomb he was dropping on a rachni nest.

Ironically, that would've been an apt description during the mission on Utukku.

Smirking at the comparison, he leaned against the wall by the terminal and waited. The air was thick with heat from the transport's engines as well as from the Palaven atmosphere and the crowd milling through the building. It was busy and it was loud but he could still see through the din to the gate. He could still see her, and that was all that mattered.

All too slowly and all too soon, the transport opened. Garrus watched it, awaiting the one person he wanted to see. Most of the passengers were turians, naturally, and some asari. A couple salarians came out, but a few humans were also there. Just one meant anything to him. One human female with eyes a silvery blue, light brown hair that fell over them every time it hung loose, a heart of compassion and courage and long lost adoration for the turian who still loved her…

Garrus forced himself to shake it off. He wasn't about to cross those lines again. These last three years were supposed to prove she was better off not worrying about him. No matter how much he wanted or even needed her, he wouldn't allow himself to—

Those thoughts were broken off as well, though, along with all others when one human in particular stepped off the transport. …_his_ human. His entire being silenced as his eyes found her for the first time in what felt like three lifetimes rather than simply three years. This one moment was worth all the risk he had taken and the pain it would cause him, this one moment in which he could see the human he loved for one last time. Seeing her now, it was as if the crowd between and around them was nonexistent, like she was the only person on the planet, like time had frozen so he could truly see her without letting the risk involved take place. Her soft brown hair had lengthened slightly, still hanging loose. Her silver blue eyes glistened with curiosity at one of the few planets she truly had never set foot on before, the subtle uncertainty buried behind it clear that she wanted to get away from the crowds before her celebrity status caught up with her. Her ivory flesh was scarred in select few places, all traces of the burns and breaks sustained in the Crucible blast now vanished. She wasn't even wearing an Alliance uniform now (though, presumably, there was one right within reach in her astonishingly sparse pack—she always had traveled light, having grown up on the streets), instead dressed in a more casual outfit similar to the type she always wore when she invited him up to her cabin; she was definitely also wearing some form of environmental suit under it to protect from the solar radiation of Palaven's weak magnetic field, though anyone glancing at her nonchalantly would be under the impression she had no need of it. She carried herself with the same military grace, the same brave and kind demeanor, the same honest and beautiful spirit, but none of the weight and grief. She was so, _so_ different. And yet she hadn't changed at all.

When time started up again, Garrus found himself still frozen as the realization kicked in. She was right there. _Right there_. Only 100 paces away. All he had to do was meet her halfway. Just one step too close to the side and she'd be back in his life. It'd be so simple to "stumble" into her and then, as Liara had done, introduce himself as a new friend in the hopes she wouldn't need an old one. It would be easy. Too easy. And not fair. Not fair to him that he couldn't and not fair to her that he meant to. He had come to see her and he had, so he should turn to go. Should. Couldn't. As feared, he wanted more, wanted to be close to her again. The debate still raging, he resolved to think this over rationally in what little time he had before they crossed paths. So that, at least, was decided: they _would_ cross paths.

He started walking towards her two seconds after she started walking his way. 100 paces.

But maybe it was better if he just went right past her, not even crossing her path. He'd seen her. That was all he wanted. Just to be near her again. He wanted even more for her to be happy and she'd be happier in the life she had without him holding her back, right? She deserved more than he could give her. He couldn't give her a life without collateral damage, a life free of heartache and broken memories and loss…a life with a family in it.

75 paces.

But she also deserved someone who genuinely loved her, not for being Commander Shepard but just for being Echo. He loved everything about her and she had confessed she loved him. How likely was it for her to find that with anyone else? Species aside, they were meant for each other in the old days. He could remind her of that. All he had to do was get closer.

50 paces.

No. The galaxy was a big place and she was the kind of human people couldn't help but love. As soon as she found a nice human male who cared the least about her for who she was, she'd win him over and be better off for it. That was what she needed. Not some turian who would only bring back memories of pain and misery and lost friends and even her own death, which they had discovered, by losing her memories of Miranda, she was blissfully vague about.

25 paces.

But she'd told him that she didn't care about the cost as long as he was there, that he made all the insanity and violence worth it, that he made life better for her. Surely that'd still be true.

20 paces.

Then again, they both knew he wasn't cut out for this kind of a relationship. He was born and bred a fighter. He might have helped the worst of it during the war, but he had recently learned he wasn't exactly at his best during peacetime. With no Reapers to take out their worries on, how was he supposed to aid the pain he'd bring back?

15 paces.

Maybe he was overthinking this, though. There was no reason he couldn't just be there for her. There was no guarantee being around him would ever even bring the memories back.

10 paces.

But there was no guarantee it wouldn't, was there?

9 paces.

Well, what if she didn't care? What if she would just be happy to have a chance at the ending they planned for, her grief spent on the years it couldn't weigh her down? What if this was his one chance and he walked away again?

8 paces.

Or what if those memories were just gone forever? What if he tried to bring her back after all only to drive her away for good because the Shepard he knew was lost, never to return? Could he take it to lose all hope now?

7 paces.

No, "what ifs" were pointless! He had to think of what he _knew_ would happen. What he knew for certain was that, if she was truly still the same Echo Shepard underneath it all, she would still love him no matter what he did.

6 paces.

But wasn't that the reason he left? He already knew she loved him and he would always know that. He didn't reassurance, he needed to protect her. That was why he'd left, he was trying to give her the chance at more than just a hopeless love. She already had that chance. He couldn't just take it away.

5 paces.

He couldn't just convince himself that's what he would be doing, either. He didn't know _anything _for certain anymore. There was no certainty at a time like this. Shouldn't that be enough that he could put aside the worries and the doubts and just take a leap of faith? She had always been pushing him to do that, to stand up for what he believed in. She was what he believed in, so she should be what mattered.

4 paces.

She _was _what mattered, though. That was the point of all this. She'd be happier with someone who could give her _everything_. What could he give her? He had to think straight. He had to think of her. He had to at least stop making those two things mutually exclusive!

3 paces.

This was it. She was so close. He had to make his move _now_ if he was going to make one at all.

2 paces.

She was a risk he was willing to take.

1 pace.

…but he would never, even at the cost of the rest of the galaxy, risk _her_.

So he walked right past her. And he didn't look back.

Echo Shepard barely took notice. She had come on business and she was intent to take care of it. But years of military training after 15 years on the streets would instill on anyone the ability to discern when someone's attention is on them. She shrugged it off at first. She was used to attention, given all the "war hero" notice she received. But she couldn't shake the feeling that this time was different, that the eyes focused on her were focused on an entirely different side of her. And she couldn't help but notice that this particular attention had started out in front of her and was now behind. Suddenly, she stopped walking. Curious, she turned to see who had just walked past her.

Garrus just kept walking. It was done. He'd seen her and now she was gone. Nothing more to it.

"Excuse me." Someone came up behind him and put their hand on his shoulder, halting his steps. He turned to see who was there. …he found himself face to face with _her_. She hesitated to speak up for a moment, seeming to look him over in a way that made him tense up. Her original question slowly faded away as a new idea raced through her brain and demanded to be addressed. "Have we met before?"

He couldn't help the way his heart leaped at the sound of her voice once again directed at him. But he forced himself not to make this reaction visible. This was exactly what he'd been trying to avoid so he had no idea how to handle it. _Just say something and get out. __Fast__._ "…no, I don't believe we have." It wasn't a lie. Not really. This Shepard wasn't the same one he'd known. _That_ Shepard was gone for good.

Still, she felt oddly disappointed. The idea pounding through her mind withdrew, but the question and its answer left her wondering all the more. "Oh. I'm sorry, you just seem really familiar." She elected not to mention that she'd felt like he was watching her. She'd been getting fairly antsy with no battles to fight, so she had likely imagined it.

He shrugged off her comment, anxious not to let anything on. "Guess I'm just one of those turians." He kind of regretted those words. He knew Shepard wasn't one of those humans who disregarded turians enough to confuse them for each other—she was more attentive than that if nothing else. He didn't want to insult her.

She even shrunk back in response. But it wasn't as much because she took offense to it as that it felt wrong somehow. "Right. I, uh…I better go. I'm headed to see Primarch Victus."

At first, he simply watched mournfully as she walked away. Then her words sunk in and amazement overtook his inner turmoil. Curiosity overwhelmed his sense of logic now, and the detective lingering inside him from his C-Sec days demanded answers. So he followed her just long enough to ask "Why are you seeing the Primarch?"

"Believe it or not, because of an asari. A friend of mine works with the Matriarchs and she's discussing trade routes with the Primarch. Human interests came into the conversation, so she suggested the Alliance's 'specialist in military diplomacy' help out. For some reason, she called me instead."

Garrus smirked at the comment. For a moment, he simply reveled in the feeling of "just like old times" as he remembered her habit of making jokes about her own abilities even though they all knew she had enough confidence under it all to throw a small moon out of orbit. When he slipped from his reverie for a moment, though, he truly put two and two together. And realized the real reason Liara had known to send him the message that led him here. "Wait…is your friend Liara T'Soni?"

Echo looked at him in shock. "Yeah. You know her?"

He smiled. "Yeah. We go way back."

She smiled back. "Wow. Small galaxy."

After three years of thinking it was a bit too big, he couldn't deny the irony in that statement. "Guess so." Now that she was here, he realized there might actually be a chance at having some more time with her without jeopardizing what he'd worked so hard for so long for. His sense of logic and even his protective instincts were still repeating their insistence that he leave it at that and get gone, but he was committed now. She didn't suspect anything yet. Five more minutes wouldn't hurt a thing. "I know the way really well, I could help you get there."

She nodded. "Alright. Lead on." She held out her hand to him. "I'm Echo, by the way."

He took it gladly. "Garrus."


	6. Enclosing

Chapter 6: Enclosing

Garrus was very careful in how he handled this delicate situation. He watched Echo's every move (not Shepard, "Shepard" was the _old_ Shepard) for some sign that he needed to distance himself or risk undoing the whole reason he hadn't spent the past three years at her side. With every step they took with no sign of recollection, he slowly began to relax, simply enjoying the fact that she was next to him again.

After a few minutes, she noticed the uncomfortable silence between them and resolved to break it. She asked him what his job was, he told her he was advisor to the Primarch—absolute honesty because it shouldn't make a difference. She asked how he knew Liara, he told her they had run into each other on the Citadel when he was C-Sec and had been correspondents in the days leading up to the war—slight twists in the way things had lined up but still technically true.

But then she asked why he'd been at the transport station.

He hesitated to answer that one. Even with their current complicated status, he refused to lie to Echo Shepard, which made navigating this particular puzzle difficult. Finally, he resorted to the simple but vague answer of "seeing off an old friend." She noticed the hesitation and the sidestepping, obviously, but she didn't press him. She could see he didn't want to be interrogated on this specific topic and she was understanding like that. So she stopped asking questions and kept walking, letting him guide her in pensive silence until they came to the city center (pensive silence was at least better than uncomfortable silence, after all, so she'd still done her part).

"So," she spoke up as they came to the building currently acting as Palaven Command, "you work here? With the Primarch and the other turians in charge?"

"Sort of," he shrugged as he made his way to the door.

She shook her head as she followed him. "What are the odds that, of all the people in this great big city, I'd run into a chief advisor?"

He smirked. "Probably about as high as me running into Commander Shepard in a Palaven transit station."

She gave him a pointed look. "People have been a bit reluctant to start any wars after the whole Reaper crisis, in case you haven't noticed. This is a lot of what I've been doing. If I'm being honest, it's getting a bit boring."

"Don't tell me you miss getting shot at 24/7."

She scoffed. "You're a turian. Don't you?"

"Alright, that's a stereotype. …but, sometimes, yeah." He hated to admit it. Partially because half the reason he sometimes missed it was because he missed going into battle at _her_ side, not that he was in any position to tell her that. So he instead dismissed the conversation and opened the entrance to let her in.

"So this is the place," she observed as she walked in ahead of him.

"This is it," he affirmed, leading her to the elevator, "Primarch Victus works on the top floor." As he got on with her, he realized that was where they would be parting ways. He worked one floor below. He looked over at Echo as the doors closed, sad to see her go but knowing it would be for the best. This was a memory he would hold onto, certainly, but he had to stay away for her own good, whether she knew the difference or not. When the doors finally opened, he hesitated to step off.

"Your stop, I take it?" she sighed.

He nodded, pushing himself to go.

"Nice meeting you, Garrus."

He smiled for her one last time before walking away. He didn't trust himself to say goodbye. He just watched her fade from view as the doors closed and took her out of sight. He sighed sadly before turning to make his way to his office. Twice now he'd had her within reach and simply walked away. It didn't get easier. It didn't get more painful either, thankfully. It occurred to him that he was doing this so she could move on but he couldn't imagine how long it would take _him_ to do that. He wondered if he ever could. There was only one Echo Shepard.

Well, technically, there were two in his mind. One of them was only in his mind now. The other just disappeared. Now he just had to hope he wouldn't run into her again and make it harder on them both. They'd been through enough.

While Garrus was setting to work, Echo arrived on the top floor. The turians kept everything organized so it didn't take her long to locate the Primarch's office. Since she was expected, it also didn't take long for her to be accepted in.

"Commander Shepard," a certain older turian spoke up as she walked into the room and let the door close behind her, "it's good to see you."

"Primarch Victus, I take it," Echo smiled, holding her hand out, "It's nice to meet you."

"Actually, Commander," Victus said even as he shook her hand, "we've met before."

She gave him a puzzled look. "We have?" Then she realized what he meant. "Oh! During the war?"

"Yes. You were the one who found me on Menae and told me I was the Primarch so I could help secure help for both our home-worlds."

"Ah. That I think I _should_ remember…"

"I heard about what happened after you activated the Crucible. I understand."

"No, really, I remember _what_ happened, it's just all a bit foggy. It's with the names and faces that everything goes out the window."

"Yes, well, we weren't acquainted very long."

She nodded. "Guess we should rectify that now."

He agreed. "It seems we will. I'm not sure how long these deliberations will take."

"Probably quite a while," she sighed as they took their seats, "Negotiating trade routes as a third party isn't exactly my specialty."

"Honestly, it's not mine either. We're both suited to military life. Reconstruction doesn't really play to our strengths."

"Well, we serve in the military for the good of our people—we go where we're needed and we do what we can to help them. Sniping down husks and settling territory disputes have at least that much in common for us."

Victus smiled. "Well said, Commander. It's good to see a little memory loss hasn't changed you that much."

She nearly smiled back but sullenly withdrew. "It's nice to hear that from someone. Though I guess the Alliance agrees or they wouldn't have let me get involved in something this sensitive."

"Sensitive? It's hardly a matter of life and death."

"With all due respect, Primarch, I saw the refugees at the city outskirts and the leveled villages when I was on the way in. Most of Earth and Thessia are still that torn up, too. I realize looks are deceiving and all three of our species are pretty tough, but until our worlds are a bit closer to fully restored, it seems awfully life or death to me."

Wisely, he elected to consent. "Then I suppose we should get started."

The day passed by quietly. Echo and Victus had no illusions of their business being concluded so easily and made arrangements for Echo to stay nearby for the next several days. Negotiating between three different governments, especially when Echo was technically a go-between for the Alliance Parliament (which was already extremely occupied with reconstructing its own government as well as its formerly occupied worlds), was no simple task. Still, as they had established, there were countless refugees whose lives would be eased when this was taken care of, so they kept at it in the hopes the rest would go as smoothly as this was proving to.

Garrus, meanwhile, was too unsettled to focus on anything put before him. He would be a bit concerned with Echo spending the whole day with someone who had met her entire crew during the war, but he had been working very closely with Victus for the past three years and the Primarch had been more than observant enough to pick up on what Shepard had meant to him. He'd heard the whole story, so he'd know not to say anything, especially if he was already in contact with Liara on this matter they were discussing. Problem solved. Then again, this matter they were discussing was also a difficult-to-maneuver one, which meant Echo would be spending a lot of time in the same building as him for what could amount to weeks. Avoiding her under those circumstances was going to be difficult. He could just work from home until he received word she was headed back to Earth, but he'd still know she was there and today had proven he didn't have much self-control when it came to being in close proximity to Echo Shepard. Problem not solved. Problem elevated.

_Now_ he was wishing he hadn't bothered going to see her at the transit station.

No, wait. Then he just would have run into her _here_.

Why couldn't Liara's message have just said "Take a break on the Citadel for a while, you're not gonna want to be on Palaven right now"?

He finally resorted to dropping his work entirely and slamming his head on his desk. This was not what he had pictured when he first heard someone say love was hard.

Once he pulled himself together, he glanced out the nearest window. Trebia was setting now, night fast approaching. Usually, when things were tough for him, he would throw himself into work and stay late until his mind was off whatever was bothering him. Now, with the thing that was bothering him literally directly over his head, he was more concerned with getting out of the building as soon as possible. He'd been in the office precisely three hours and twelve minutes when he gathered his things and started to go home.

As he rode the elevator down in silence, he felt the weight of the day's events bearing down on him. He'd almost forgotten how much of an effect just the sight of her could have on him. All he'd done by chasing after her like this was proven to himself how much he loved and needed her. And he had simply walked out of her life again. What kind of cruel fate was it that giving her what she most deserved meant he couldn't be with her? It was like he was being punished. Though it was his decision to take it this far, so that logic meant he was only punishing himself.

He sighed sorrowfully as he stepped off the elevator and reentered the main hall of the building. For a moment, he simply leaned against a nearby wall and attempted to calm himself. He kept reminding himself that he was doing this for her. The right way, not the easy way; if you love someone, set them free. He had to stop beating himself up about this and let her go. Not that Echo Shepard was someone you ever just let go of, but he had to try. All he had to do was stay away, not drive himself crazy pining after the one he could never have again. Time to move on. Not exactly the conclusion he thought he'd reach from seeing her again, but it was the only option remaining to him. He could start by distancing himself yet again.

So Garrus turned to the door and started to head out.

"Hey, wait up!"

The sound of her voice made him freeze. Every fiber of his being was screaming to move, but it was as if his feet were suddenly nailed to the floor. Expecting the worst, he turned.

Echo was rushing over. "Leaving so soon?"

For once in his life, he wished desperately that he was half as good at talking his way out of trouble as she was. "I…well, my part in all that was pretty much taken care of, so I was just going to slip away."

She responded with a snarky look that he struggled not to laugh at. "You don't strike me as the sneaky type."

He shook his head, folding his arms at her. "As a sniper, I take offense to that."

She kept up her playful air, but the look in her eyes did seem the least bit concerned that he meant his retort. She didn't want to insult him, she just wanted to…well… "Allow me to make it up to you?"

He sincerely hoped she couldn't tell that he was tensing up at the thought of what she could mean. "How so?"

"Well, I don't know how long I'm gonna be here and Liara is extremely busy, so it'd be nice to have someone to talk to. We seemed to get along well enough on the way here and…" She apparently recognized that he was, in fact, growing tenser with every word she said, though his conflicting emotions served to mask why well enough. "I mean, if you're busy, I totally get it. I just…could we at least swap extranet addresses? If nothing else, I might need a navigator."

Garrus had been considering how to let her down easy until she made this suggestion. At first, he was struck by how she truly seemed lonely. Had no one but Liara stepped in after the rest of the squad left for her sake? Was it just her? How could anyone spend five seconds with _Echo Shepard_ of all people and not want to get closer to her? Was it just that she had thrown herself into work while she could and then isolated herself after she started getting pushed into the role that had sent her here? That had to be the answer because the alternative was threatening to undo his efforts to convince himself that he had actually done the right thing by walking away three years ago.

But then something else occurred to him. Just swapping extranet addresses. Just messaging. Nice, simple messaging with no physical contact. That…that was the ideal solution, it had to be! If he wasn't actually there, he couldn't be the reminder that tipped her over the edge. He could still talk to her, have her back in his life, without risking the peace he'd sacrificed so much to give to her. It would certainly be a lot easier to maneuver conversations without having to lie about something or accidentally mentioning a memory she no longer had. The idea that she would call him out to show her around again was an issue, but he could handle that much—he had handled bringing her here, hadn't he? Yes, this was it. This was worth whatever Liara had gotten them into.

"No, that's not a problem," Garrus finally answered.

Echo smiled. "OK."

So he quickly made the exchange (suddenly thankful that the omni-tool she'd had on when she went to the Crucible had been destroyed in the explosion and she couldn't see his name and address in a previous record) and left the building with a sense of elation he hadn't had the capacity for in three years. He'd never dreamed there was a way around the corner he'd backed himself into. Inwardly, he was kicking himself for not thinking of this solution earlier since it seemed so obvious now. It would be a lot easier to handle the distance now there was a way to bridge the gap without getting too close. He could once again talk to the woman he loved and that was enough to banish his every regret.

He had just gotten home and locked up for the night when his omni-tool beeped. Excitement and anticipation racing through him, he turned to open the message.

Always nice to make a new friend.

He couldn't help smiling. Some part of him did take the time to remember the first time she'd claimed him as a friend, just after Noveria, but most of him was too focused on this new gift she had unknowingly given him to care. He had her back. Even if it was just as a friend, it was her. This was more than he'd dared to hope for when he had gone to see her that morning. It was enough that he felt like the past three years were worth it. Maybe this was all he needed to truly let go, just to have something besides longing memories to hold onto.

He'd always love her. He knew that. But moving on would be a lot simpler of a matter if he was in contact with her, if we was hearing from her when she found someone new and made a life for herself without the memories that she'd long since learned to live without. She'd always been a friend first for him, so he wasn't truly losing anything. This was what he'd been needing all this time. The promises they made in London would stay a far-off dream, but he'd know that Echo was out there for him whenever he needed her. He might one day wish for more, but he knew deep down that this was enough.

With a sigh somewhere between happiness and contentment, he sent his reply.

Couldn't have said it better myself.


	7. Resonance

Chapter 7: Resonance

Two days passed, the two of them slowly building a friendship while maintaining a comfortable distance. With this new connection to lean on, Garrus was able to convince himself to work from home until she was ready to go back to Earth. So far, Echo had made no requests to physically see him again, so he was allowing a few small hopes to creep in that her eventual departure would not come as a blow to him and the messages would remain enough.

In fact, Echo was keeping herself busy with Primarch Victus and communications with the asari and the Alliance, so her messaging with Garrus was her only time not spent embroiled in trade route deliberations that she hoped would be over soon. Those hopes rose slightly at the end of day three when she saw they were making real progress. It still wasn't going to be finished any time soon—restoring a centuries old system after it was demolished by invasion was no simple process—but it was definitely going to be finished. So she was a bit shocked when Victus told her they would be skipping day four.

"Why?" she asked, curiosity and concern at play in equal measure.

"I'm leaving the city for the day," Victus answered, "checking on how soon we can finalize the repairs to one of the outer villages."

"Sounds important, yeah, but why can't it wait?"

He hesitated to answer, making it clear to her this was a personal issue even before he explained: "Tomorrow is the anniversary of my son Tarquin's birth. The village I'm checking in on is the one he was born in."

She was prepared to question if his son would be going with him when she noticed the grief behind his eyes. She sighed sadly as she realized what the reason must be. "He died in the war?"

He nodded. "Fighting Cerberus on Tuchanka."

"I'm sorry."

He had heard enough condolences in his time to wave off the meager words, but the source of this offer drew an ironic smirk to emerge instead. "You were there."

She gave him a shocked look but said nothing.

"He had crashed in Reaper territory and you pulled him out, helped him on the mission. You were holding off Cerberus forces when it happened. You tried to help but there was nothing to be done."

She was speechless for once. She remembered the events of the war more or less clearly, so she knew she had been involved in disabling a bomb Cerberus was arming on Tuchanka, but she hadn't remembered anything about who was there. Searching what little memory she had of that particular mission, she did recall that a turian had led her there. She did not, however, remember his name, face, or ultimate fate. Even hearing it now didn't restore any of it, simply informed her what it was she was missing. "I, uh…I'm actually kind of glad I don't remember that part. But I do wish I remembered him."

Victus accepted this condolence with no irony attached. "I've made a few wishes of my own." With a sigh, he turned to show her out. "I'll see you when I return, Commander."

Echo gave a small nod before walking out. As she left the building, she kept in mind what she'd been told of Tarquin Victus.

The place she was staying was on the same block, so she had learned the path to her accommodations quite rapidly. Once she was sure the way was clear, she barely paid attention to her destination as she approached, still focused on what Victus had said. No matter how much she insisted that she remembered the events of her fractured three years well enough, anyone she spoke to insisted on reminding her of what she'd done. This was the first she'd heard of someone she'd done it with, the true loss she suffered. In the past three years, she had gone so far as to request personnel records from the _Normandy_, but all she received was some longwinded story about how the computers had been damaged in the Crucible's shockwave and not all of the Alliance's public records on the ship's servicemen were accurate because not all of the servicemen had been Alliance and blah, blah, blah. So instead of awkwardly attempting to reestablish contact with some former crewmates that she wouldn't even recognize and didn't even know if she'd been close to in the first place, she was left struggling for the slightest recollection of her own. She'd given up on ever recovering fully almost two years ago, but anything she could hear, anything she could decipher to bridge the gap left by the memories she'd lost, she'd take.

When she was safely in her temporary quarters, she reached into her pack and pulled out one of the few possessions she constantly kept close. Most people used their omni-tool to keep track of their private data these days and, as a technical expert, she had been no exception for most of her life, but after losing her original omni-tool and all its information in the Crucible blast, she preferred to keep her important records in a place she could constantly ensure would be secure. Add on her younger years' reliance on whatever she could conveniently find rather than what was most useful and it was only natural she'd resort to using a notebook and pencil for something this important. Flipping through the pages, she could see all the notes she'd made. Scraps of the memories she had lost would occasionally reveal themselves, but they were always gone so suddenly that she could never retain them; instead of grasping at thin air, she had started writing down the flashes before they dissipated. It was never anything important, just a sentence or an image, but it was something. Now, for the first time, she could write down a full memory, albeit one she had mixed feelings about ever regaining.

If that was how the entire war went for her and the people she fought beside, it was no wonder everyone shied away from giving her details.

With a sigh, she set aside the notebook and went to turn in for the night. It occurred to her as she lied there that she would have the whole next day to herself. She would normally have elected to spend a day like that out sightseeing, but she had the feeling that Palaven wasn't yet in a fit state for tourists and she'd already seen most of Cipritine. Before she finally faded to sleep, she set aside the matter as a concern for the morning. Her last sight before dreams claimed her was of the stars outside the window…stars she once called home…

…_stars that beckoned as she drifted through endless space. Not endless enough with that large blue rock pulling her in. Metal shards and broken glass floating past her. Silence and drumbeats as her heart spiked and her lungs shuddered. Heat and suffocation overwhelming as blackness slipped in—_

_"Wake up, Commander!"_

She woke up as if the demand had been real, jumping so sharply that she nearly fell out of the bed. For a moment, she focused on catching her breath, glancing out the window again to see the stars in the far-off sky where they belonged, calming the fiery panic within her. She almost started to reach for her notebook but stopped herself just as fast. That might have just been a nightmare, in which case there was no sense in writing it down. Even if it was a true memory…that wasn't one she wanted to relive any time soon.

Once she calmed down, she started looking for a way to distract herself until she felt she could try to get more sleep. Standing up to properly look through the window, she found that Cipritine looked different at night, though the silver shades the planet was known for were only exaggerated by the light of its moons. Even with the reconstruction ongoing, she had admired the planet from the first time she laid eyes on it (well, the first time up close, she had seen it in the distance when she'd been on Menae—not that that counted since it was during the war when everything was on fire), much like she'd always admired the turians, for their tenacity if not for their ferocity—a view most humans hadn't exactly shared for nearly 30 years. It was a shame so much of it was still recovering, though Victus' news made it sound like that would be slightly alleviated before long.

That particular thought brought to mind a new use for her free day. It was a welcome idea at first, finding a use for her "heroic" status, and it was hardly the first time she'd thought about it, but she still felt compelled to shrug it off. She didn't see how she could do much to help the current situation, limited as she was these days. Shaking her head at her own restrictions, she sat down and instead began to flip through her notebook. At first, she was simply trying to find something else to dwell on until she felt like she could ever sleep again, having long since concluded that reading these notes wasn't going to jumpstart any recollections. But when she came to one specific note, she froze completely.

It was one sentence. Something she'd heard someone say, probably during the war. She had no idea who'd said it, but it had stuck with her long enough to gain a place of prominence in her notes of what now seemed like a past life. It leapt out of the page to address her directly now.

_"Like it or not, you're a hero to these men and women; don't discount the effect that can have on them."_

For the next several minutes, she sat there in silence, pondering these words. When she was convinced what she had to do, she set aside the notebook, checked to make sure she had what she needed, and settled back in for a second attempt at a full night's rest. She had the feeling she was going to need it.

_The next morning…_

Garrus was waking up more easily these days. The dreams of unreciprocated memories were far less painful now that he had something else to hold onto. This lonely house suddenly seemed like it was accepting sunlight through the windows for the first time. It was strange that his life changed so little in response to its latest development, but he was content with what few changes were made.

As dawn faded to morning, he leaned against a wall and looked out the window at the horizon. The crater outside the city was a reminder of what they'd lost, of the city this new capital was a wistful reflection of. Without giving it much thought, he made his way outside and went to sit on the edge of the basin, breathing deep the heated air of his home-world and scouring the distance for a view of the few oases that the Reapers hadn't razed. It had been so long since he truly appreciated Palaven's landscape. It was scarred now, but like its people, it was stronger for it.

Suddenly, his omni-tool beeped with a new message. He checked the sender, smiling when he saw it was from Echo, and opened it.

Which way is it to the refugee camps?

Confusion pushed aside his elation and reverie. He quickly typed up a reply.

They're pretty much all around the city until the other settlements are fully restored. Why do you want to know?

With every second that ticked by without an answer, he found his confusion growing. Impatience at having some response to ease this nearly drew him to attempt tapping his foot like she'd always done when she was waiting anxiously, but he dismissed that idea upon consideration that his foot structure was dissimilar enough to make that difficult. A response finally came, one he opened without a second's hesitation.

Just war hero stuff. I'll let you know how it goes if it works out.

Well, that didn't answer much.

What business could she possibly have at the refugee camp? Did she know someone there? No, then she wouldn't have had to ask _him_ for directions. If she was wanting to offer help with the reconstruction in some way, she was headed to the wrong place. They couldn't be in need of her technical skills, they had plenty of specialists of their own. She never did anything like this without some motive for the benefit of all others involved but herself, so she must be trying to help somehow. He also knew her typical plan resulted in explosions and gunfire and possibly a couple hacked mechs, so he had long since determined it was pointless to try following her reasoning. What could she be up to now?

_If this is gonna bother me so much, I'll just have to find out for myself._ Against his better judgment, he used his omni-tool to ping her COMM. Then he started following the trail.

He found her just outside her temporary quarters as she started on her way through the city. He followed at a discreet distance, careful not to accidentally set off her uncanny instincts for being shadowed. He occasionally slipped behind buildings to take back routes when he thought he was getting too close, his knowledge of her eventual destination serving to keep him from losing track of her and having to chance a second ping on her COMM that someone of her technological prowess would undoubtedly notice. He did notice she was moving with purpose but still seemed uncertain, something that only heightened his confusion. It didn't take long for him to find a place to stop following and switch to watching and waiting for answers.

Echo stopped as she came upon the camp. For a moment, she leaned against a wall and simply looked out at it. It wasn't near as bleak and miserable as the dark, crowded, hopeless docking bay on the Citadel had been (not that she really remembered that all too clearly), but it was still a sad sight to see so many turian families out in tents and pods, just trying to get by until they had real homes to go back to. The Reapers had taken so much from them. But turians were some of the most resilient people in the galaxy. Their survival had been a victory unto itself. There was no surrender to despair in the face of that victory.

Not to say there wasn't some disquiet amongst the numbers of civilians and disabled former soldiers that surrounded the capital, not-so-patiently waiting to return to the lives that the invaders stole from them. It was this disquiet that Echo sympathized with, sighed for, and looked sadly upon. It was this disquiet that had brought her here.

So she stepped out and approached the camp.

She did not even need to make her presence known before she was noticed. Seeing a human in this area was rare enough to draw attention. It did not take long for those who saw her to realize which human she was.

"Commander Shepard?" one turian woman finally stood up.

Echo nearly felt the need to withdraw, but she reminded herself this was why she came and stood firm. Never underestimate the power of seeing a hero, even if they refused to call themselves one. "Yeah, that's me."

"Commander, it's an honor. You saved us all."

"So I've heard."

Just like that, she was slowly bombarded by displaced turians who felt the need to thank her in person for ending the war before the galaxy was irreparably extinguished. If there was one thing all turians respected, it was a strong leader, and she had led the entire galaxy to victory against a force that, had they remained separated, would have been their end. The more she was approached and lauded, the more she began to appreciate that she really was a hero, like it or not. After all, a hero doesn't just run into the fire and save lives, they come back from their failures and stand with those left behind.

Just as word seemed to reach the entirety of the camp that the great Commander Shepard was present, she caught sight of a small turian girl sitting by a tent and keeping to herself. She seemed quiet and withdrawn, like she would rather face the world alone than hear someone tell her "it'll be alright" when they couldn't guarantee that. Echo couldn't help but think that she had been that lost little girl once. With a somber smile, she went to sit beside the girl. "Are you alone?"

The girl didn't even face her. Echo had enough experience with this type of thing to know that was answer enough. War orphan, then. Not likely to make much in the way of conversation.

"I was, too, once." For a moment, she sat there, joining the girl in silence, knowing better than to say anything. She was just there, a kindred spirit to a lost child in a time of uncertainty. After that moment was over, the girl seemed to loosen up slightly, like she thought she could trust the strange human. Echo, seeing this, proceeded to reach into her pack and pull out a stuffed elephant toy. "I had something like this when I was your age. For a while, it was my only friend, kept me going when times got hard." She handed it over, enjoying the wide-eyed look of gratitude she received as the girl held the toy tight. "I mean, it's an Earth animal, but still. You'd be surprised what little things can make all the difference."

The girl answered with a smile. This meant far more than any undue words of "comfort" that had been thrust upon her since the war. It was astonishing to consider, but it seemed that this alien soldier knew better what was needed than any turian ever could.

Garrus watched the whole scene in amazement from behind the nearest wall. It was when he saw this particular exchange that he realized something. Echo had been planning this since before she even arrived on Palaven. The uncertainty he'd seen in her had been from wondering if what she was planning would be enough, which, it was now clear, it had been. She always needed to help, always searching for ways around when it seemed like there was nothing she could do. Always saying one small moment in one lonely life could make all the difference in the universe.

She had changed so much, but her heart was the same. Always thinking of everyone else.

Garrus continued to watch as she spent the next hour doing little tasks for the refugees that, during the war, would have been considered morale-boosting. What started as giving a toy to a little girl (which was still being held tight and clearly would be for many years) spread to conversations about how things would improve once the next village was restored, stories of what she remembered of her exploits against the Reapers, and fixing all the broken equipment she could persuade access to, from guns to fabricators. After growing up a scavenger and enlisting as an engineer, there was nothing she couldn't fix, and she did try to fix _everything_ she came across because "I'm hard-wired to deal with broken things." Remembering that quote drew him to smirk to himself as his response returned to mind—"Is that why you find me so fascinating?" Rather than losing himself to the memory of her answer, though, he focused on what was happening now. This was Echo being herself for complete strangers just to help what she couldn't fix by winning the war. It was certainly hope-restoring.

It also reminded him why he loved her so much.

That thought flushed all the happiness from his body. Because he loved her, he had walked out on her. Now she was finding a new purpose in life that didn't require his presence. All he was doing by watching her now was assuring himself that he had done the right thing by letting her go. The galaxy still needed her, just not the way it used to. Not like he had.

With a sigh, he turned to head home. He'd seen all he needed to.

But he didn't notice that, as he turned to go, Echo happened to look up and catch movement. It only took two confused seconds for her to realize who was there and why. Smiling softly to herself, she finished what she had come to do and began to head back to her temporary quarters. As she made her way through the city, she pondered two things: if her actions today had truly made a difference for those lost out there and the mystery of Garrus Vakarian.


	8. Amendment

Chapter 8: Amendment

The topic of the refugee camp did not come up again, but there was no denying that the tone of their correspondence had changed since that day. With every message they exchanged, Echo came to enjoy it more and more when she saw his name light up her omni-tool. It was strange to forge such a close relationship with an alien, but when they talked, all that mattered was who they were, not what they were. Perhaps that was part of why she liked it so much, because he didn't just immediately treat her like Commander Shepard but instead got to know her as Echo.

Also because she had been getting to know him. And she'd found she liked him as much as she liked talking to him. Which was quite a substantial amount.

She'd never thought she'd be close to a turian. She had admired them as a whole, sure, but they had always individually seemed too martial and unapproachable to be considered friend material. This one wasn't like the rest, though he still embodied their best qualities. He was brave and selfless and caring and loyal and humorous and determined. He'd told her he was a sniper during the war and she could just picture his strength and cunning in battle and the rage and grief he must have felt when Palaven fell. In a strange way, she felt like she knew him, though they had only met less than a week ago.

She also knew she wasn't thinking about him the same way anymore.

She practically wanted to punch herself for letting it get _that_ far. She had changed during the war and then changed even more from losing her memories of who had been with her through it all, but since when had she started looking at non-humans as date-worthy? She hadn't even looked at asari that way, let alone turians. She just kept coming back to the thought of _This one is different. _She had been guarding herself for so long that she hadn't even acted on what few feelings she may have had for the odd human male she had met and now…what? A turian she barely knew exchanged a few messages and suddenly she was tempted to outright let her walls down?

_This one is different_ jumped out at her again, more insistent this time. No human male had ever made her happy just by being there or found value in a side of herself she rarely showed. Yes, she barely knew him. But she knew him enough to know he was someone she could trust. Even with this.

Echo sat there in her temporary quarters, looking in the mirror as she mulled over her feelings. That was something she wasn't used to doing. Her feelings hadn't exactly been her most important aspect in recent years and she had become accustomed to pushing them aside in regards to her moderate case of amnesia. She had never even considered a committed relationship with someone else before, so these particular feelings were a lot harder to process. The mere fact that she had never considered something like this before should be enough to dissuade her from rushing into it with someone who would likely have completely different standards. But she'd always been a bit impatient. Why should this time be any different?

There was something about this turian that she couldn't ignore. It wasn't just that he was being so kind to her. It wasn't just those traits she'd first been drawn to. It wasn't even how he made her feel inside when he was around her or sent her a message. It was the uncertainty in the way he approached her. It was the way he saw how she was feeling before she even said anything. He was even strangely attractive for a turian, scars and all. All of it was getting to her in a way she couldn't explain. And didn't know what to make of.

She sighed, sitting back and trying not to sulk. There was no point in thinking about it this way. He was still a turian and she was still a human. Even if he found her the least bit attractive despite the species barrier, would he ever take interest in someone so broken? People hadn't looked at her the same way since her memories had been lost (well, she assumed they didn't, she only had vague recollections of how she'd been perceived before). She had given up hope on getting them back two years ago, eventually realizing that she didn't even miss them because how can you miss something if you don't know what it is? But if she tied herself down with someone, she was saddling them with the responsibility of filling in blanks she didn't even have a context for. If she liked someone, she didn't want to put them through that.

So what should she do here? Just give up on the whole thing? Pretend she felt nothing and return to the messages like she was still just looking for a friend? Drop subtle hints to probe his openness to the concept like a clueless teen in an old vid?

No. She had a philosophy when it came to multiple choices in life quandaries: "The correct answer is always D—none of the above, just screw it and take the plunge." So she took a deep breath, tossed aside her cares for a moment, and in that brief moment, typed up and sent the message that would make or break it all.

Let it never be said that Echo Shepard was not a risk-taker. It was how she beat the Reapers, after all. That much she knew, if only because she didn't need her lost memories to know with her whole heart exactly who she was.

_Meanwhile…_

In light of his frequent messaging with Echo, it occurred to Garrus that he should probably talk more to his former squad-mates.

That notion was immediately shoved into a box, locked up with chains, thrown into a corner, and crushed with a rock.

He had gone three years with minimal contact with any of them. If he suddenly started making regular calls after news of Echo's visit to Palaven presumably spread across the known galaxy, they'd start asking questions. He couldn't hide from them all that something was different and he was _not_ telling them that he had technically broken the unspoken pact between them to stay away from Shepard. They were usually pretty civil when it came to matters like this, but he doubted they would take the time to listen to his attempts to explain that he was keeping it, permanently if possible, nothing more than extranet messages. Likely wouldn't make a difference if they did listen, since none of them could agree on how much contact would be a detriment to the aforementioned unspoken pact. He knew good and well they wouldn't exactly be happy—Jack would probably fly across six nebulas from Grissom Academy to personally shatter every bone in his body, Ashley would yell at him with all the ferocity required to shatter those bones twice over with no physical contact whatsoever, and Tali…well, he had no idea how Tali would respond, but every attempt to guess at her reaction involved her hanging up and never talking to him again, which was possibly the worst of them all. No, his previous efforts to stay away from Shepard at all costs would now have to be reserved for maintaining the comfortable silence between the former _Normandy_ crewmen. He would eventually have to break it to Liara, if only because she was still the Shadow Broker and likely already had some idea, and he couldn't stomach the idea of keeping such a big secret from Tali forever, but it was probably wise to not initiate anything until he knew exactly how this was going to end.

Though, knowing his luck, one of them would call or write in the next five minutes specifically to ask about this issue.

That was when Garrus' omni-tool beeped. He turned to check it, fully expecting to see that Liara had finally sent him a message to ask how he was doing after the recent arrival in his city.

But it was from Echo.

Unable to stop himself (not that he wanted to), he opened the message.

Would you like to spend some time together? Alone?

He suddenly learned what humans meant when they said they felt their stomach drop. His breathing was suddenly so strained and disjointed that he was nearly hyperventilating. Or not breathing at all. Hard to tell the difference at a time like this.

She was asking him out on a date. That wasn't good.

His mind was racing to formulate a response. Part of him even considered erasing the message and pretending none of this had happened, that his momentary lapse from the plan was just an incident to forget. But she deserved an answer. So he had to come up with one.

Which was no easy task.

Inside, he was killing himself over this. He had been so focused on keeping his own distance that he hadn't even considered she might make the first move. Looking back, he should have known she would since that was how it went the first time. _No! Don't think of the first time! The first time is what you're trying _not_ to repeat!_ That was easier said than done. With the same choice before him as the one that had brought him so close to her to begin with, he couldn't help but think that this might end the same way. He couldn't deny that he longed to hold her, to give himself to her completely, to be there for her when she needed more than just a friend, to kiss her and fall in love with her and hear her voice reciprocate it and _lose her to memories of death and destruction and every nightmare she's ever had! What's wrong with you, Vakarian?!_

Beating himself up about it wasn't exactly making the internal struggle any easier. Knowing you can't have something only makes you want it more, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. Forbidding a connection makes it grow even stronger, stronger connections impede rational thought, love makes you go insane. He was already a little bit insane, she'd made that clear several times—"We're all a little insane deep down, it's just a matter of how much you cultivate it. …and I like your crazy side. Much as I assume you like mine or you wouldn't have stuck with me so long." Undeniably, she had driven him crazy to some extent. Why else would he have decided to go three years ago? Why else would he now be so badly needing to abandon that decision and rush right back to her? He wanted back what they'd had. He wanted to share his most precious memories with her again. But he didn't have the luxury of choosing that.

Frantically, he started trying to remind himself what the distance between them was for. He had seen her breaking with doubt during the war from losing friends and witnessing so much death and destruction and madness. Right now, she was Echo again. If she regained the memories of all she'd had only to remember how she'd lost it all, if she truly had made such an enormous sacrifice to end the Reapers that it had cost them EDI and the geth when she had no guarantee they could ever be restored…he couldn't watch her break down. There'd been far too many nights in those months that felt like centuries when he'd had to hold her through endless streams of debilitating tears for Earth, Palaven, Thessia, Mordin, Thane, Legion—she deserved to move on from it all. She deserved to be happy. …and she deserved better than a war-torn, star-crossed romance filled with sleepless nights and mournful embraces. She deserved an actual love story of only happy memories and secret kisses and honest declarations of adoration not held back for fear of loss.

But that was where his frantic thoughts stilled. Maybe that was why he'd been given this chance. Maybe Liara had sent them together because she knew this. Maybe _he_ could give her that simple love story they hadn't been allowed the first time. Maybe if they got to fall in love all over again but in a completely different way, he could have her back for real without risking that he would be the reminder that made everything come flooding back. Maybe…maybe…

Maybe that was too many "maybes."

With a sigh, he turned to his omni-tool and called up an image he had spent many a night mourning over. The same picture he had clung to during that month-long wait to have her back between London and the day he walked out. The picture of the two of them at the top of the Presidium, proof that what they had was real and not just some pleasant dream he had woken up from in that hospital. She had meant so much to him and he had let her disappear. This had been his reminder that she had loved him, that even her losing those memories couldn't erase it, that _he _would always remember for her. But now it seemed like it was taunting him with what he couldn't have.

Well, what he _shouldn't _have. She was unknowingly giving him a "could." It would be so easy to say "yes" and take the risk. Part of him was convinced the old Shepard would tell him to since she was always pushing him to be more of a risk-taker, but since it was Shepard he was trying to protect… Surely the right thing to do would be to say "no." But it was also so painful that he couldn't even attempt it, could barely consider it no matter how much he tried to rationalize it.

He knew deep down that she'd stay with him no matter what he said, that she wouldn't throw away that chance at a real friendship just because he'd refused to take it any further. So why did this seem like such a make or break decision? Accept and they'd be on the path of no return, spiraling inevitably towards the emotional climax they had so nearly achieved in London. Decline and she'd never look at him the same way again, spiraling them both inevitably towards a resentful detachment across cold and lonely stars. No, he was right that she'd stay in contact if he refused, but he knew Echo in a way she didn't realize. He understood that she had made herself vulnerable with this offer. She guarded her heart like a thresher maw guarded its nest. That she had seen fit to give him even the possibility of claiming it a second time was humbling, to say the least. In fact, he couldn't recall her ever giving such a chance to anyone but him. A refusal wouldn't just wound her pride. She truly wouldn't ever look at him the same way again.

To think of her knowing he was out there and willfully shunning him was unbearable.

But the sudden pain that struck him so hard he nearly took advantage of his isolation to keen over it was not from that unbearable thought; it was from the realization that this unbearable thought was exactly what he had done to her. Well, not _exactly_, since she didn't know the difference, but she would have known there was something missing. Something he had taken from her when he left that hospital without telling her who he was. And then he'd avoided her like the plague because he thought it was in her best interests. His intentions had been to give her a chance with someone else, someone who could give her what he never could, yet she had somehow still wound up back here with him. Had he really been giving her a chance? Or had he unknowingly taken that chance away?

He tried to push that idea out of his mind. The damage was done. He'd done what he thought was right and there was nothing he could do to change that. Or was there? Yes, this offer was potentially going against the entire purpose of his sacrifice, but if it would make her happy again… But she was already happy, wasn't she? Or was that blissfully clueless? He had left to give her some peace, but she didn't seem all that peaceful if she was still looking for more with _him_.

This internal debate was going nowhere! He had to just figure out what he had to do to give her the best chance at…at…

No. This was up to _her_. She wanted to try. Regardless of the danger, he owed her just once, if only for walking out on her all those years ago.

So he brought up the message and sent his response.

Just tell me when.


	9. Reattempted

Chapter 9: Reattempted

The day leading up to their "first date" may have been anxious and thrilling for Echo, but it was riddled with guilt and dread for Garrus. After she messaged him a couple times about how much she was looking forward to it, he realized he had to put his problems behind him for her sake, at least until this day was over. The only solution he could find was to, for this one night, actually lock up his memories of the _Normandy_ and pretend this was truly the first time he went out with her. The first part of that solution would be difficult until such time as he first managed it, but the second part should be easy enough considering they hadn't had many actual date opportunities during their days fighting Reapers. With that in mind, part of him was looking forward to it even more than she was. This was a new experience with the woman he loved and he was going to have no choice but to enjoy every second.

That said, doing new things with her had always made him nervous. He was always so worried he'd mess it up. Even after they made it official and she gave him every assurance she cared about him too much for him to ruin anything, he held back at times for fear of hurting her or making them both vulnerable, the main reason he waited so long to confess that he loved her. Now they were essentially starting over and she was, in a few ways, even more fragile. It felt as if he had so much more to lose if this didn't go well. But he was armed with knowledge this time, of her people and of her, so he knew that the nerves were the least of his problems this time around.

That and he wasn't aiming to take this any further. Once this business with the Primarch was over and she was called back to Earth, they'd be retreating to their recent status as extranet friends and this night would be nothing but a happy memory. However, if that was all that could be gained from this night, it might as well be worth looking back on.

Presumably, it was this thought that possessed him to buy her a gift on the way to their arranged meeting spot. And, consequently, to berate himself every four seconds afterward.

He arrived there before she did—an alley not far from the city center. Anticipation was doing nothing to help his nerves, so he attempted to use this time to prepare himself. Anything could happen at this point. She could take one look at him and remember everything. She could go the whole night remembering absolutely nothing and look at him as a different person. She could even not feel the same way about him after all and back out of it. OK, that last one might not be as likely since she was the one who invited him in the first place, but telling himself that wasn't helping his anxiety. He finally resorted to pacing, as well as putting himself through his mental paces maintaining his earlier solution, and telling himself with every turn to stop worrying and just wait.

"Are you waiting for someone or trying to shake a tail?"

He stopped in his tracks, unable to withhold a small laugh at the familiar voice's customary "mocking" humor. When he turned to face her, though, that feeling of time stopping that came upon him at the transit station returned.

She was clearly trying to keep things casual for now (he wouldn't believe she even owned any formal wear had he not seen her in a dress on the Citadel), so she had settled for what humans would consider a simple outfit that she wouldn't know brought to Garrus' mind all the nights the two of them spent alone in her cabin to pretend there wasn't a war threatening to drive them apart. Anyone glancing at her offhandedly would reason she had given the same casual effort to the rest of her appearance, but the one who knew her best could see the way she had teased her soft brown hair, the uncertainty and eagerness in her stance, how she let just enough of her battle scars show—

"What?" she finally asked, her amused tone startling him enough to realize he was staring.

He quickly shook it off. "Uh…nothing. Nothing, just…well…" _…yeah, definitely starting over, nerves and all. What I wouldn't give for a Collector to shoot._

Echo noticed his floundering. She took a step back to let him recover, looking for something to shift focus to. It didn't take long to find something. "Is that for me?"

Garrus caught himself and looked down for what she was gesturing to, suddenly remembering he had, in fact, got her a gift. "Oh! Yes, I, uh…I heard it was a human tradition to…you know."

She smiled, gently taking the flower from his hands and looking it over. It was clearly a Palaven bloom, simply its silver splayed petals made that plain. It seemed so unbreakable as she held it, even though looking at it would give the impression it was fragile. The calming scent like an orchid, the way it gleamed in shadow as well as in the fading light, the silky feel of the silvery petals that burst with bright blue at the edges… "It's beautiful."

He was on the verge of admitting _It reminded me of you_ before he realized it probably wasn't a good idea to admit that just yet. What was that human saying? "Can of worms"? No, he simply went straight back to floundering for something else to say. "It's usually just a symbol for repelling adversity because the pollen is used in some of our medi-gel and stimulants, but it's not uncommon to exchange them as friendly gifts. I mean, the cultivation isn't exactly a major industry at the moment because of the reconstruction and all, so I think this one was pumped out of a fabricator, but that's probably a good thing because it's a dextro plant, so you'd be allergic to it anyway, and also the real ones wilt, and if I was going to give you something, I'd…I'd want it…to…" He stopped as he noticed the look she was giving him—somewhere between curious, expectant, and amused—and realized he was rambling. And that said ramble was not leading anywhere good. "…I should…probably stop talking."

She hesitated to respond even as he looked away and started shifting his feet and wringing his hands in a way that made her sympathy ache. She would have liked to tell him to keep talking anyway, if only because she enjoyed the sound of his voice, but she decided that would probably be coming on a bit strong. So she resolved to change the subject and hope talking about something else would ease his nerves. "Alright then…where are we going?"

He looked at her. "I just assumed you were deciding."

She shrugged. "It's your city. Thought I'd leave it up to you."

He pondered for a moment. This was a simple enough decision that he could consider it consequence-free, if only because she had never been to Palaven or seen any of Cipritine the first time. There was so much he had wanted to show her and now he was being given a chance. The problem was that a lot of it was outside the city or even not there anymore. _No, you know her. Start small._ That thought gave him an idea that was enough to make him smile. "Come on."

Echo withheld her questions as he led her through the city center. She did still give him a dubious look when she saw they were going to Palaven Command, but she went along with it. It was only when they came out on the roof that she saw why he'd chosen it. This building was easily the tallest one in Cipritine, so the rest of the city and even some of the surrounding area was visible as the setting sun made every silver surface glow. "This is…_amazing_."

Garrus watched as she approached the edge, leaning on a guard rail to see as much as she could. He smiled to see her finally having a chance to enjoy the view, especially the view of his home-world (battle-scarred as it may be). This was always a memory he'd wished he'd had the chance to make with her before. "Yeah. It really is."

Echo watched the horizon for a moment, occasionally glancing down at the busy city below. When Garrus came over to stand beside her, she smiled briefly and asked him if he came up here often. He answered with the simple explanation that this was where he came to think on the rare days work seemed like too much, but she only distantly listened. She did listen, mind, but she was paying more attention to the sound of his voice, only now realizing it was a quality she found especially attractive, species aside. There was something about it that made her feel at ease. There was something about _him_ that made her feel like she belonged. Just like when she first pulled him aside at the transit station, she couldn't help but feel that he was awfully familiar…wait…

Garrus finally noticed the way she was looking at him. "What?"

"…I remember you."

Garrus froze, simultaneous sensations of all-consuming fear and overcoming delight filling him. "You do?"

"Yeah. You're the one who came to see me at the hospital the day they let me out, right before the mass relays started functioning again."

Just like that, the turian's emotional bubble burst, causing his overwhelming state to dissipate entirely into shallow pools formed from equal measures of disappointment and relief. "Right. Yeah, that was me."

"Didn't you say that the Primarch sent you? Something about me saving your platoon in the war?"

_Something like that. _"I was his advisor then, too," he explained, dancing around the truth enough to leave her out of it without lying to her, "I was pretty much the first turian to see Reapers in action—saw some Husks on a few uncharted worlds during some scouting missions while Sovereign was preparing his grand invasion."

"I thought you said you were with C-Sec while Saren was attacking Eden Prime," Echo asked, confused.

"I was," Garrus answered, thinking over every word carefully, "but when the system failed and let Saren go free afterward, I had it and quit, went back to military service. At least, long enough to see that. After Sovereign, I tried going it on my own for a while, which just showed me how bad it was when the Collectors started attacking. I went straight back to Palaven and…well, you can pretty much assume what happened next."

"Glad to know someone besides me saw where it was going," Echo commented.

"From what I heard, several people saw it. Though not enough of the right people to convince much of anyone else. …not that there would've been much we could do about it even if the whole galaxy knew."

She consented that point, taking a moment to let the ensuing contemplative silence run its course. As they stood there, not talking, she looked out at the horizon and watched the sky slowly fade from the green-blue color of an atmosphere full of solar radiation to the purple-black of night, Trebia surrendering its light to Menae and Nanus. As this transition took place, she looked through her periphery to Garrus and pieced together in her mind all that she knew of him. It only took a minute to recognize something. "You know, it just occurred to me, at the risk of sounding self-absorbed, that we're not talking about me. At all, even in the messages. Just you."

He only noticed it now. He knew his reasons, though. Surprisingly, he also knew he could tell her them. "Well, I feel like I already know the important stuff—your life is pretty well publicized. As for the details…well, I didn't wanna push you. I know you haven't exactly had the easiest time."

She smiled. No one else had showed her so much consideration except for possibly Liara. "You amaze me, Vakarian." As she took a moment to appreciate his timid response (which was a strange look for a turian to give), she felt a small flare of warmth inside her. It was at this point she saw that her attraction to him might be something more. She quickly decided that was something to consider when he wasn't standing right next to her and tamped it down to focus on shifting the conversation. "However, this is the time to get to know each other, not just me getting to know you. So we can just skip past the childhood and the service record and get to the little things no one _would_ ask about."

He nodded. "OK…like what?"

She thought that over. "I don't know. No one's ever bothered asking."

He laughed. "Alright, alright, give me a second." He was about to habitually shove back the urge to sift through his memories of his time with her on the _Normandy_ when he realized that he could now. So he did, thinking over all the things he knew about her. Shockingly, he was genuinely light on details. They had spent so much time concerned with the big things that they hadn't bothered making small talk. That made this particular encounter seem a bit inconsequential by comparison, but he knew it was no less important. This mattered to both of them. He was going to do it right. He finally settled on a few questions they could build on and dove right in. "What's your favorite flower?"

She scoffed. "Straight in with the hard-hitting questions, is it?" She sighed as he laughed. "You know, you might have asked me before you got me this one…" she said pointedly as she held up the silver, blue-flecked blossom he had brought her. And smiled. "Because I think you changed my answer."

He smiled with her. She'd always known just what to say to do that to him.

She took a moment to admire the way his eyes lit up before she decided they should get back to talking. "Next question?"

He spent the next several minutes asking her all the things he would never have thought to but now so desperately wanted to know. These ranged from favorite color (blue, like the ocean) to favorite constellation (Pegasus, or maybe the one that looks like a bear) to favorite poem ("Tree." …no, really, there's a poem called "Tree." James Joyce. Read it.). Every answer she gave was accentuated with a subtle flirtation or a humorous remark, rendering the entire conversation so freeing and honest that they began to forget their troubles and doubts and let time pass them by completely.

Which was why Garrus wasn't paying enough attention to stop himself when he asked "…what's your favorite memory?"

Her face fell at the question. After two seconds, she looked away, as if hoping he wouldn't notice.

But he did. Immediately, he realized what he'd done wrong. That was a question for the old Shepard. Asking Echo that was a slap in the face. He quickly started scrambling to apologize.

He never got the words out before she took a deep breath and gave an answer: "I'll get back to you on that one." She glanced up at the sky, watching as the stars slowly revealed themselves despite the lights of the city below. "Though this view has been a solid contender."

He wanted to smile but the grief and guilt welling up inside him made that impossible. He'd let his guard down. Clearly, doing that around her was a mistake now. Too bad he'd long ago lost his ability to keep it up when he was around her this long.

Seeing that the conversation part of the night was over, Echo turned away from the view just long enough to watch him. He was looking down at the city below rather than at her. She could tell he regretted the question. So she started thinking up ways to show him that she didn't mind. Eventually, she found her hand drifting slowly closer to his along the guard rail. Her fingers lifted just enough to come to rest on his talons—

The second he felt her touch him with the weight of his actions hanging over him, he flinched back.

She recoiled in response, suddenly afraid she'd made her move too soon and scared him off. "…sorry."

He saw the sadness and fear behind her eyes and found that he regretted leaving as much as he regretted staying. Paradox or not, he quickly started trying to reassure her. "No, it's not you. It's…just a reflex." _I'm too used to having to stay away, _he hoped she couldn't hear the true meaning behind his words, _because I miss you too much to trust that I'll still be able to let you go._

She just nodded, accepting the answer. Secretly, she told herself that she now had a challenge to get through his walls and teach him the ways of human intimacy. And possibly learn the ways of turians.

While she made this challenge, though, he was forcing himself to look forward. Soon, she would be sent back to Earth and be out of his life again, though she was now in distant contact with him. Soon, this night would only be another memory of her for him to hold onto. A good one, but one that proved he could let go now. "Thank you for asking me to do this with you," he finally said it. And meant it in a way she could never understand.

"No, I enjoyed it," Echo smiled, "We should do this again sometime."

Was it a bad sign that Garrus felt slightly less panicked by this suggestion than he had at the original? He couldn't decide. Since he was already here, though, there was no easy way to say "no" without pushing her away again, possibly for good. So he just said what he meant and hoped it wouldn't prove to be the wrong answer in the long run: "Yeah, we should."

She took one last look out at the city and the surrounding valley before the cold of night kicked in, made slightly worse by their current elevation. "It's getting late. We should probably call it a night."

He nodded. "Right. Let's go." So he led her back down to the street and saw her off. He didn't offer to walk her home—partly because he didn't want to be too close to her for more than necessary and partly because he knew she could take care of herself—but he did make a point of properly taking her hand before they parted, a gesture he could tell she more than appreciated.

Even as the two separated, Echo glanced over her shoulder to watch which way he went. He moved towards the outskirts by the crater outside the city, barely even watching where he was going since he knew his path so perfectly. As she made her way to her own destination, she couldn't help but think that he seemed to carry more weight with each step, something else she challenged herself to resolve. When she finally came to her temporary quarters and closed the door, she leaned back on it and carefully held up the flower he'd given her. She smiled as she softly stroked the petals and thought of a night alone in a starlit sky with a turian who made her happier than she could ever remember being. _Who would have thought? Guess the things you want are always in the last place you would expect._

But while Echo was reminiscing how much she enjoyed their outing, Garrus was making his way home by constantly berating himself for letting this get so far. Once he was home and definitely alone, he sighed. _What have you gotten yourself into this time, Vakarian?_ He'd let himself get complacent, forgotten why he had stayed away from her for so long. He had to do something. So he spent the whole night pondering over how to get himself out of this without hurting her. After several hours of no answer, he decided there was nothing to be done except go along with it and hope she would be content to return to messaging once she was finally called back to Earth.

Although, if he knew Echo Shepard as well as he thought he did, she didn't do "content."


	10. Escalation

Chapter 10: Escalation

It turned out that he did know Echo Shepard. She wasn't content for one second. She had decided she liked him. When she liked something, she wanted more of it. So their second date was followed by a third and fourth before Garrus finally realized that he was trapped. The worse realization, though, was that he no longer cared and was banking everything on the hope that, if she hadn't got her memories back yet, they weren't returning at all.

That particular realization was essentially cemented in his mind the night of their fifth date, when she did something he'd thought she would never do with him again.

The night started the same way: with him taking a few minutes to put aside his reminiscences and concerns to devote his attention to her. When he met her this time, he proposed they leave the city for once.

"You're not just looking to 'get lost' with me, are you?" Echo commented as they left Cipritine.

Garrus just smirked to himself, taking a moment to admire her appearance as she glanced out the window at the passing landscape. The same simple outfit, the same confident grace, the same softly waving brown hair…that was now pinned back by a flower that rested on her left ear, the flower he gave her the night of their first outing. As much as he knew he shouldn't let it happen, he knew it as much as he longed for it: she was still _his_ Echo, even if she wasn't the same person anymore…and might never be again. "…if I was, you'd know."

Echo smiled softly. For someone who was so unsure of himself at this kind of thing, he always seemed to know just what to say.

It didn't take long to reach their destination (thank you, modern transport technology). They had missed the sunset, but that hardly detracted from the experience. They arrived by a cliff overlooking the largest of Palaven's seas. Sapphire waves crashed against the rocks below, echoing rushes and sighs. This area was untouched by both the invasion and the reconstruction, leaving the scene isolated and pure. The stars seemed far brighter away from the lights of the capital, interrupted only by the spheres of the twin moons, a crescent and a waning orb that would together make one whole entity like in the human myths of distantly joined souls or rare turian stories of symbiotic spirits. Needless to say, it did not go unnoticed by either of them that this site would likely top a list of the most romantic locations on Palaven.

"You find the best views, Vakarian," Echo smirked as she came to the cliff and knelt down to glimpse the moonlight glimmering on the water.

Garrus couldn't help but be amused at her chosen positioning. Right on the edge. Always the daredevil, always so unafraid and so sure of her footing. She could stand at the edge of the universe and be one inch from the unending abyss and still lean over for a view of the stars as if there was no chance in eternity she'd ever fall. No wonder he had admired her so much before he even knew he loved her.

"Maybe we should keep spreading out," Echo commented, "It's a big planet, I'm sure there's a lot to see."

Garrus shrugged. "We're both a bit busy right now so I didn't want to plan on going too far out. Besides, a lot of the best landmarks are still under reconstruction and there wouldn't be enough time to see all of it before you had to head back to Earth."

Echo tensed up when he said that. No one who knew her less than he did would be able to tell, but he noticed. He wondered what the problem could be but figured it must be that she had forgotten for just one moment that she would be leaving Palaven soon. Would be leaving _him_. It pained him to think of it, but he told himself it was for the best. He just hoped that, after all this, she would still be able to see it that way.

He shook it off. He had put effort into forgetting all that just long enough to give her the night. No sense remembering the downside now. If she was enjoying it, he might as well, too.

So he took her side again, smiling at the thought that he expressed while he moved. "I guess it doesn't matter where we go as long as we're together."

As Garrus came to sit down beside her, Echo shifted so that she was sitting on the cliff rather than squatting at the edge. She thought over his words for a moment. _Together._ She knew what he meant, but she couldn't deny the way she wanted it to stay that way and grow to something more. She couldn't deny that something inside her leaped at the thought of living every day feeling his touch, hearing his voice, waking up to his eyes. It was ridiculous, she knew—or at least thought she should know—but she wanted it. And when she wanted something, she intended to make sure she got it. However, this time was out of her hands. So since he happened to be right here next to her, she might as well simply make the most of what little she could have. She smiled to herself, scooting imperceptibly closer and not-at-all-on-purpose-because-turians-wouldn't-get-it-anyway tapping his foot with her own.

Garrus, though, recognized the gesture. He smirked to himself, letting his fingers wrap around hers and latching his foot around her ankle.

She took notice. _…oh. I guess he _has_ been doing some research._ She smiled more openly than to herself now, returning his every touch and moving less-imperceptibly closer.

He didn't bother hiding the rush of elation he felt simply from touching her. After five dates, it would be clear to her that he liked her. For this same reason, he also didn't bother restraining himself when the desire awoke in him to touch her just a little more. He matched her "imperceptible" movement to get as close to her as he could, letting his talons slide gently over her skin. When she sighed from enticement, he let go of her hand completely and his talons began to glide up her arm to her neck and into her hair.

She took only a few seconds to appreciate the way those razor-sharp talons so tenderly grazed her nerve endings, the longing and protectiveness in his every touch. Eventually, she turned to face him, intending to tell him…tell him…well, something. She forgot what it was the second her eyes landed on his piercing blue gaze.

For a moment, he was utterly lost in her silver blue eyes as they glistened in the starlight, only seeming brighter in proximity to the flower he gave her (such a simple accessory made her seem so harmless, but it complemented the ferocity in her heart so perfectly). He barely noticed as she moved closer, the subtle glow of Palaven's moons seeming to make her more radiant than he'd ever seen her before. His hand's motions through her soft brown waves began to slow, the crash of the sea below seemed to grow silent, even his thoughts descended into a jumbled mix of emotions that no human could put words to. The world had stopped and they were the only two people left on it. As he looked at her, he could tell that she felt it right along with him.

That was when she closed what little distance remained between them. And they kissed.

Their first kiss on the _Normandy_ had seemed to come in two stages. At first, it had been unsure and gentle, less about confessing any hidden feelings and more about learning how to do such a thing with each other and reinforcing the trust necessary for the rest of the night's events. Once they began to fall into it properly, though, it had turned into a fiery rush of want and demanding, desperate to feel everything in as little time as possible, growing stronger and deeper as the gravity of the impending mission truly sunk in. It'd been a perfect reflection of the roller coaster of uncertainty and fear and doubt and need that their relationship during the war was then based upon.

This was nothing like that.

This time, there was no reason to doubt. This time, there was no cause for uncertainty. This time, the only need was not for escape or consolation but simply for each other. They had all the time in the galaxy to be together. This reflected not the desperation of war but the desperation of love. It began as a simple affectionate gesture, but as they both succumbed, the embrace drew closer and deeper and stronger. As she pressed herself against him, he could feel her heart rate steadily climbing and distantly noticed his was doing the same. Breathing no longer seemed like a concern, like they would only suffocate if they separated. The world truly faded as their every sense came to belong solely to each other. It was passionate, it was hopeful, and it was worth waiting three long years for.

When they pulled away, though, Garrus suddenly remembered why it had been so long since they'd done that last. Surely, if _anything_ was going to revive her memories, _that_ would've been it. Tense with dread and anticipation in equal measure, he braced himself for the worst (or best, perhaps?) as he leaned back to meet her eyes again.

She was smiling in a way he hadn't seen on her since…_ever_. But the way she was looking at him was no different than it had been for the past week, except for how the gleam in her eyes no longer seemed to be from the stars.

He sighed, that same mixture of relief and disappointment pulsing inside him. Although this time was interlaced with a sense of joy he hadn't allowed himself to feel in a long time.

"That was…" she said, suddenly seeming at a loss for words, which anyone who knew her wouldn't have thought possible.

Garrus simply smiled, nodding as he laid his head against hers. "…wonderful."

Echo jubilantly leaned into him, laying her head on his shoulder as she took his hand again and turned to watch the sea below.

Garrus reached over to wrap his free arm around her to keep her close. While he looked out at the view, though, his mind raced not just with the ecstasy of kissing her again but also with _why? _Why hadn't her memories come back after _that_? Why should this make him feel so conflicted when it should have solved all his problems? …why was fate insisting on bringing them back together when, any day now, it was again going to pull them apart?

Having her so close, feeling her warmth meld with his own, served to soothe the torrent inside him for long enough to, as planned, enjoy his time with her while he could. Even when they went back to the city to call it a night and she kissed him goodbye, it was only the most distant part of his mind that noticed how much it made him achingly recall their farewell in London. Something had definitely changed in him even if nothing had changed for her, he was certain of that. He lost more than one hour of sleep trying to make sense of it.

Making sense of this type of thing, though, was not exactly something he was trained for. It was far from made easier by what happened in the morning. It took him all of three hours to realize it, but when he did, he was too stunned to process it. Echo hadn't messaged him. She'd always contacted him by now. Had he done something wrong? Did she not want to talk to him?

…did her memories come back over the night?

That thought made his insides clench with horror. What if she'd suddenly remembered everything and not only proven his fears but also been so upset with him for leaving and then not telling her when they reunited that she couldn't even talk to him anymore? He tried to force the thought back—what ifs are useless, after all, and unless his fears were more accurate than predicted, she would have told him. No, something else was wrong. But what?

A knock on the door threw him from his thoughts. He went over to answer it, not sure what to expect. The last thing he would have expected, though, was what he got. "Echo?!"

Sure enough, Echo was standing there. "I'm not stalking you, honest. I just saw you heading this way after every date and I took a wild guess."

Lost for words, he simply stepped aside to let her in, letting his sudden barrage of panic fade away. "What are you doing here?" he asked as the door closed behind her.

She seemed unnaturally tense, shifting her feet and not meeting his eyes. "Well…I…" She groaned. "I'm terrible at this relationship stuff."

Garrus was taken aback by that particular confession. Back on the _Normandy_, she'd always been the bold, confident one in _everything_, even when it came to matters of the heart. He had never once seen her uncertain or withdrawn. Had it all been an act for his sake or had that much changed after she lost her memories of those days?

She finally took a deep breath and forced herself to face him. "I need to…confess…something."

Now he was especially concerned. She had never been one to hide things, at least not from people she cared about. Ready for the worst, he waited patiently for her to come out with it.

For an achingly long moment, she choked on the words, so at war with herself that it made him wonder how long she'd been standing outside before she'd worked up the courage to even knock on his door. At long last, she took one deep breath and let it all out: "Thedeliberationswereoverfivedaysago."

Garrus just blinked. "I…what?"

She sighed, slumping slightly as she forced herself to say it at a pace he (or at least his translator) could keep up with. "Primarch Victus and I finished the negotiations five days ago."

Confusion momentarily overcame his concerns. Then her meaning truly sunk in and the concerns doubled back in full force. "So why haven't you been called back to Earth yet?"

"They're not exactly keeping me deployed. And I'm still technically a Spectre, so I don't think they'd push me too hard. …I was thinking I could offer to be a sort of peacekeeper, maintaining relations between the hierarchy and the Alliance so the diplomats can actually do their jobs from here on out without relying on military liaisons so heavily. I mean, I haven't run it by Liara yet, but it sounds like she's still got her hands full—honestly, what is her position with the matriarchs that she so rarely leaves Thessia?"

Ignoring the deflection, Garrus thought he caught sight of what she was working towards about halfway through that so-called explanation. "Wait, you…what are you saying?"

She hesitated again, but she was committed now. The pleading look in her eyes confirmed it. "I don't know if I've made it all that clear, but I kind of like you." She moved closer, the uncertainty still thick within her the only reason she didn't outright try to grab hold of him. "…and I wanna stay here with you."

That was the point at which a human in his position would promptly faint. As it was, he felt like his brain had shut down and it took him what felt like several minutes to properly process what she'd suggested. She wanted to _stay here with him_. Three years ago, this would have been such a simple question, but now it had all the simplicity of a chess game. They had never even taken a step like this the first time around, and there had been no question back then of if his proximity would damage her irreparably. If ever there was a time for him to say "no," this should be it. But how could he turn her down now after he'd let her get close again? She wouldn't ask for this if she didn't think her attachment to him was something worth holding onto. And the fact that even the part of him that had been clinging so tightly to the notion she would go back to Earth soon was now struggling to remember why he shouldn't…but after what happened last night made no difference…

In short, he had no idea how to respond.

Unfortunately, even through the blank silence, Echo could see the turmoil suddenly rising within him. Disappointment and doubt crept in, and she backed away as if she was afraid making contact would scare him away completely. "Do you not want me that way?"

Those words were more than enough to elicit a response. "What? No! Echo, of course I do!" The hope returning to her eyes did ease a small portion of his storm of fear and sorrow, but he couldn't deny the sense that he shouldn't have said it in case it made things harder when the time came that he had to…had to…

No. He couldn't push her away again.

So, as much as he hated to admit it had come to this, his choice was already made.

He sighed, reaching over to take her hand. "It just seems like we're moving a bit fast. But…you matter to me. And if you're willing to try this, I am, too."

She brightened so quickly and so fiercely that he couldn't help but smile with her. "Really? You mean it?"

He just nodded. He had meant this for longer than she would believe.

She made no effort to conceal that this meant more to her than she would care to admit. "OK!" She kissed him quickly then turned to run off. "I'll go get everything squared away and I'll come right back. I promise, you won't regret this."

Those words stuck with him as she left. Half of him knew he wouldn't. While the other half already did.

He collapsed in defeat against the wall. Things had escalated far beyond his control. Three years thrown away in less than three weeks. He had been so convinced for so long that taking steps like this would be endangering her own long-term happiness just for him to have a few days of his own. Now, though, seeing her happy and herself and falling for him all over again in a way she hadn't had the chance to do before…he did wonder if maybe things would be different than he had anticipated.

But, as he'd long established, wondering was pointless. The line was crossed. All he could do was hope, whatever happened, they could handle it together.

_Together._ That thought brought his smile back. Perhaps there was a reason to hope now. They had long ago proven they could face anything together.


	11. Further

Chapter 11: Further

Echo had always been a risk-taker—growing up a scavenger tends to make you one—but she was a considerate risk-taker. She took to heart what Garrus had said in response to her suggestion, so she resolved to make this transition as little like they were rushing things as she could. As always, she traveled light, bringing what little baggage she owned to his house, but without asking him his preference, she set it all down in the spare bedroom rather than in his.

It was shocking how quickly this change seemed natural to both of them. Neither of them would admit it, but they had both had moments of terrible loneliness over the past three years, which they hadn't even noticed were interspersed with underlying sensations of incompletion, and those feelings came to an end almost immediately. The first morning they each woke up to find the other waiting in the next room, it seemed like they'd found where they belonged. Not to say there weren't adjustments that needed to be made—they had to slightly rearrange the house to make room for her, inform the Alliance and the Spectres of her intention of changing positions, and essentially use his status in the hierarchy to establish a supply chain of levo-based rations. Yet both of them deep down felt this change would be worth it.

…possibly Echo more than Garrus, but still (he wouldn't admit to this anyway).

"If we're going to be doing this," Echo suggested after the adjustments were all arranged, "we should probably make the most of it. At this point, we could both work from home anyway. …though, I guess, you've already been doing that."

Garrus shrunk back. "You noticed that, did you?"

"If we hadn't been messaging, I would've thought you were avoiding me."

Why did she always have to be so observant?

"Why did you stay back, anyway?" she finally asked, noticing his disquiet.

He resented the decision now. Mostly because he now had to explain it. "…let's just say I had other things on my mind." Much as he wished she wasn't so perceptive, he was thankful she was also understanding. She could see that was all he wanted to say so she didn't bring it up again. _Always so worried about everyone else. It's no wonder she's a hero now._

They went with her plan, making it the last of their adjustments. Echo seemed to get lucky, one message to Admiral Hackett enough to clear the entire "reassignment." Garrus had to make his own luck, waiting until Echo wouldn't notice to send a message to Victus that explained exactly what had happened. It was safe to say the Primarch understood enough about the unique situation his advisor was in to make some allowances.

Once they were all set, it was just a matter of settling in with each other. This matter was settled in three stages: awkward silence, awkwardly filling said silence in whatever way possible, and not-at-all-awkwardly kissing each other senseless. In less than half an hour, Echo had forgotten all her hang-ups and Garrus had forgotten why exactly he didn't let her in the second she came back to him. Naturally, though, the moment they separated (still remaining comfortably close), he remembered what she couldn't, a problem that was difficult to force back now that she was right here beside him for spirits knew how long.

When she stepped aside, he watched her. She was beautiful enough for a human that even he could recognize it, she was a strong and graceful warrior, she was brilliant and kind and selfless—she was something to be envied and admired, not to belong to anyone. Yet she had given herself to him. _Twice_. He had always wondered what made her realize what they felt for each other could be more than friendship (best friends, at that). Suddenly, he realized that he had the capacity to question the decision this time.

So, without thinking, he asked her "Why?"

She looked at him in confusion. "What?"

"Why would you want to be with me like this?"

Her confused glance turned to one of sympathy and admiration. With a soft smile, she took his side again, taking his hands in hers. "Honestly? There were two main reasons. Reason number one?" She sighed, thinking over how best to describe this. "…imagine you fight in a war, save pretty much the entire galaxy, and then wake up with memory damage. You still know what happened, but you're a blank for how you did it all and, since no one is around to clear up the how, it feels more like it all happened _to_ you than _because_ of you. So you know why everyone treats you like a hero but you don't feel like you deserve it. But then, to make things worse, everyone knows about the memory damage and assumes you need special treatment or explanations or something, so everyone treats you like you're a little bit broken when you know good and well you're not. Suddenly, there's only one or two people in the entire galaxy who bother to get to know you with a fresh start rather than leading every conversation with 'Hey, didn't you _use_ to be Commander Shepard?'"

Garrus couldn't hide that he was bothered by how people must have treated her these past three years. It made him wish he could've been around in a capacity to show them how wrong they were, to give her the "how" she was searching for. But he'd let himself believe it was better for her without that. When the choices were lonely or fractured, there wasn't really a right answer.

She cut off his concerned chain of thoughts with another smile. "Now imagine you run into someone who doesn't do either. Someone who must know who you are on sight—because, much as you might wish it were otherwise, everyone does—but looks at you like a person rather than a damaged soldier, doesn't even try to get close to you. You'd be pretty curious, right?"

He knew he would. He'd been there after Omega.

"So when you get the chance to talk to them, you start trying to figure them out, because, obviously, you can't just outright ask them 'Why so evasive?'" She smirked slyly at the thought's eventual conclusion: "Let's just say that you eventually realize that's not the question you need answered."

He looked her over in wonder. He could see her meaning, but it was the meaning itself that astonished him. It was the exact opposite of the ultimate reason she had chosen him the first time—because she needed someone who already knew her and still stood by her, someone she could trust, something that made sense. It did sate an unspoken insecurity deep within him that they had only been so drawn to each other because of convenience in a time of battle that necessitated something—_someone_—to fight for. No, they were drawn together by something else entirely.

She moved slightly closer as she continued. "Which brings us to reason two." As she met his eyes, she knew he could see the joy behind her own, the attachment and belonging that she hoped he knew he had laid claim to. "When you do get to know someone, you tend to develop some sort of feelings for them. In your case, I happened to see past the evasion and physical qualities—although, mind you, those are also rather attractive…"

He withheld a laugh. Still trying to get to him after all this time.

"…and I saw you for _who _you are as opposed to _what _you are. You're brave and funny and honest and kind. A little cocky at times, yeah, but also a little insecure. Call me crazy, but I'd admire someone who was only one of those in such a high concentration as yours. Human, turian, salarian—I wouldn't care."

That time he did laugh, as much at the concept of her dating a salarian as at the thought that truly occurred to him now. Though her ultimate reason was so different, her genuine reason stayed the same: because he was Garrus Vakarian, the one turian she couldn't imagine life without.

After everything else changed, she'd, seemingly against all reason, still fallen for him. She was in no way the same person she had been during the war, but at the same time, she hadn't changed a bit.

She finally sat back, looking at him expectantly. "Well?"

Now it was his turn to give her a confused glance. "'Well' what?"

"I told you mine, so now you have to tell me yours." She clearly asked this in order to mess with him, but the look in her eyes conveyed an honest need to know. "Why me? Why 'yes'?"

He should have been conflicted, struggling to come up with an honest answer for why the inner conflict he'd faced at her initial invitation had been so severe, but he looked at her question in a completely different way than she'd approached his own. Because he remembered the first time she'd asked and telling her "yes" almost immediately. He searched those memories, piecing together his reasoning, trying to find the words to explain properly why he had accepted something he hadn't allowed himself to consider or even realized he wanted before. "…I don't know," he realized, "I just know I admired you enough to try." He smiled as he looked at her again. "And in the end, I was glad I did."

She looked at him as if that simple sentiment had far more meaning than her well-worded explanation. Then she proved that was what her glance meant by reaching to kiss him. When they parted, she laid her head on his with a smile of contentment. "I was, too."

They spent the rest of the day simply enjoying each other's company. Now they were settling into the idea of living together, they were settling into each other as well. This was plain just from how they talked and how they were constantly in contact. Echo finally remarked that they were turning into one of those couples you couldn't pry apart with a crowbar. Still, she also remarked that she was glad they were both past their days of, as humans would sometimes call it, "chasing fireflies."

"Chasing what?" Garrus asked.

She gave him an incredulous look. "You haven't seen a firefly? You haven't even _heard_ of one?!"

"I don't think so. Is this a human thing?"

"It's—" She groaned, walking away. "If you'll excuse me, I have to take care of something."

Garrus stood there, watching her leave the room, utterly perplexed. He hadn't said something to offend her, had he? He briefly entertained the idea of using his omni-tool to do an extranet search on what a firefly was, but he decided to just leave it alone and let her explain it if it was that important to her. Oddly, though, when she did come back, she ignored the previous conversation entirely and suggested they get something to eat. He went along with it, filing away the question for a later discussion—he had a large file in his mind of things she'd said that he hadn't understood and never got the chance to ask about.

Day two passed by uneventfully, as did days three and four, with the two of them merely talking (and/or kissing vigorously) the hours away. It was far from monotonous, though, since they had grown so attached to each other and made even the smallest of conversations somehow meaningful. So on day five, when Echo stepped out for a few minutes and returned with an excited, almost mischievous gleam in her eyes, it was no wonder Garrus was curious what she was up to that would make her tell him "it's a surprise." He grew more and more curious as he watched her and noticed that she was constantly glancing out the nearest window at the distant horizon. His detective side was itching to put the pieces together, but she didn't seem to be giving any clues. Finally, after the sun went down, she jumped up, grabbed him by the wrist, and spiritedly dragged him outside.

"Uh, Echo?" Garrus asked, "Not that I don't trust you, but where are we going?"

"Down here," she shrugged off the question as she pulled him toward the crater behind the house.

"Oh," he responded as he looked over the eight-foot-deep hole of dust left by Reaper fire on his home-world three years before, "…why?"

"Just come on and you'll see." Not listening to another word, she jumped down the short drop, bringing him to follow her, and jogged a short distance ahead. Once she was certain she had adequate space, she pulled a small device from her pocket and set it down, doing some quick programming before turning it on. When she looked up, she smiled to see that the projector was producing exactly the image she wanted.

Garrus looked around in simultaneous amazement and uncertainty. "What is this?"

Echo simply smiled, her eyes almost as bright as her precious projections. "Fireflies."

He looked at them properly now. They were just holographic projections of the creatures, not actual fireflies, but they were still lifelike until one attempted to make contact with them. Moving closer to one, he examined the features. "Bioluminescent insects?"

"It's how they communicate—flickers and flashes."

He found himself smiling as he looked around at the small yellow lights flittering around the crater. "I can see why you like them so much."

She nodded as she watched them. "When I was growing up, there were two or three summers I was able to spend out of the cities and off in the fields. I would stay up late at night to watch the fireflies come out. I always thought they were beautiful, like tiny dancing stars. I thought about catching one but I knew what it was like to run free when others wanted you cooped up. So I just fell asleep and dreamed I was one."

As she wistfully watched the dancing lights flicker through the air, Garrus watched her. This was a side of her he'd never had the chance to see before. This was the part of her he'd wanted to save. His Echo, more beautiful than all the stars in the sky.

That thought gave him an idea of his own. He smiled to himself and snuck over to the projector, using his omni-tool to hack into the programming.

Echo was startled out of her reverie when the firefly projections all abruptly changed direction and began to synchronously circle her and Garrus. She whirled around to check the projector, finding Garrus standing there with his omni-tool hooked up to it. "Alright, that's just cheating!"

He smirked at her, shrugging smugly. "I've got a surprise of my own." So he took direct control of the projection and showed her.

Just like that, flickers of light spread out in no form of a pattern began to fly in spirals and waves worthy of the stars. Echo couldn't help but laugh when she saw the simulated lights arrange themselves in the form of the constellation Pegasus and then "the one that looks like a bear." She even allowed herself to be the least bit impressed as well as flattered when the spirals resumed centered around her, as if she was the sun around which every star in the galaxy orbited. As the majority of the fireflies danced around her, one flew up to buzz joyously in front of her. With an intrigued smile, she held up a hand and watched with amusement as it circled her arm several times before coming to rest on her palm.

But while she was distracted by the one firefly nuzzling her outstretched hand, Garrus directed about two dozen of the others to land in a circlet through her hair, ornamented by the flower he had given her, which was again lying over her left ear. She wouldn't notice since light didn't give physical sensations and there were too many flittering around her for what light these gave to her periphery to conjure any bewilderment, but he saw it. The imaginary crown made her literally radiant, her silver blue eyes glowing golden green with firefly light even as they gleamed with wonder and delight. It made her seem on the outside how he knew she was within.

If he was an Archangel, what did that make her? Would humans even have a word for it? For that matter, did turians? All he knew was that she was a treasure beyond worth and her heart was the one part of her that needed constant protection. She deserved all the joy in the universe and a life he knew he could never give her. Yet with all opportunities open to her, here she was with him. Maybe there was something to that human concept of destiny.

The firefly in her hand finally buzzed around her in a way that made her twirl to follow it, practically giggling at the experience, which was a feat unto itself because Echo Shepard doesn't _giggle_. When this one lone firefly simply rejoined the rest, her eyes instead fell on Garrus. Even had she not been currently adorned as "Echo, Queen of the Fireflies," that adoring look in her eyes would be enough to make him abandon all reason and give her _everything_. So he promptly turned off his omni-tool, letting the projector resume its intended programming, and moved closer to her. He made it three steps before she smiled and rushed over to kiss him. He took this chance to hold her close and lose himself in her, letting her be the only one to take note of how ironically, theatrically, romantically perfect it was that this tender, loving embrace would take place in a field of fireflies, simulated or otherwise. And it was perfect.

At least until it started raining.

Echo was the one to pull away, take notice of the water falling from the sky, and grumblingly rush to retrieve the projector. "Honestly, every time things seem to be ideal, something's gotta butt in."

Garrus smirked, shaking his head. "It was a nice thought while it lasted. …and we can always try again on a clearer night."

She smirked back. "We can dream." With that, she placed the device back in her pocket, safe from the rain, and led him back to the house.

"Maybe we should call it a night," Garrus suggested once they were back inside.

"No, I'm still all giddy!" Echo said, exaggerating the comment with a bounce on the balls of her feet, "Here, now that you get the idea, why don't we keep going in here?" She pulled the projector back out of her pocket. "Or we could just watch some vids with it—I loaded a few on here 'cause I thought it was a waste of credits to only use it for one thing."

He laughed for a moment before consenting. "Fine. Your call. It's not like I have other things to do tonight."

She answered that by kissing his scars. "Good. I prefer to have you all to myself."

So they sat side by side for an hour, watching a human vid she was remarkably fond of (he refused to outright say _Beauty and the Beast_ because its idealness to them was too ironic). It was a good thing she knew it so well or she would've been disappointed when she fell asleep halfway through.

Garrus watched her as she curled up against him and drifted off. She seemed so small like this, even though he knew how fierce an opponent she truly was, but she also seemed beautiful (not that he didn't always think she was…). He couldn't deny that he only now felt like he was where he belonged. He had found the place he was meant to be every night he spent with her during the war; hopeless as their romance might have been, it was far more than "worth fighting for." Going three years without that had threatened to break him in a way even Omega never could. Now that she was here again…

With a smile, he drew her closer, softly running his talons through her hair. "I've missed you," he whispered.

She smiled peacefully, not moving or waking except to cling just a little bit closer to him.

He kept her close for a while, simply enjoying having her here this way. When he started to get tired as well, he realized he had to move. So he retrieved the projector, turning it off, and stowed it back in her pocket. Then he proceeded to carry her down the hall to her room and lay her gently on the bed. She didn't even seem to notice the change of scenery, at least not if the way she clung to the pillow instead of to him was anything to go by. It wasn't the first time he'd had to drag her into bed after a long day. It was just the first time he left the room afterwards.

He reached a conclusion then. They had crossed a lot of lines over the past three weeks, spent a lot of time together. And nothing had changed. Maybe three years with no signs of recovery was evidence of what they hadn't considered. Maybe her memories truly were gone forever. If that was the case, it was a loss to mourn…but it meant he could stop worrying. This could happen. They could have that normal romance they'd been denied the first time. It seemed too easy. But also too good a chance to pass up.

When he fell asleep tonight, he dreamed of living a life with Echo Shepard, the dream he'd been denied after London. For the first time, he honestly believed it had a chance to come true.


	12. Preamble

Chapter 12: Preamble

When Garrus woke up from dreams of the happy ending he'd been denied for so long and remembered what had prompted them this time, he raced out of the room to find his proof that it was real. Echo was already awake and sifting through a box of levo supplies when he entered the room. He didn't give himself a chance to think before he rushed over, put his arm around her waist, and kissed her.

She made no effort to question or fight him, dropping everything to lean into the embrace. After a moment, she did push him away so they could breathe, giving him a curious look. "What, did you just wake up from a nightmare or something?"

Looking in those silver blue eyes, he found it hard to think straight, so he gave her the only answer he could. "Yes. We were in the war together and I lost sight of you in a fight. I turned the battlefield upside down looking for you after it was over…but I lost you anyway." It was the truest thing he had said to her since that day at the transit station, even if she didn't realize that he had not dreamed it but lived it.

She offered a look of sympathy, moving closer to him. "I'm here. The war's over." She smirked playfully as she took his hand. "And you couldn't get rid of me that easy if you tried."

Those words turned the last three years from a painful memory into the real nightmare he was waking from. This was the only reality he wanted to live in. Just to prove that, he quickly pulled her in to kiss her again, even more joyously when she returned it. In this one moment, all the loneliness and yearning that had plagued them both so heavily for three years melted away, totally overcome with passion and belonging. They were together, unreservedly, and that was all either of them needed to know.

Echo laughed softly as she pulled away. "Careful there, Vakarian. A girl might get the impression you like her."

He laughed with her, even as his mind raced with what he longed to tell her—_I do, I _love you_, more than anything, I can't live without you_—but he set the words aside for now. It wasn't time yet. He would just have to show her how much she meant to him. And she meant a lot.

He felt freer than he'd ever been now that she was here, the war behind them for good. The selfish truth underneath it all was that he needed to forget those days as much as she did, and this was exactly what he needed to accept that. He could simply make her his whole world, spend every moment offering some gesture of adoration he longed to fill her days with, claim his purpose in life to be loving her and nothing more. She seemed the slightest bit concerned at first about his sudden vigor for affections toward her, but she didn't take long to warm to the fact that this was just how he felt about her and rarely made any effort to make him slow down. At the quieter moments, she was a beacon of hope and belonging to a turian that had known like none other what it means to be truly lost; during the moments when she returned his affections, she was the symphony that drowned out the galaxy, the air that sustained him, the only thing that mattered or existed, the reason he was alive despite a lack of Reapers to destroy. This was either a dream he would do anything to live within rather than wake from or a life he had every intention of cherishing while he could. So his every moment was spent with her in his arms, each of them a victim to the other's every desire.

Though he knew deep down that nothing lasts forever, Garrus felt like he'd finally found true peace, true happiness, with the one he'd do anything for. What they had now was the very definition of perfection in his mind, the kind that nothing could ever penetrate—

"I was wondering," Echo warily requested out of the blue, "if…I could meet your family?"

… …_crap. _He had forgotten all about that. In all the excitement of the past two weeks, he hadn't even really been talking to them that much. Of course, if she was living with him, she was going to have to meet them eventually. It was only going to keep going, like that old human story about the man rolling a boulder down a hill (or something like that, human myths weren't exactly his specialty). He really had no excuse to say "no" except that, since he'd all but told them everything that happened, they might say something they shouldn't. On the other hand, if Victus managed to go almost two weeks without giving anything away, surely Castis and Solana could manage as well for one night, right?

Right?

"I understand if you're not ready, honest," Echo tried to diffuse the situation when she saw he was tensing, "It's just…well, I've never done this before and I know it's important. I…don't have my own, so…" She could see the sympathy and sorrow worming its way into his eyes at those words, but she also saw that his tension wasn't easing. "…oh. Oh no. They wouldn't have a problem with you dating a human, would they?"

Garrus quickly snapped himself out of it. "No! No, they wouldn't have a problem with it. I mean, Dad was never particularly fond of Spectres, but he knows we couldn't have won the war without you, so…"

She nodded. "Right. So…what's the problem?"

For the first time since her arrival on Palaven, she had asked a question he outright couldn't answer. The struggle to compose a comprehensible explanation without lying to her somehow was almost painful.

Seeing him at a loss for words was stunning, to say the least. So Echo sighed, taking his hand, and said what she had to say: "Garrus, listen to me. You're important to me and I want to be a part of your life. But I can't be all of it. I know you have other people that matter to you. And I know you matter to them, so I want to…I don't know, prove I'm worthy of you." Saying this out loud proved to be nearly too much for her. It was all exposing what she was so deeply missing. "Because there's no one out there _I_ matter to but you. Not in the ways that count. And I want _you_ to be _my_ life, all of it and then some, but I know that's too much to ask—"

"No, hey, Echo…" He drew closer, his talons softly stroking her hair. Inside, he was raging that there were other people out there who cared about her but they'd been taken away from her—for good, he was now convinced. But the need to be there for her when no one else could overcame everything else. "It's not too much. I'd do anything for you."

For a brief second, she was on the verge of smirking and offering some mocking chide about how he should be careful what he offered. One look in his eyes silenced the comment before it was formed. She couldn't even imply that she would abuse what he was willing to give to her. Not when she knew to the depths of her soul she would just as soon do anything for him. It was a strange feeling, belonging to someone, especially after she had vowed more than once in her life that she would never "belong" to anyone. With him, though, she didn't want to be anything but _his_, wholly and completely.

Garrus finally drew back. "OK. We'll go by tonight."

"What?" She took a moment to remember what they'd been talking about before her sudden realization. "Oh! Garrus, no, if you're not ready—"

"No. I have three good reasons to do this. First, and probably most importantly, you asked, and I won't say 'no' to you."

She smiled softly at him making good on his word. Now more than ever, she was sure of what she meant to him.

He smirked. "Second, you're _mine_ and I want to show you off."

She scoffed, shaking her head at the urge to laugh. "And third?"

He shrugged. "I'm pretty sure they already want to meet you anyway."

She looked at him, utterly stunned. "Wait, you told them about me?"

"…I didn't have to."

_That night…_

Solana sat on the couch, eying her omni-tool. Nothing was happening, but every five minutes, she'd consider sending a message to Garrus only to persuade herself not to. In between those five minute intervals, she'd try to find something to distract herself only to somehow be reminded of her brother and his recent…obstacle. Which would bring her back to considering and refusing to contact him.

"I see there's still no word from Garrus," Castis commented as he entered the room.

"Honestly, I'm a bit worried," Solana sighed, "He's come by _once_ since he heard the news and he didn't seem like himself."

"He'll be alright, Solana," Castis assured his daughter, "He just needs a little time."

"He's had three years, Dad, and it just got tripped up. I don't think time is all that helpful right now."

Suddenly, her omni-tool beeped. Turning to check it, she found a message from Garrus waiting there. Curious, she opened it.

I'm almost there. I'll explain later. _Don't say anything._

Curiosity immediately gave way to confusion, which prompted her father to see what was bothering her. She was about to openly question what the message could mean when there came a knock on the door.

She answered it to find Garrus there. With Echo Shepard.

Obviously, Solana was shocked. "Garrus, is this—?"

"Commander Shepard?" Echo cut in, "Yeah, that's me."

Garrus took all of two seconds to give his sister a pleading look, as if to silently remind her of his message, before leading Echo in so the door could close behind them.

Solana responded with an equally brief look that demanded explanation.

Garrus ignored this—he had promised in the message that he would explain later—and turned to Echo. "This is my sister, Solana."

Echo smiled. "Oh! Hi. I'm Echo. I've heard a lot about you."

This was exactly what Solana needed to hear to turn her attention from incredulity to amusement. "Oh, have you?"

Garrus smirked to himself. These two he knew would get along well.

"Commander Echo Shepard?" Castis stepped in, "The Spectre that won the Reaper War?"

Garrus dropped the smirk. _These two_ he wasn't so sure about.

Echo, not even noticing his reaction, simply nodded as she turned to face Castis. "And I take it you're Garrus' father?"

Castis took a few seconds to send his son a glance that even another turian would find hard to read, somewhere between curious, dubious, warning, and wary.

Garrus attempted to give the same pleading look he'd given to Solana but it came out more nervous and concerned.

Castis seemed to consider. Then he gave the commander a respectful nod. "It's an honor to finally meet you."

While Echo exchanged pleasantries, Garrus sighed with relief. The worst of it was over (aside from the explanation he was going to have to give his family afterwards…). Now they just had to go the rest of the night without letting on how he originally knew her.

"So what brings you here?" Solana asked the commander.

Echo hesitated. "Well…we, uh…"

Garrus saved her the trouble of answering by reaching over to take her hand.

She smiled, clutching his talons tenderly and taking a tentative step closer to him.

Solana caught on then. "Oh, you've gotta be kidding me!" She turned to nudge Garrus in the shoulder. "You finally got a girlfriend?!"

Garrus just looked at her. "I…what? 'Finally'?" While Solana ignored the question and promptly pulled Echo aside for what could best be described as a spirited interview, Garrus turned to his father. Three years ago, he would've expected a barrage of inquiries into why he was with a human and what he was expecting to come of such a pairing. But after they all saw what the past three years had been like for him, knowing even without explanation what the cause of it was, there was no questioning what this particular human meant to him.

So Castis asked only one thing: "Are you sure about this?"

Garrus simply looked over at Echo, thinking of what his dreams had offered him and the chances of making them reality in place of the chaos that originally brought them together. "…I'm sure that I'm lost without her."

For the next half hour, Solana and Echo were peppering each other with questions that drove conversation for all four of them. Echo's curiosity about turian culture and Vakarian family history was largely rewarded, though Garrus and Solana finally insisted she stop asking questions when she asked Castis about his time in C-Sec ("We'll be here all night, really," Solana shook her head.). So Solana took over with questions about human culture, about what it was like being hero of the galaxy these days, about how Echo and Garrus had met (the answer to which drew her to send some curious yet knowing glances in Garrus' direction), and even about how human mating customs related to turian ones, which was the question to which Garrus promptly put his foot down. However, after a moment of silence, Solana found another question plaguing her.

"If you don't mind my asking…what's it like? The memory loss?"

"_Sol_—" Garrus started to step in.

"No, no, it's fine," Echo cut him off, "No one ever bothers to ask." With a sigh, she considered how best to describe it. "It's like…everything's clear and normal until a few weeks before Eden Prime. Then things start sort of…running together. I still remember what happened, but I don't remember doing any of it. It's kind of like watching a vid with only one character or something. The only other person I really remember from those days is Admiral Anderson and the last thing I remember from the war before it all goes black and resets is that he died, though I'm still not clear on how. Honestly, all of it's kind of choppy after Harbinger came down in London, it's…hard to explain, I guess."

Solana simply nodded. "Makes sense. And no one knows how to fix it?"

Echo scoffed. "No. Believe me, I checked. I went to at least four different doctors in the first two months just trying to figure out if there even was a solution, but it's not a normal amnesia and even the most normal is a bit difficult to treat. Besides, it's been three years. If they were gonna come back, they would have by now. I've accepted it. …well, not accepted it, but you know what I mean."

Garrus, impressing himself, remained perfectly stoic through all this. Even inside, he took each word in stride, as if he had expected them all. It was strange to hear from her what it was like, but it was a comfort to hear that she didn't mind the loss, even though there was no denying that it was a loss. Hearing all this, however, was making it difficult to properly put the past behind him. With a sigh and a brief excuse, he got up and walked out, searching for some solitude with which to process it all.

Echo watched Garrus leave the room, barely able to hide the concern that rose inside her. They had barely talked about her memory loss. He had been so evasive about it, as if he thought talking about it hurt her. Was it really that it scared him? …was she hurting him somehow when she mentioned it?

Solana smirked in Echo's direction as Castis also left the room. "He really likes you."

Momentarily forgetting her concerns, Echo looked at her curiously. "Garrus? How can you tell?"

"The way he looks at you. The way he talks about you. He's distracted and happier. He's usually a bit antsy when he's not shooting something or tinkering with something, but he's hardly fidgeting at all when you're in the same room with him. When you're the one he's talking to, there's a trill of attachment in his sub-vocals. And quite frankly, I've never seen him smile like that for any female turian."

Echo smiled but also turned away. Something about how obvious they were seemed…off-putting.

Solana, to her credit, seemed to notice this. "You clearly mean a lot to him."

Echo nodded. "I hope so." Setting her concerns aside entirely, at least for now, she turned back to Solana. "You two are close?"

Solana scoffed. "Hardly. …or…we weren't. I mean, we obviously care about each other, but we haven't always gotten along… Let's just say we're a stereotypical brother and sister."

Echo laughed briefly. "Let me guess. The war changed that?"

"Didn't it change everything?" Solana took a moment to consider that. "No, not necessarily for us. I think we started getting a bit closer after Mom died."

Echo grew a bit more sullen at those words. "I'm sorry."

"No, it's fine. State she was in, she probably wouldn't have made it through the war anyway. Better it happened when we were in a position to mourn. But, yeah, it changed things. Not for long before Garrus had to run off to be the big, brave hero, but they still changed. After Earth and all, he just…wasn't the same person. I've been trying to be there for him where his old friends couldn't."

Echo understood. She hoped she was somehow doing the same.

As if she knew this was what the human was thinking, Solana folded her arms and came out with it: "So you know it's for his sake and not just because humans are hard to read when I ask if you really care about him."

Echo glanced at her. "Humans are hard to read? I figured we were the easiest species in the galaxy to get a handle on."

"Maybe for asari. Not so much for turians."

Echo thought that over. "…he hasn't had any trouble." She smiled as she thought of how Garrus had been with her. He had taken the time to get to know her, even to get acquainted with her species' customs; he had been there for her when she needed a friend; he had cared about her. It seemed too good to be true, especially coming from a turian to a human, but it was real. And it was something she intended to hold onto as long as possible. "Your brother means a lot to me. I would never do anything to hurt him."

For all her apparent difficulty with reading humans, Solana couldn't deny the conviction and fondness behind Echo's words. She almost smiled as she realized that this human was actually worth all Garrus had felt for her. "Good to hear. I'm holding you to that." She let those words hang between them until Garrus came back into the room, Castis not far behind. "It's getting late. I'm sure you two want to be on your way."

Echo nodded. "Right. It was nice to meet you. We'll have to talk again sometime."

Garrus smiled to himself as he stepped over to take Echo's hand. "Why do you have to be so good at _everything_?"

She scoffed. "Careful. You haven't seen me dance yet."

He just winced when she wasn't looking. _No, no, I have._

After a few goodbyes, Garrus led Echo through the city and back to the house. He glanced at her a few times on the way, noticing that she did seem a bit happier. He tried to push it from his mind, but he knew she had made it her purpose in the war to keep as many families and romances together as possible, mourning what she didn't have and what she couldn't lose, mourning every farewell message from every fallen soldier she had to deliver to every shattered widow and orphan. He clung a bit closer to her, marveling one last time at the wonder that had given her heart to him. She didn't seem to notice as he watched her go to bed that night, as he watched the love of his life breathing softly and enjoying a rest she had long ago earned but could only now have. Once he was certain she was asleep, he dragged himself from the hall and made his way outside to send a video-call to Solana.

She was clearly waiting for a call because she answered almost immediately. _"Explanation," she demanded over the line, "_Now_!"_

Garrus sighed and began to give her the whole story, glancing at the house every so often to make sure there was no chance Echo would overhear. With every detail, Solana's impatience faded to shock. By the end, she was watching him with a disbelieving look, not even sure how to respond. "I know it's a lot, but…if she really can't get her memories back, then…" He groaned, leaning back against the nearest wall. "I don't know. I just…I couldn't lose her twice."

_Solana looked at him in amazement. "I knew she meant a lot to you, but…you really love her, don't you?"_

Even though he already knew it, it meant something to hear his sister say it. "I do. More than I thought possible."

_Solana smiled. "It is good to see you happy again." She sighed as she came to a resolution: "…don't let her go."_

This statement meant even more. After fighting so hard for so long to do exactly that, he had still been questioning if he was doing the right thing now. Hearing someone else tell him what the right thing must be was exactly the bolster his resolve needed. And thinking of Echo, of the life he wanted with her…to think of letting that slip away… "…never."

After Solana hung up to relay the story to Castis, Garrus went back inside and made his way to Echo's room. He smiled as he looked in at her sleeping form. For three years, every time he thought of her (which had been quite a lot), he had felt hollowed out inside. Now he looked at her for one second and that hollowness filled with elation and warmth. She was here and she was here to stay. Careful not to disturb her, he took her side just long enough to run a talon through her soft brown hair and silently declare how much he loved her. When he closed his eyes to sleep that night, the ensuing void was consumed with thoughts and memories of her. He realized something else just before he drifted into dreams.

He didn't need to put the past behind him. He just needed to remember that she was his future.


	13. Reminiscence

Chapter 13: Reminiscence

"OK, what's the big idea, Vakarian?"

Garrus didn't even turn from the datapad he was scrolling through to look at her when he questioned her meaning.

Which was answered with a sharp thwack on the skull by the object that incited the question.

Garrus shook it off and turned to give her a look that could be considered scolding were he not so amused (and had he not, in a way, asked for it).

Echo stood there, carrying an entire bouquet of silver, blue-tipped flowers exactly like the one he had given her weeks ago (which, notably, she was still wearing in her hair, mounted on her left ear, even as she gave him an inquisitive glare). "I mean, don't get me wrong, I can understand you wanting to do something special now we're official and all, and it was a nice sight to wake up to, but…why so many?"

Garrus simply looked at her, not sure what to say. He could so easily give a reason for every single flower in her hands—_Because I'm sorry for everything that happened with us before, because I wanted to prove I was worthy of you, because they remind me of you, because you deserve to have someone who cares about you enough to show it, because I __love you__…_ Instead of giving voice to even a single one of those, no matter how true each was, he just reached over to brush her hair behind her ear, letting nothing obscure the silver blue eyes that made the fabricated blossoms seem gray and dull.

She only needed this simple gesture to understand. She smiled softly, leaning into his hand as it came to rest on her face.

He stayed silent a moment longer, too lost in her gentle gaze to find the words he longed to give her. When he did finally speak, the only thing he could say was "You're so beautiful."

She scoffed. "You're just saying that 'cause you like me."

He smirked. "Why should that mean it's not true?"

Her eyes lit up. To hear someone compliment her so sincerely, especially from his voice, made her response seem feeble: "Has anyone told you you're the best boyfriend ever?"

He almost laughed. "No, but…it wouldn't mean the same coming from anyone but you."

She sighed. "Case in point." Before he could say anything else, she moved closer and kissed him. "Thank you," she whispered as she pulled away, her voice making it clear that she meant about far more than the flowers.

Garrus watched as she walked away to find a place to set down her gift. What was it about loving this woman that made him want to give her every star in the sky?

Turians weren't exactly considered the most romantic species in the galaxy. When it came to being in love, they focused on showing it through their protective instincts. When they truly cared about someone, they grew extremely territorial and possessive, and facing one in battle if the object of their affection was nearby would make it undeniable that they belonged to someone. But there was a reason that turians didn't have such a large amount of romantic poetry as humans and asari, and unlike with several other aspects of the typical turian, Garrus had never considered himself unusual in that respect. But that was before he fell in love. Echo Shepard brought out in him not just what other turians would do but something more…dependent. Loving her made a typical turian's behavior seem inadequate, like she should be not just defended but relied upon, clung to, _devoted_ to. Like once he knew he needed her, he couldn't live without her. Perhaps that was the true reason the last three years had been so hard on him: because trying to live without her was like trying to live in black and white silence. Seeing her now, getting the romance she deserved without the weight of war upon her, he knew more than ever that there was no one else for him.

Whereas Echo, as she leaned against the door to her room and wistfully looked over the Palaven blooms (or rather fabricated copies of such), just now realized that there was no one else for her. How ironic that it had been a turian who had given her the respect and attention necessary to win her over. Sure, there had been human males who had respected her as a soldier, who had given her attention as a hero or for her appearance, who may even have made small gestures to win her favor. But no human male had ever taken the time to listen to her or made her feel truly desired rather than simply wanted or gone out of their way to get some special gift for her yet looked at her as if she were a treasure beyond compare. In the space of a few weeks, this turian had walked into her life and become everything she could ever hope to ask for. As she laid the flowers at her bedside, where he had laid them before she woke up that morning, she sifted through her memory to every moment she had spent with him, committing them all to a safe place. She knew amnesia didn't spread like a normal disease would, but if there was even a chance she might lose more of her life, she wanted the only thing she ever remembered with absolute certainty to be that she had found someone who cared about her dearly and who she cared about in return. She wanted her one constant in life to be Garrus Vakarian.

They stayed close for the rest of the day, passing time with vids or watching the sky out the window. They barely talked, preferring to simply enjoy each other's presence. Echo eventually took his hand by the wrist and carefully removed his glove, softly caressing the edges of his plates and talons, delighting in the way his pulse leapt at her touch. He made no attempt to stop her, instead closing his eyes to lose himself in the feeling of her, the scent of her, the way her breath caught as his free hand wrapped around her waist. As the sun faded from the horizon, she leaned out of his grasp—though she still clutched his hand—just enough to turn on the projector that now rested on the nearby table, filling the room with simulated fireflies. She smiled wistfully as she leaned back into his arms, resting her head where she could hear his heart beating contentedly, sighing blissfully as his talons slid up from her waist to her hair. They laid there for what felt like both seconds and centuries, both of them wishing time could stop and allow them to stay this way forever. However, time kept passing by, forcing Garrus to nudge her gently so she would get up to go to her room before sleep took hold. She obliged, taking the projector in hand as she got up, but kept hold of his hand, silently pleading for him to come with her. So he kept hold of her and followed her down the hall to the room she had claimed.

As she and Garrus sat down on her bed, Echo adjusted the projector's settings, replacing the flicker of fireflies with a map of the galaxy. She smiled briefly upon seeing it then zoomed in to the Apien Crest and shifted the image to rest on the ceiling so that it appeared the room had no ceiling at all. "One thing I remember about the _Normandy_ is that my cabin had a skylight. I fell asleep under the stars every night." She leaned back just long enough to get a better view of Palaven's constellations, so very different from Earth's yet still with some familiar patterns. "…they're not the same now, are they? No more than I am."

Garrus turned to look at her. "Nothing was the same after the war. And just because you're not the same doesn't mean you're different. That Lazarus Project couldn't change you, not in any way that counted, and neither will this."

Echo nodded as if she was slightly comforted before she turned to look at him. "That's just it, though. Everything that ever happens to you changes you, one way or another. That's just how life works. It's the defining moments and the people in your life that make the significant difference, but everything changes you somehow." She turned away, her every movement conveying a sense of loss. "…that Shepard from the war is gone. She never left the Citadel." Then she turned to face Garrus completely, smiling as she took his hand again. "But who I am with you is what matters now. Because _you're_ what matters most to me."

Garrus couldn't help but smile at the sentiment, but the thought preceding it made him look at his predicament in a new light. He had found himself in the inexplicable position of being in love with two different versions of Echo—the Shepard that died three years ago and the one he was so close to now—but truthfully, it was another Garrus that had loved the one he lost, a Garrus that fell apart without her and never even met the Echo that was sitting beside him here. "…I know what you mean. Sometimes I feel like a part of me never left London."

Echo clutched his hand tighter when she heard that, wishing she could take away all the pain that had ever plagued him. He hadn't talked about his time in the war very much and she knew better than to ask, but hearing him admit to the effect it all had on him made her heart ache for him. Before she could remind herself not to pry, she reached out to him, softly brushing her fingers against his scars. "Is that how this happened? Fighting the Reapers?"

After he recovered from the wave of euphoria that filled him at her touch, he considered how best to answer. "No, that…that came from a war all my own."

She met his eyes with a curious tilt of her head. "What happened?"

Thinking back to that day was painful in itself. Not least because there were nights he still felt the phantom pains of the attack that scarred him but also because he remembered how she had looked at him as he laid there, too afraid of losing a friend so soon after finding him again to even notice how his azure blood soaked into her hands as she tried to help him. The image of her eyes begging him to stay with her had haunted him even before he eventually lost her. Now here she was asking him how it happened, totally oblivious to how the real scars from that day were not physical, and even if he had it in him to lie to her…this was one thing he couldn't just dismiss. She deserved to know, even if he couldn't tell her all of it.

So he sighed and came out with it: "After the Battle of the Citadel, when Sovereign died, I lost a really close friend. That and the fact that the Council was burying the Reaper threat made me lose it. I went to Omega so I could take it out on the mercs that were making life miserable for the civilians there. After two years, they decided I'd lived long enough and tried to kill me." He gestured to the scars. "This is what happened. I barely got out alive. Wouldn't have at all, but…well, I had some help."

She was stunned at first. He had been so helpless that he had tried to be a hero only to pay the price for it. She didn't want to ask about how badly he'd been hurt to be so deeply scarred by it, she couldn't bear to think of him being so close to death. But when his last words sunk in, she wondered who she had to thank that he had survived long enough to find her. "Whose help?"

He didn't meet her eyes. If he saw her eyes now with that memory hanging over him… "Another close friend. …one I lost on Earth."

She still felt her heart aching for him that he had lost so much. She resolved then and there to be a constant in his life as long as he was in hers. He deserved one. But at the same time, she was also looking at him in a new light, as if she had not truly known all of him before. Tenderly, she reached out to lay her hand on his scars again. This time, she began to slide her fingers gently over them, tracing every edge as if committing them to memory. After a moment, she turned to simply look at him. Then she drew closer, reaching to kiss the scars she now considered a mark of valor.

He moved without conscious thought, wrapping his arms around her to keep her close, lost in not just the feeling of her touch but the memory of every time she did this before. This was how she showed that she loved him not just despite his imperfections but because of them. This was how she showed him what he meant to her.

When she pulled away, she nuzzled softly against him. "You're the bravest man I've ever known."

He looked at her, confused and intrigued.

She stayed close, the look in her eyes conveying admiration beyond measure. "All you've lost and you still tried. You didn't let it break you, any of it."

He didn't have the heart to tell her that he'd been broken all the same…that she had kept him together.

"You're strong and loyal and more than I deserve. All I am is…" She stopped as she realized what she was about to say. Then she realized how much she meant it and smiled, locking her gaze on the bright blue eyes she had come to adore. "…is yours."

As he saw what she was saying, he froze, trapped from responding by shock and delight. "Echo—"

"No, listen to me. All my life, I kept my heart locked up in a little box that didn't even have a key. I figured the right person wouldn't need one. Well, you didn't. I took one look at you and tore that box open to give everything to you. Everything I am _belongs to you_ now. …and even if I could take it back, I wouldn't want to."

With every word, his mind raced. She was freely confessing that she was truly _his_. Even with all the promises they had made the first time, she had never let it get this far. She'd let him take the box whole and become its new guardian—she didn't have the luxury of doing more during a war—but…had she always intended to claim him as hers? Thinking of it now, he knew everything she had just said had been true of him for her since London, possibly even before Omega-4. It was both liberating and terrifying to give part of yourself away to someone else, but when you found the one you were meant for, when they did the same for you…

As if she could see the thoughts warring within him, she took over. Reaching out, she placed her hands over his. "What do you want us to be for each other?"

When he looked in her silver blue eyes, the warring thoughts faded away. The memories that had tormented him for so long dissipated. She had been the light of his life since the day they met, but now she _was_ his life. Her question pounded in his mind. In that moment, overcome by how he felt for her, he gave her the only answer he had ever had: "…_everything_." Before she could reply, he drew her in and kissed her like nothing else mattered. The second she reciprocated, he could honestly say nothing else did.

She reveled in every sensation as their embrace grew ever more passionate. She had never before wanted to let someone in, never mind so badly wanted to give herself over to them. With every breath spent kissing him, the defenses she had built up since birth began to crumble. When he pulled away and began to kiss her down her neck to her collarbone, she shuddered with ecstasy and gave voice to her longing: "Everything…I will. Name it." She wrapped her arms around him, keeping him close as he poured his affection onto her. "Soldier…" She leaned into his shoulder, breathing in his scent, feeling his heart pound against hers. "…caregiver…" She kissed his scars, brushing her nose against his ear. "…storm shelter…" She did it again, laughing silently as he turned to nuzzle against her, warmly, possessively. "…friend…" She turned softly to lay one last kiss at the edge of his scars, stilling him as she drew out the contact. When she pulled away, she turned again, laying her head on his in the highest gesture of affection turians could give each other. The thought that had driven her actions for the past two minutes struck her again, that need to give herself to him completely. So she smiled and offered to do so: "…lover."

It took him a moment to realize what she was offering. He had been so focused on making a life with her that he hadn't given himself time to consider what the next step was. Against his better judgment, he again recalled the night of Omega-4, how they chose to give everything to each other rather than face the risk they would both die without having felt something together. To do it now, without that risk hanging over them, should've been something worth all the wait and loss. But it was also an extremely serious step. For whatever reason, it didn't feel right, so he pushed her back slightly. "Not yet." He met her eyes, letting his longing show his true meaning. "…I want you…want _us_…but…" He sighed, suddenly remembering all the restrictions that had been placed on them all those years ago. "But we're not ready. I don't wanna risk hurting you."

She didn't move at first. Then she nodded. "Yeah. Forgot about that part." She said it hollowly, almost regretfully, not bothering to hide her disappointment. Why did everything great in her life have to have a catch to it?

He saw what she was thinking easily enough. He had fought long and hard to be with her. He had no intention of _ever_ disappointing her. "Hey…" He reached over to brush her hair back from her eyes again, allowing silver blue to meet his bright blue gaze unfiltered. In that moment, he took a risk that would make the old Shepard proud: he made her a promise and resolved not to break it. "…nothing's keeping me from you."

She could hear the gravity of his words, the promise buried behind them. She knew then and there she had chosen the right person to belong to. With a smile, she took his hand, holding it close to her heart as if to claim it. "You know _you're mine_, too, right?"

He smiled back to her, leaning in to kiss her one last time. He pulled away slowly, so unwilling to break the contact that he was still clutching her hand even as he stood to leave the room. "I always was."

Those words hung in the air around her as she watched him go. After a moment, she sighed and laid back to look up at the projection of stars on her ceiling. She smiled at the sight, even as her thoughts happily brimmed with a certain turian. When she fell asleep not long after, she was still thinking of how he looked at her, how he had touched her, how it felt to kiss him, his promise not to let anything come between them. She drifted away dreaming of his voice.

If only her actual dreams were so tranquil. In a matter of minutes, Echo started clawing at the sheets, flinching, panicking, crying out in her sleep. "Garrus…Garrus!"

Garrus heard her and came running. "Shepard!" He took her into his arms, attempting to shake her awake. "Echo, it's me!"

She finally took hold of him sharply and started out of the nightmare overtaking her. "Garrus…" She fell into him, letting him keep her close. "I saw it. I saw it all like I was there. What the Reapers did to them… I've seen it since Eden Prime, but it still feels so real…like I can hear them all screaming…"

…_oh._ The visions from the Prothean beacon were still haunting her. All the memories she lost and _that_ stayed? Well, then again, it wasn't a memory, was it? It was an imprint on her mind. Unmovable. He sighed, holding her close and wishing he could take this burden off her, wishing he could have taken it so long ago. "It's alright. It's over. …I won't let anything happen to you."

She breathed deep, taking the words to heart, letting his scent and the sound of his heart fill her and calm her until the images receded. Even when they were once more buried, she stayed close to him, leaning into him as he held onto her. Here she had promised to be whatever he needed and yet _he_ was _her_ storm shelter now.

He finally leaned back enough to look at her. "Are you gonna be OK?"

Echo just curled up, shifting from his reach and staring at the wall. "The nightmares I can learn to live with. But…what I lived through on Earth…I can't forget that."

"I thought you already sort of did," Garrus remarked.

Echo looked at him just long enough to give him a look. "I'm not talking about the war."

Garrus caught on then. "What, when you were a kid?" She answered with a nod. "What happened?"

She tensed, fighting the urge to shut down. She had long ago learned how to ensure no one found her vulnerable. But it was _Garrus_ asking. If nothing else, she owed him for sharing his tragic tale only an hour before. So she breathed. And she told him all. "…my mom died giving birth to me."

He sighed sympathetically. He'd heard that before. He still felt bad about it.

She hesitated to continue, still looking away from him. "I guess you could say that…my dad kind of blamed me for it."

He looked at her in shock. _That_ she had never shared before.

"It was pretty rough. My first memory is sitting in a closet under the stairs, though I can't remember if I was hiding or locked in. I had to learn to take care of myself pretty quick. Then, one day, he got angrier than usual. Making threats, throwing things, five feet from hurting me. I just…panicked. So I reached out for something. …and I found a knife."

That's when Garrus realized how the story ended. _…oh, spirits._ "…Echo—" He reached out to take her hand.

She pulled back. "Don't. I've had 30 years to deal with it. And I was young enough that I barely remember it. But hey, I didn't mean it. The cops understood that when they showed up. Slight problem, though: no other family. Nowhere else to put a four-year-old except foster care. And I'd heard enough horror stories about kids in the system to know I had no interest in spending the rest of my childhood like that. So I waited until they weren't watching me and I broke out. That's how I ended up on the street."

He was stunned silent. There was nothing he could say and she was in no condition to be touched. All this time and she'd been carrying _that_ around with her? It was no wonder she didn't like to talk about her childhood. This explained so much—why she was always so focused on helping others, her constant need to fix broken things, how she shied away from bladed weapons—but none of those were questions he had ever intended to ask. This was probably why. Of all the burdens he _could_ lift for her, why couldn't this be one? Fate had taken the _wrong_ memories from her.

Well, no. As she had said, everything changes you. She wouldn't be Echo without the victories but neither would she be Echo without the tragedies. He loved her too much to risk that.

Suddenly, she scoffed to herself, shaking her head. "You know, he didn't even care enough to give me a name after Mom died. Or I just repressed it because he so rarely used it and I wanted that life _gone_. Once I was out, I just named myself."

That part actually answered some questions he had never thought necessary to ask, or at least had never gotten the chance to. He'd heard several humans commenting that her name was unusual. He had even thought at times that it was unnaturally beautiful, that it fit her too strangely well. Now it made sense.

He smiled to himself as he realized this part was something he could help with. He took her hand, meeting her eyes when she turned his way. "I always liked 'Echo.'"

She smiled briefly. "I'm sure you did."

He moved closer to her, gingerly taking her hand then clutching it when she didn't pull away. "You know I'm always here for you."

The words told her more than they said. Today, she had decided he was the only one she could be with, the one she belonged to, but now she knew something far more than that. She hoped he could see that in her eyes when she turned to look at him. After all, as much as it meant to find someone who cared about you, it meant a million times as much to find someone who saw every part of you and still stayed with you, accepting every crack and fixing every break. The one who would always be there to keep you from shattering. _…I want us, too…I would be nothing without you now._

"Get some sleep," Garrus finally said, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze before rising to leave the room.

Echo quickly stopped him, grabbing his wrist and meeting his gaze almost pleadingly. "Could you stay with me?"

For a moment, he simply looked at her. She was asking for a safeguard from the nightmares' return, yes, but also for more than that. She needed him close at all times now, just like she had more and more as the war reached its climax, though it was for an entirely different reason then. The thought made him realize that they were closer now than they had _ever_ been, the memories she lost so long ago rendered all but inconsequential. And if they were so close, it was time to stop smelling the roses and start proving it.

With a smile, he reached over to help her up. "Come on."

"What?" she asked even as she followed his lead.

"If we're serious about this, there's no point in staying in different rooms, especially if the alternative helps you sleep better. We'll move your things in the morning, just come with me."

She took all of four seconds to be amazed at his offer. Then she thought of it, of spending her nights at his side, and the joy that filled her banished every fear she had. Finally, she smiled and nodded, following him through the dark hallway to his room. If every night for the rest of her life was spent with him, then all the war and chaos and death she had endured would have been worth it.

As he curled up beside her in his bed and held her close, he felt more at peace than he ever had before. Against all reason, they fit together like two halves of a whole, like nothing could ever separate them. She was taking comfort in him, if the way she held onto him was anything to go by, and that occurrence meant more to him than words could describe. When she finally fell asleep again, he took comfort of his own in her scent, her presence, the soft pounding of her heart. As he faded to sleep after her, he felt for the first time in his life that all was right with the world.


	14. Pasts

Chapter 14: Pasts

When Garrus woke up to find his arm around a human body, he thought he was still dreaming. Then he opened his eyes just enough to see that _his_ human was, in fact, lying there beside him. As he remembered the events of the past night, he felt that sense of joy and contentment he'd gotten well acquainted with the past few days swell within him. Smiling to himself, he wrapped his arm around her waist and moved closer.

She shifted, releasing a soft sigh of pleasure and sliding her hand around him. They were pressed so close together now that he could feel the soft rise and fall of her chest with every breath, hear her heart pounding gently in tune with his own, smell every trace of the scent that made him ring with longing.

Gentle enough that it wouldn't disturb her, he let his hand slide under her top to rest on the warm flesh of her back. His talons deftly, cautiously, _possessively_ felt along the curve of her spine. He could feel her muscles were still tense from the night terrors that had plagued her the night before, but he could also feel it ebbing away at his touch. As she relaxed and sighed dreamily, he buried his nose in her hair, breathing in the fragrance from the fabricated flower she had worn there so often lately, and planted a soft kiss at the crown of her skull. The action was enough to make her reposition, her leg moving closer to his. He followed her movements, his hand snaking over her hip to rest on her thigh and—wait a minute. "You're not actually asleep, are you?"

"Yes, I am."

He scoffed, delivering a light shove.

She simply rolled over and whacked him with her pillow. As he laughed it off, she smirked with a small roll of her eyes, pressing herself against him fully. "I was enjoying it too much to interrupt you."

He smiled, laying his head against hers. "Should I keep going, then?"

Her eyes lit up as she crawled over until she was practically on top of him. "I have something better in mind." So she leaned in and kissed him.

Garrus had always wondered why humans did this to show affection; after she had done it to him the first time, he had discovered why and elected to do it with her as often as possible, incompatible biology or not. He kept her close, reveling in the taste of her, losing himself in every sensation, so intoxicated from the contact that the world around them faded away. She clearly reciprocated, not breaking the embrace for one second even as her fingers nimbly began to trace the edges of his plates. The ghost of her touch made his nerve endings dance with enticement, his actions becoming more ravenous in response. Every thought was buried in her pulse, her scent, her warmth pressed against him. As his talons traced her spine once more, he reached to—

_Knock, knock._

They pulled back, more utterly confused than particularly startled.

"Did you just hear…?" Echo started, sitting up and glancing in the direction of the front door.

"Yeah," Garrus nodded as he sat up next to her.

"Expecting someone?"

"No one ever comes by here. Dad and Solana would've messaged ahead."

Echo shrugged. "Well, if you wanna answer that, I can be moving my stuff over."

"Right. Five minutes." So he left her to her task, quickly changed clothes, and went to open the d—

"One side, Vakarian!" The door had barely opened when Urdnot Wrex pushed his way in.

Tali stepped up behind him, shaking her head. "We told him to restrain himself, but he doesn't know the meaning of the words. Be thankful we didn't let him bring any weapons."

Garrus just looked at her. "What…'we'—how—?!"

"Can you blame me for being a bit impatient when there's nothing to fight?" Wrex shrugged, "Took your sweet time answering the door, by the way."

"It's his house and it's pretty early by Palaven time," Ashley commented as she strode in and shoved a bag into Garrus' arms, "I'd say he has a right to."

"Uh, speaking of which—" Garrus started to protest, tossing Ashley's bag into a corner.

"Oh, they weren't kidding when they said Palaven was hot!" Kasumi winced as she rushed in, "Why do I always have to wear black?"

"You'd think that cloak of yours could help with that at least a little bit," Zaeed shrugged just behind her.

Liara sighed as she stepped in and let the others pass her. "All this time and still bickering like children."

"The heroes of the galaxy, everyone," Joker jabbed, hobbling in just behind her and closing the door.

Garrus almost started panicking. It was definitely all of his surviving former squad-mates, Joker taking up the rear. Not what he'd wanted to see on the other side of that door. "OK…not that I'm not happy to see you all, but _what are you doing here_?"

"Don't tell me _you_ actually forgot," Jacob said, "Biannual reunions to keep in contact, the ones you've been backing out of? It's your turn."

Any other explanation and Garrus could have easily cobbled together an excuse to shoo them out, but this one made him freeze. They had been planning "reunions" on a group extranet channel, but he hadn't been up to seeing them with the weight of shared loss hanging over them and had carefully maneuvered out of joining in, finally blocking the channel. When they had noticed his absence from the connection, some of them had messaged him directly more than once with threats to stage the next meet-up at his house, which was evidently exactly what they were doing now. He had taken the messages seriously at the time since he realized he couldn't talk his way out of it forever, but he hadn't kept up with them and, given recent events, eventually forgot about them entirely. "Oh, no. That was today?"

"Yeah, it was," Jack answered, "What's your deal?"

"I, uh…well…it's just that—"

"What's going on out here?" That was when Echo Shepard came out of the hall.

Garrus winced. "—that."

It took all of three seconds for everyone to realize who was there. Those three seconds were followed by nearly a solid minute of stunned silence and poorly concealed staring, punctuated by a few sharp looks in Garrus' direction.

Thankfully, Echo seemed to interpret the shocked looks as being relative to her "war hero" status and ignored them, instead turning to look questioningly to Garrus. "Friends of yours?"

Garrus, notably, wasn't looking at any of them, even going so far as to start wringing his hands in the same nervous/guilty gesture she'd been so familiar with on the _Normandy_. "Yeah." _At least until about ten seconds ago…_

"Uh," Joker whispered in Garrus' general direction, any path to hobble closer currently blocked by the others who were all too stunned to move, "what is she doing here?"

"I can hear you," Echo scoffed, leaning against the wall enough to get a better angle on him, "I'm standing right here."

"Yes! You are. _Right here_."

Garrus was still shrinking back into the wall. What was that Earth animal that could pull its head back into a shell when it was in danger? A turtle, that was it. What he wouldn't give to do that right now.

Liara finally stepped up. "Shepard."

Echo sighed. "Well, at least there's one person here I know. Nice to see you again, Liara."

"And you. Though, I must confess, I didn't entirely expect you to be here…" She said this with a brief glance in Garrus' direction.

Let it never be said the turian didn't know when a conversation was going too far. "Echo, would you mind giving us a minute?"

Echo, likewise, could always tell when a situation was getting tense. Right now, it was clear that the best means to relieve that was in Garrus' court, not hers. "Yeah, sure." So she left the room.

"Alright," James called, "Nice meeting you." Then, the second he heard a door closing, he turned absolutely _enraged_ on his turian companion. "_¡¿QUE ESTABAS PENSANDO?!_"

Garrus winced and shrunk back again. His translator didn't always catch human languages that weren't Alliance Standard, but he could still somehow tell James was screaming "What were you thinking?!" Back to the turtle.

"What is she doing here?!" Jack demanded, "What happened to leaving her alone?!"

"Why didn't you say something when we were walking in?!" Kasumi followed suit, "Having all of us in the same building is only gonna make it worse!"

"She's not—" Garrus started to explain.

"Unbelievable!" Ashley snapped, "You give it the big talk about how it's better for her that we all stay away and then you turn right around and bring her back in without telling anyone?! So much for turian honor! Of all the 'do as I say not as I do'—I ought to take Wrex up on his offer to feed you to a thresher maw!"

"Are you done?" Garrus groaned as she calmed down.

She took a second to catch her breath, already prepared to keep going. Then she took a moment to consider, realized that yelling about it wasn't solving anything and that he was taking it anyway, and sighed. "…yeah, I'm done."

"Good," Miranda countered, "Because I haven't even started!"

Garrus groaned, all the restraint he had now occupied with not biting back, no longer even bothering to pay attention to who was saying what as they all stopped waiting their turn to yell at him.

"This has to be the stupidest thing you've ever done!"

"You should've told us!"

"_She_ wouldn't have done this to _you_!"

"I realize we are all fragile right now," Samara finally stepped in, "but we should remain calm. She will hear us."

"Maybe it'd be better if she did," Joker shrugged, "Obviously, _he's_ not gonna tell her anything."

"Jeff…" Liara started.

"No!" Joker ignored her, turning a sharp glare Garrus' way. It wasn't often they saw the jovial pilot angry, but right now, he was _fuming_. "After what happened to EDI, I thought we'd all agreed to back off. Turns out, you just found yourself a nice amnesiac _pet_!"

That particular comment sent Garrus over the edge. "That's too far, Moreau!"

"Enough!" Liara cut in, grabbing Garrus by the arm before he could attempt retribution, "All of you! This isn't about us, it's about Shepard!" When three seconds passed with no argument, she took a deep breath and stepped back, releasing her hold on Garrus. Her words had had the intended effect, the same effect Shepard herself once would've had on them all just by her sheer presence, and she took the opportunity to speak up. "You all agreed to stay out of her life to protect her, in case you've forgotten."

"In case _you've_ forgotten, T'Soni," Zaeed stepped up, "some of us only made that call because Vakarian here did!"

"Then the question becomes why Garrus has, after _three years_, let her back in."

Seeing Liara's point, all eyes turned to the turian in question.

Garrus sighed. "Liara sent me a message that she was coming to Palaven for the deliberations with the Primarch. I hadn't seen her since I left London, so I went to the transit station and…she _recognized_ me."

That bought their undivided attention.

"Her memory's coming back?" Ashley inquired.

"No, it was just because she saw me in the hospital the day we all left. She didn't realize we'd actually met before and I didn't have the heart to tell her. We were going the same way anyway, so I figured I could have five minutes and that'd be it. But she tracked me down before I left and…I just couldn't push her away again."

None of them could say anything to that. Now that they were past the initial yelling phase, it was hard to be angry at him after hearing how he'd been brought to this position. A few of them even thought through it enough to doubt that they would've done any different than he had, especially when they knew what she had been to him.

"It's still selfish," Joker shook his head, "I mean, you obviously haven't told her about any of us, so how come _you_ get to—"

"It's not that I haven't told her about any of you," Garrus corrected him, "I haven't told her about _us_." That silenced them all. Garrus let out a defeated sigh as he fell back against the wall again. "Nothing's changed. Nothing at all." Though he stayed somber enough on the outside, he was inwardly battling with the mourning he thought he'd finally been free of. He had accepted that she might not recover, but seeing the crew here, the family she deserved and lost, made it hard to remember that. As he reminded himself why he'd accepted it, he decided it was best he tell them so. "And after all this time, she still doesn't remember _anything_…I don't think she ever will."

"'After all this time'? And this has been going on for how long?" Wrex stood up, "Over a month? You've had plenty of chances—"

"Let's be fair," Liara pointed out, "I've been in contact with her since you all left and I've never even told her _I _knew her before the war." Once again, she let the words speak where Shepard could not, ready to take action if they proved to be inadequate but finding that they were enough to silence any argument. After she had done this, she turned to Garrus. "You're certain she's past recovery?"

Garrus nodded sadly. "It's just been too long. She's been in contact with you the whole time and after everything we've done…like I said, nothing's changed."

Liara was saddened to think of it but reminded herself this was why they had all walked away that day. "Then…then it's safe for us to be around her. But we can't say anything. Telling her about what she lost if we know she can't have it back…we just can't."

As the others debated within themselves whether to consent to this plan or continue arguing, Samara took note of one person in particular. "Tali? You have been silent. Do you have anything to say?"

Tali didn't answer at first. She knew better than any of them what Shepard and Garrus had meant to each other, how hard it had been for Garrus to walk away, how much he'd been going through after losing her that way. After he had left the hospital, she had paced and paced for hours, pondering whether she should follow him or try to help Shepard recover without his help. She'd finally admitted to herself what the others knew, that only Garrus would be able to make any real difference, and raced after him, not even sure what she would say when she caught up to him. She had come back to the battery on the _Normandy_ to find he had already cleared out his belongings and gone to join the Primarch's company until they could return to Palaven. She had known then and there that his decision was made and he couldn't spend any more time in any place that would remind him of his love as long as he couldn't have her. But now he was back with her anyway, finding a way to be with her despite the memories so cruelly stolen from her. No, Tali didn't dare try to make any decision about what the right answer was in this situation. Still, she knew one thing: "…what's important is that Shepard is happy." She turned to Garrus. "Is she?"

Garrus remembered the way Echo had looked at him, the things she'd said the night before, the light in her eyes when she smiled at him. All of that should be proof enough, but he knew he couldn't speak for her feelings. He only knew how deeply he felt. "…I hope so."

So Tali moved closer and asked what the others wouldn't. "Are you?"

This answer was easier. True, it was hard carrying the weight of her lost past, but it was worth it to take some weight from her shoulders for once. He knew he loved her and he finally was being allowed to live a life with her. "Happy" couldn't hope to match what he felt to be so close to her after all they'd been through. "Yes."

Tali smiled softly behind her helmet. "Then there is no reason for us to stand in the way."

Argument over. None of them could disagree with Tali for long, especially not when she was right. A few of them clearly weren't happy with this outcome, but their options were too limited to object. Echo was there. And if she really was past all hope of recovery, there was no risk in coming back into her life.

"Uh…hi?" Echo had just walked back into the room. "Am I coming back too early?"

Garrus took her side. "No. You're right on time."

Joker, leaning against the corner of the back wall, nearly smirked. "Yeah, she's always had a knack for that."

"I'm sorry?" Echo called.

"Uh," Joker caught himself, "I was just saying…you're Commander Shepard, right?"

She sighed. "Yes, I suppose I am."

"Which means," Garrus quickly redirected the conversation, "everyone here knows who you are and you don't know any of them."

"Just Liara."

"Then allow me to correct that," Liara stepped up.

It only took a few minutes to introduce her to everyone. None of them could deny it was strange having to talk to her as if she had never known any of them, but most of them managed to readily adopt the tactic Garrus had been using of telling the truth but carefully leaving her out of it—even if it had felt right lying to her, all of them trying to keep a story straight would have been so difficult it would give them away immediately. They started when she asked how they all knew each other and they realized that the only acceptable answer was the more-or-less honest one that they had all served on the same ship over the course of the war. Obviously, she was curious how so many different species had all served on the same ship, which led to Ashley outright stating that she was a Spectre and the war wasn't a time to be picky on squad-mates. The whole tactic would've fallen apart had Echo gotten the chance to ask which ship it was, but Grunt managed to change the subject just in time.

"This small human female is the champion of the galaxy?" he questioned, astonishing the others with how he managed to keep his battle-master respect out of the obvious challenge, "She couldn't defeat a bunny rabbit!"

To which Echo promptly utilized her typical strategy for dealing with bothersome krogan: head-butting them as if she was one.

Grunt immediately started laughing. "Never mind. I like her!"

Tali smiled to see Echo slowly making friends with them all again. When she had a chance, she stepped over. "So, Shepard, is it true you were originally trained as an engineer?"

Echo nodded. "Yeah, I got pretty good with the tech side of things as a scavenger. Since I was also pretty good at fighting by extension, it just went from there, but I do still prefer fixing things to blowing them up."

Tali just barely kept from laughing. That was quite a statement considering how much Shepard enjoyed blowing things up. "Well, if you don't mind, I've been working on something that needs a little fixing."

"Oh. If it's the geth, I draw the line—I am by no means qualified as an AI tech and those repairs are too important."

"No, no, it's just some algorithms for the automated systems we're setting up until the geth are back online. We're trying to achieve the highest efficiency possible from just using the materials we can salvage from the fleet."

Echo perked up then. "Oh! Why didn't you just say so? Here, let me see." She quickly pulled Tali aside and started exchanging data over their omni-tools.

Joker shook his head when he saw this. "Good to see some things don't change." He sighed. "We should probably start spreading out."

While the squad was going to retrieve the things they'd brought, though, Garrus took one in particular aside. "Liara. If you didn't want this to happen, why'd you bring her here and then send me that message?"

Liara hesitated to answer. "Truthfully? I couldn't get around bringing her here, no one else in the Alliance was both qualified and available. I sent you the message to warn you, in case being in the same place with her would prove too painful. I suppose I was hoping you would take the chance to see her. …I'm actually glad it worked out this way."

Garrus gave all of four seconds to ponder what might have happened had he not gone to the station that day. If he had simply resigned himself to a life that he knew would never be complete without her, never even knowing that she was past the point of no return and needed him as much as he needed her. The new memories they'd gained made their first love seem…not enough. When he looked over at Echo now and saw her talking to Tali just like the old Shepard used to, he smiled. "Yeah. Me, too." _…_better_ than old times._

Maybe fate was on their side after all.


	15. Confronted

Chapter 15: Confronted

"I'm just saying, reformatting this code could seriously boost your weather protection gear."

"Rannoch is a bit arid, you might recall. The weather protection systems are not near as important as the agricultural ones, at least not until everything is growing regularly or the geth are rebooted."

"Well, don't say I didn't warn you when the first dust storm dehydrates all your crops."

Samara smiled to herself. Since she claimed no possessions, she had nothing to sort as the others were rummaging through their packs. Until such time as the others had completed their sorting, this left her free to meditate in a quiet nearby corner. This corner was within earshot of Tali and Echo's ongoing engineering exchange, and the justicar could not help but take some joy in hearing the two speak as they once had. There was something comforting about it, like the stars shone brighter when a joyful Echo Shepard was in the room. And no one made Echo happier than Tali did.

"Samara?"

Well, almost no one. Samara ceased her meditations just long enough to stand and face the one who was speaking to her. "Yes, Garrus?"

"I didn't mean to interrupt or anything," Garrus said, "I just wanted to thank you for helping everyone keep their heads back there."

Samara nodded. "There is no need to let discontent spread among friends. I doubt Shepard would want hers to surrender to it, especially for her sake."

Garrus glanced over at Echo and Tali, still too intently focused on their data and brainstorming to notice what any of the others were doing. "No. She wouldn't." He sighed, turning back to Samara. "You didn't say what you think about all this. Do you think I should've stayed away?"

Samara seemed to take a moment to ponder this. "It is not my place to decide what the right or wrong thing to do would have been. All I can know with certainty is that Tali spoke true when she said what matters is Shepard's happiness. And I know that you love her and care about her happiness more than anyone." She gave him her utmost attention, choosing her words carefully. "But I also know that love makes people do foolish things. Selfish things. I cannot say you did so, but neither can I say you did not. The only one who can judge your actions is you."

This answer was one Garrus could understand. It was not what he needed to hear, but it was what he had been honestly thinking. He took the words to heart—he didn't have to defend himself to the others, just prove to himself that he had been acting in Echo's best interests as well as his own. As Samara returned to her meditations, Garrus turned to look over at Echo. This time, she noticed him looking her way and glanced back, smiling when she saw him. He smiled back. That was all the proof he needed. She was happy. That was all that mattered.

"…and that's restricting our flexibility on programming the stabilizers, which is why this algorithm has been giving me so much trouble," Tali was saying as she scrolled through the code on her omni-tool.

Echo turned back from her silent exchange with Garrus to investigate the code on her own. "Wait. Why didn't you just do this?" She pressed a few buttons, switching some numbers around.

Tali checked the alterations against her own readings. She seemed shocked. Mostly because it was something she would never have thought of…that worked _perfectly_. "I could hug you right now!"

Echo almost laughed. "Just a trick you learn as a scavenger—when thinking outside the box isn't enough, turn the box inside out."

Tali did laugh. "I should remember that one."

Echo was about to respond when her omni-tool beeped. "Oh. Hold on. Alliance call." She quickly turned to answer it, stepping off to the side.

Garrus came up in her place as Tali turned off her own omni-tool. "You two fell right back into step without a single nod to before. I'm impressed."

Tali sighed. "We always worked so well together. She never really spent much time in the engineering deck, but whenever we had an issue that needed fresh eyes, we always called her, even before EDI. For the past three years, I've been programming systems, organizing reconstructions, even assisting Admiral Xen with the geth. And every time I hit a snag…my first instinct was still to call her. …and then I'd remember I couldn't…and it'd be like losing her all over again."

Garrus couldn't say anything to that. He had known Tali was her best friend, that the two of them were closer than anyone, but he hadn't realized how much it must have hurt Tali to lose her captain that way. Now he was wishing he'd kept in touch more. "I can see why it was straight back to business."

Tali smiled. "Yeah. I've missed that."

As Echo finished the call and hung up, she turned to look back over at Tali, finding Garrus standing beside her. She smiled slightly to see the two of them talking and apparently reminiscing. _I wonder how close they were._ He did seem to be paying more attention to his quarian friend than to any of the others. Even now, as she seemed to let the reminiscing fade to somberness, he stayed at her side. …taking her hand. _…oh._ No, Echo quickly shook it off. _Quit jumping to conclusions, Shepard. It's nothing._ So she walked over to retake her seat beside Tali.

Garrus looked over at her as she came closer, noticeably withdrawing from touching Tali. "Everything OK?"

Echo nodded. "Yeah, just routine calls. Apparently, I'm considered 'deployed to Palaven' at this point."

Garrus smirked. "Well, the magnetosphere takes some getting used to, but I can think of worse stations."

Echo scoffed. "No kidding. You should've seen some of my posts during the Blitz."

"Yeah, well, anywhere's better than Omega."

Joker then came up to the couch and dropped a bag he had just carried in. "No, no, I got it, you guys. No need to give the guy with the brittle bones a hand with his luggage. No need at all."

"I did offer, Jeff," Liara shrugged.

"Nah, you'd just take it as a chance to show off." Then he thought that over. "Actually, if you had been showing off, you probably could've brought all the bags in here by yourself _with your mind_."

"Well, not in one trip."

"Still impressive," Joker shrugged, leaning on the counter and reaching for a snack—

"Hey!" Echo snapped, all but slapping his hand away, "_My_ chocolate!"

Joker wisely stepped back, holding his hands out in surrender.

She simply sighed, shaking her head and rolling her eyes as she took the snack for herself. "You know, if these guys are sticking around for more than one day," she tossed over her shoulder to Garrus, "we're gonna have to seriously add onto that next supply run."

Joker took all of three seconds to realize what she was saying. When he did, he tensed up again and finally convinced himself to just air this out. "Garrus, could I talk to you for a minute?"

Garrus, unlike Echo, caught onto where this was going. None of the others seemed at all interested in intervening and he knew they had to get this out of the way as soon as possible, so he nodded and led the hobbled pilot down the hall to the room that Echo had vacated the night before.

The second the door was closed, Joker let loose. "She's _living_ here?! Are you out of your mind?!"

"Joker—!" Garrus started to interrupt.

"Oh, no! I need to say this! Ash was right, this is straight up too far! We all agreed to stay out of it for Shepard's sake, yet here she is, _living with you_! You just get to walk out of her life completely and then, _three years later_, magnanimously decide it's been long enough that staying away doesn't matter anymore?! Well, that's awful convenient for you but awful unfair to the rest of us! You should've told us what was going on or kept up the disappearing act, because whatever you're looking for here, you're looking in the wrong place!"

Garrus simply stood there, watching him, barely minding a word he said even though he was clearly listening and possibly even agreeing. Finally, he said what he knew the _real_ problem was: "Still nothing from EDI, then?"

Joker wasn't expecting this to be the response to his tirade. Hearing her name threw him. It was hard to stay angry when he did. "…no. Nothing. Three years and nothing. Tali's tried helping a few times, along with most of the techs in the Alliance, but…nothing's worked. She's just…shut down. Just like the geth. …one more thing the Reapers took."

Garrus cautiously stepped closer. The pilot had been as fragile emotionally as he was physically ever since the war ended, but they all knew that he would be worse off alone. It was why they had included him in all their "Shepard's squad" communications, and it was why Garrus was putting a comforting hand on his shoulder now. "We all lost her, Jeff. …both of them."

Joker sighed. "I know. It's just…it's not fair."

"No. It wasn't. But that was why I couldn't let Echo blame herself. If _those_ memories came back, if she thought that she had sacrificed a friend and an entire species just to stop the Reapers, it would have torn her apart. I just…I was doing what I thought was best for her. When she came back into my life anyway…" Saying it out loud recalled every rebuke he'd given to himself since that day, every time his conscience snapped at him to stay away only for him to end up brushing it aside the second she had him convinced it wouldn't matter anymore. "…it was selfish, letting her back in. But if it'd been EDI…"

Joker saw where he was going. "…I would've done the same stupid thing, yeah." He groaned. "I'm sorry for dumping on you back there. It's just…it's been hard." He leaned back against the wall for a moment, only now appreciating how similar the pain of the past three years had been between the two of them—both having lost a dear friend and a true love in the same short span of time and forced to live wondering if they'd ever come back but certain they never could. He sorely missed the days when his common ground with Garrus had been tossing jokes back and forth on the bridge of the _Normandy_. He shook his head as he thought of how life had turned on them. "Nothing is ever easy, is it?"

Garrus had gotten far too used to those words being true. But at the same time, he had learned rather well the reason why. "Nothing worth having, no."

Joker simply nodded. "Yeah. Easy is boring." Keeping that thought in mind, he promptly turned to finish what he wanted to say. "Just remember, I care about Shepard, too. We all do. You take this too far and hurt her, we'll be on you 'til the day you die."

Garrus smirked. "I'll keep that in mind." With that, he nodded to the door and started to lead him off.

Joker took a second to find his footing before following him to the hall. "Then again, this is Shepard we're talking about, so she'd probably break you before we even got there."

"I mean, I wouldn't put it past her…" After they had left the room, though, he turned and caught sight of her at the end of the hall, still deep in conversation with Tali but now spreading some attention to the others. Without the weight of command hanging over her, she was bonding with them all so quickly, so gleefully. They were starting to see her how he did now: vibrant and joyful and free—not Shepard, just…Echo.

Joker noticed this. To his credit, he saw it exactly how Garrus did and how Garrus was seemingly immobilized at the sight of it. Echo or Shepard, though, there was one last thing bothering him about this whole scenario. "Aren't you gonna tell her, man? She doesn't have to hear all of it."

For less than a second, Garrus actually entertained this thought. It would be so liberating and so _right_ to finally confess what he'd been carrying, what she had lost. But that second ended all too quickly, suddenly reminding him why he never could. "No, Liara was right. Telling her what she had—what _we_ had—when we know she'll never be able to remember it…it's too cruel. I can't do that to her." He hesitated to voice the rest of it, but the thought that he would have to keep this secret from her forever was too heavy to keep silent. "No matter how much I wish I could."

Joker flinched at those words. Something had been weighing on him, as well, and now was as good a time as any to attempt to let it loose. "Look, I…there are some days that I regret what I said back at the hospital. That I realize it might be what convinced you to leave."

"Jeff—" Garrus immediately started.

"And sometimes I still believe it," Joker continued as if his turian friend hadn't said anything, "But other times…I think she'd want to know. No matter how much it hurts."

Some part of him knew this. Distantly, he could remember hearing some human saying about losing love being better than never having it. But then he'd think of how she would react, how much that "hurt" would bear down on her, how hard it had been for her to live through it, let alone _re_live it…and the nightmares and tears and debilitating remorse… "…she might…but I can't watch her break again."

Joker was stunned by those words. They had all known that Shepard wasn't handling the war well, that Garrus had been her storm shelter, but neither of them had ever outright mentioned it to anyone on the crew. For Garrus to admit now that it had been even worse than they thought…there was no debate to be had. He sighed, wishing things could be different. "Samara's right. Love. Stupid and selfish."

Garrus watched as Joker made his way out of the hall and back to the room the others were gathered in. He did wonder what Joker had been talking to Samara about that would have made her give him the same words she'd given to Garrus only ten minutes ago, but he mostly focused on the words themselves. He was mostly concerned with how true they were. "Yeah. Every time."

Any somberness was swiftly degraded by Echo's cheerful presence, the warm and friendly spirit they had all so badly missed once more alive in their midst. She seemed to feel slightly out of place, like she was intruding on a bond between crewmates, but the rest of them clearly felt such a bond was incomplete without her, the commander that had forged it to begin with. The day passed more naturally and happily than it would have without her.

"Sun's going down," Jacob noted upon finally looking out the window, "We should probably start planning to turn in."

"Right," Miranda sighed, "Who's sleeping where?"

"Oh!" Joker jumped up, "Dibs on the room with the actual bed!"

"Hey!" Ashley snapped, "What if I want the bed instead of the couch for once?!"

"Uh, handicap advantage?"

"You do this every time!"

"Well, maybe one of us should get a bigger house!"

"I wasn't exactly intending to have people here when I got the place," Garrus pointed out, just barely keeping from snapping at them.

"If you've got Spectre status working for you," Echo shrugged, "why not just bring your ship for these little reunions?"

They all hoped she couldn't tell how they tensed when she said this. In all the conversation and laughter, a few of them had even temporarily forgotten why she had left. Suddenly remembering this might have been painful had it not come with an even more painful reminder. Their ship. The _Normandy_. None of them had set foot in it since the relays were repaired. At first, it had been because it didn't feel like the _Normandy_ as long as EDI was silent. Then it had been because the ship itself seemed vacant and hollow in the absence of its commander. Even looking at it and thinking of what they had lost and how it had been taken from them was hard to bear. Not that they could explain any of this to Echo or even tell her which ship it was. So how to respond to her question then?

"It's just, uh…" Ashley finally answered, "…too much history."

Echo could hear the grief in the soldier's voice. She knew the war had been hard on everyone involved. And she remembered Garrus mentioning he'd lost a friend on Earth. It was likely there'd been more than one loss. She wouldn't want to be in a place that reminded her of that either. "Right. Sorry I asked."

"It's fine." As Echo ducked behind the counter to sift through a cupboard, Ashley sighed and let the true reason out beneath her breath: "It was yours, after all."

Garrus might not have heard this, but he knew they needed to change the subject. Then he looked at Tali. "Did you need us to set something up for you?"

"Actually," Tali said, "I brought a personal transport and I was just going to sleep there. I've been trying to sleep without the suit since we've started reacclimatizing to Rannoch's environment, and it's easier and healthier with circulation systems already set to familiar conditions."

"Are you sure? I can kick Joker out and pressurize that room for you if you need the bed."

"No, no, it's fine, I already set up a bunk and everything. But thanks…it's nice to know you're still looking out for me."

Echo found her interest drawn by those words. Without changing position, she looked over at Garrus and Tali. She couldn't see Tali's expression behind the mask or tell how Garrus was looking at her from this angle, but she could see enough. They were close, she knew that. But she hadn't realized they were _that_ close. _…maybe I wasn't jumping earlier, after all._ With a sigh, she pulled herself together, finished what she was doing, and got back on her feet. "I'm just gonna leave you guys to it. You know where to find me." Before anyone could respond, she made her way down the hall to the room she now shared with Garrus.

Garrus watched her carefully as she left the room. None of the others noticed it, but he could see she seemed disquieted, like something was bothering her.

"It's really not the same," Miranda sighed, "but…it's nice to have her back."

Liara smiled. "Yes. It really is."

Echo, in her own way, felt the same. She hadn't expected to ever meet Garrus' crewmates from the war, let alone enjoy being around them, but she had. However, she was a bit too preoccupied with her newfound concern to consider that. As it was, she was leaning against the wall, looking through the window at the star-filled sky above.

After everyone had claimed a place to rest for the night, Garrus stepped in, letting the door close behind him before he said anything. "Everything OK? You seemed a bit…well, upset."

"No, I'm not. Honest. I just…" Realizing she had to air this out, she sighed, turning to give him her full attention. "OK, I'm gonna ask you something. And I know you'll be honest with me, but I want you to realize that the answer is not gonna bother me one way or the other."

Garrus was curious but also concerned. "What is it?"

She hesitated at first, but as always, her curiosity got the best of her. "Was there…something…between you and Tali?"

At first, he gave her a questioning look. "Me and…" Then he realized what exactly she was asking. "_Me and Tali_? No! No. No, no, no. …well, maybe. But _no_."

She just looked at him, clearly thinking such a strong and somewhat confused response deserved an explanation.

He sighed and consented to give one: "We've just been through a lot together, more than any of the others, and she's probably the best friend I've ever had. So, yes, she's special, but it was never anything serious."

To her surprise, Echo didn't draw any relief from this answer. In fact, she only now realized that jealousy wasn't the reason for her reaction to her apparently only half correct observation. Coming to terms with this realization, she took a seat on the bed and attempted to put her true concern to words. "Well, why not? I mean, like you said, you went through a lot. You get along really well and you seem to be really important to each other. I know there was a war on and everything, but that usually just… I mean, you're both smart and strong and open and…you're actually compatible. Biologically and otherwise."

To his credit, Garrus quickly caught on to what she was implying. He quickly took her side, determined to dispel this concern entirely. "Echo, I hope you're not about to suggest you're not enough for me."

"No, I wasn't going to. I just don't see why, over the course of _six years_, nothing came of what's clearly a pretty good match but then you meet me, a human, and we're well beyond serious in a matter of five weeks."

There was clearly more to it, but he knew better than to press her—she would address the worst of it once she had the reassurance she needed. But this particular issue was not one he had been prepared to deal with. He hadn't even considered it before. Now that he thought about it, it was pretty obvious what made her think of it. She was even making him wonder if there was a possibility it could have happened that way had Echo Shepard not entered his life before Tali could, but it was too difficult to imagine a life without Echo Shepard for him to picture it. "I know Tali and I work well together, but we've never thought of each other that way. …and maybe some part of me just always knew I was meant for you."

She smiled briefly, taking those words to heart. Then, upon perceiving they'd been exactly what she needed to hear, she put aside any other questions she might have to attend to an issue that suddenly seemed far more pressing: "OK, that does it. How are you so perfect for me?"

He just blinked. "I'm what?"

"Seriously! All my life, no human male who's taken an interest in me has ever actually made me happy. But then along comes a turian and from day one you've always seemed to know just what to say to make me all giddy—which is _not_ a word typically associated with your average Spectre." Then she thought that over. "Well, I guess there are no 'average' Spectres, but you know what I mean."

He did know. He always understood her. Maybe that was part of what was making her think all this. But for once, understanding wasn't enough to give him an answer. "I don't know what to tell you. I just knew I cared about you and I wanted to do everything I could to make you happy." The events of the day were weighing on him, all the things that Joker and the others said pressing on his mind, drawing him to give voice to a thought he wished he could keep silent. "Sometimes I think even that might have been a mistake."

Echo quickly turned to give him some semblance of the reassurance he'd been giving her. "Don't get me wrong, we're clearly perfect for each other. And I do like to believe in the concept that everyone has someone out there they're meant to be with—it's too big a galaxy for anyone _not_ to. I'm just still trying to figure out why the person fate apparently chose for me just happens to be a different species."

There was a time Garrus would've been worried the species barrier between them was a problem for her. There was a time—shortly after he had affirmation she would never care about what he was more than who he was—he would've been ecstatic that she outright said they were perfect for each other. But that time was before London, before the promises they made that were snatched away from them. Promises including but not limited to starting a family. "Biology might not cooperate" was ringing in his head again, one of several reasons he had walked away all those years ago. He made no assumptions what was running through her head right now, but as she said, they were beyond serious now and those promises couldn't stay that far away for long. "Echo, if something is bothering you about us—"

She scoffed. "Bothering me? No, even if I wasn't fine with things like this, I'm pretty sure the two of us could handle anything life wants to throw at us by this point."

That…that sounded like the Shepard he knew. He smiled to think of it, of how the best of her stayed unchanged, and remembered anew why he had always believed her when she made this assertion. "Yeah. You and me…"

"…unstoppable." With a smile, she leaned in and kissed him. As they slowly fell into each other, she let the last of her worries fade away, every piece of her drawn into the feeling of his skin warm against hers. A soft moan of pleasure escaped her as his hands pressed against her waist and she let her tongue slide out to tangle with his—

_Knock, knock! _"I'm right across the hall, you two!" Joker's voice crossed the door, "Keep it PG!"

Echo groaned, leaning back completely. "Twice in one day. Of all the mood-killers…"

Garrus shook his head. "Don't worry, they can't possibly stay in the same house for more than two days."

She barely kept from laughing. "I don't know. Sounds like family to me."

He simply sat there as she moved to finish preparing to turn in. Family. It had been so long since he had considered his squad-mates that way. It hadn't seemed right anymore without their commander keeping them together. But today had changed all that. They'd all gotten back that sense of belonging. They were more than a crew again. If all went well, she would have brought them together for a second time, this time without even knowing it. After all, family just meant the people who cared about you and stuck with you through the hard times even if they constantly got on your nerves. So the _Normandy_ crewmen? "…yeah…I guess it would."


	16. Surrounded

Chapter 16: Surrounded

Garrus was no stranger than being woken by an alarm. Military wake-up calls, standard alarms before a C-Sec shift, communications relayed through EDI that he was needed for duty, and, of course, Commander Echo Shepard softly nudging or kissing him. But the sound that woke him this particular morning was unfamiliar in that sense. It took him a moment to realize it was the actually-quite-familiar sound of two krogan pounding face-plates. Repeatedly.

He groaned. "It wasn't a dream."

Echo sighed as she rolled over beside him, coming to rest on her side facing away from him. "One of us should probably go make sure they don't break something."

He simply waited a moment, listening carefully. "Nah, they've already quieted down. Samara's probably playing peacekeeper again."

She smirked. "This happen often?"

"Well, we were only ever all in the same place at the same time for one night of shore leave, but…like you said. Family."

"Clearly." She repositioned, pressing closer to him and allowing him to place one hand gently on her waist. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you weren't happy they dropped by."

He stayed silent for a moment, breathing in her scent, feeling the warmth of her soft flesh beneath his talons, listening to her heart gently pounding… "…I am…I just want you all to myself."

She smiled to herself, nestling in as if to go back to sleep in his arms. "Fair enough."

He followed her example, closing his eyes and letting himself drift away, the sensations he was so attached to filling him completely. As he turned to copy her position until her back was flushed against him, he let the hand resting on her waist slide under her top, his talons enticingly tracing the nerves across her abdomen.

Her breath caught at the feeling, returning only as she released a sigh of pleasure. Seconds ticked by where she felt she couldn't move, too overcome by how he could affect her so easily. When she did draw herself to move, her hand reached up behind her to blindly trace the markings on his face.

Just her touch stoked the fire rising within him, drawing him to move even closer. His hand wrapped around her waist entirely, coming to rest on her hip even though it was still pressed into the mattress. His foot moved up to brush tantalizingly against her own. His sub-vocals hummed as he leaned to rest his head over her collarbone, his mandibles flaring against her neck.

She smiled so deeply she almost laughed. The fingers that were so tenderly ghosting across his face shifted to the plates below his fringe, holding him in place so she could lean back and lay a trail of kisses across his markings. "We should…" she whispered into his ear between kisses, "…should really…rein it in…while we've got company."

He scoffed, the hand not tight against her hip reaching around to caress her face. "Honestly, I think they're expecting worse."

She laughed this time, quietly. As the words sunk in, though, she stilled, considering if she should let "worse" happen. Her hand fell from its current position to instead draw him to face her. Silence fell as their eyes met, as if time had stopped for them. Then they moved in sync, pressing themselves together to kiss with a passion no other love could hope to replicate.

Hearts pounding, lungs aching, the burning need to get closer, faster, deeper—it was beyond joy. Echo had never felt joy in her life like she did simply being held by the one she belonged to. As his affection poured out on her, his hands still clinging to her hip and shoulder blade, she felt weightless and adored, an incomparable sensation that put every drug in the universe to shame. She knew she was treasured in a way no one else ever could be, she knew she would do anything for him, but most of all…she knew—

"Hey, Vakarian!" Ashley's voice suddenly came through the door, "If you're done ravishing the princess in there, we could use a hand!"

Echo sat up in the bed, folding her arms and glaring at the door. "Did she just call me a damsel in distress? I'm tempted to take offense to that!"

Garrus smirked, shaking his head as he got up. "She likes to…what's that term? 'Push people's buttons'?"

Echo almost snickered. "OK, that I can relate to."

Five minutes later, Garrus came down the hall with Echo holding onto his arm. "What's the problem?"

"Zaeed's insisting on fixing up the security on the house," Miranda shook her head, "We're just trying to make sure he doesn't touch anything he's not supposed to."

"I'm telling you, you can't be too careful," Zaeed asserted, "All we gotta do is put a tripwire in the vents."

Garrus sighed. "What's that other term? 'You can take the soldier out of the war'…?"

"Something like that," Echo smiled as she reached around to kiss him.

"Ugh," Jack shook her head, "Get a room, would you?"

Echo just gave her a look. "It's our house."

Garrus smirked before hesitantly removing himself from her grasp and heading over to his old squad-mates. "Why the vents?"

"To be fair," Kasumi shrugged, "that's usually how I get into a place."

"See?" Zaeed gestured, "Always the little ones you gotta watch out for."

"Who are you calling small?"

Garrus groaned. "Alright, we can have another go at trapping the entry points, but promise we'll stay out of the kitchen this time."

Echo shook her head at the scene, amused, before stepping aside. She was about to attempt pushing past Grunt to find breakfast when she saw Tali reentering. She was surprised how happy she was to see the quarian, but she also had one outstanding issue with her that needed to be resolved. So she waited until everyone else had their attention focused elsewhere and she pulled her new friend aside. "Hey, can I ask you something?"

Tali nodded, following her to a more private corner. "What is it?"

"Uh…you and Garrus—"

Tali immediately realized where this was going. "Oh! No! No, no, no, it's not like that!"

Echo sighed, the last of her worries about the subject relieved. "It's fine, he already made that clear."

Tali relaxed. "Ah. Good. It's not that he's not…well…we're just really close, but not in any way that—"

"_Tali_! I get it! It's alright!"

Tali just took a deep breath, hoping the last of her tension (or was that mortification?) could escape through it. "Right."

"I just wanted to ask you…" She hesitated at first, not sure how to ask this, but she never was one to hesitate for long. "I mean, from what I hear, you've known him longer than anyone else here. …what was he like before the war?"

Tali was startled by the question. It was the last thing she would've expected to be asked. She could understand Echo wanting to know more about him from someone else who knew him and cared about him, but she wasn't sure how to answer. Especially given these particular circumstances. "Well…what has he told you?"

"Not much. I know he lost friends. I know he nearly died on Omega. …I know that he doesn't like talking about it."

Tali sighed. "No. He doesn't." She glanced over at Garrus, finding him too focused on negotiating trap configurations with Zaeed to even notice the two of them talking. She considered the question for a moment before devoting her attention to Echo and deciding to tell her everything Garrus wouldn't: "He hasn't changed much in the ways that matter. He was always easygoing and kind and focused on serving justice. It's actually why he left C-Sec, because he thought he wasn't being allowed to do enough. But after the Battle of the Citadel…well, things changed for all of us. A lot of us went our separate ways for those two years, which is when he went to Omega, tried to play vigilante. I think that just made things worse when he lost his team."

Echo gave her a look of shock then. "His _what_?"

Tali froze. "Oh! He didn't tell you that part?"

"He…well, I don't think he was keeping it from me or anything, he just didn't mention it."

"I see. Like you said, he doesn't like talking about it." She sighed, realizing she was going to have to explain this. "I never met them, but he did have 11 other people helping him on Omega. The day the mercs came after them, they caught one of them and…well, the other ten didn't make it out. And I guess you heard the rest."

Echo glanced sadly in Garrus' direction, eying the scars she'd been admiring so well. "Yeah, that part I got."

Tali nodded. "He was angrier after that. Some part of him broke. He was obsessed with hunting down the one that betrayed them and making him pay."

Echo turned to Tali, the concern growing inside her clear in her eyes. Vengeance never solved anything and she didn't want to hear that Garrus let himself cross that line.

Tali noticed, of course. She'd been there when Shepard had talked him down. "Don't worry, he didn't take it that far. He saw reason in the end. But it stuck with him. He seemed less closed off, sure, but he was clearly a bit haunted. And then his mother died, Palaven fell, the war hit…"

"…and you lost a friend on Earth."

Tali shrunk back then. "Yes…someone special to us all." She was thankful for the mask then, hiding the mournful way she glanced at Echo as she said this. "He sort of shut down after that. He hasn't really talked to us since." She remembered the closed off way he had taken part in their group communications, clearly not interested in talking to the very people who reminded him what he'd lost. What they'd all lost. But then she looked at him now, once again conspiring with Zaeed and even tossing a few jokes around, and she smiled. "But now, with you, he's starting to seem like himself again."

Echo took those words seriously. To be the one that healed his pain even after losing so much was an honor to rival what he had given her, one she couldn't take lightly.

"You're good for him. He needs you."

Echo smiled. "I'll try not to let him down."

"Honestly, I don't think you could."

Echo then glanced off to the side. "Uh…why is he looking at me like that?"

Tali turned to see James watching Echo as if he was expecting her to go off at some point.

James suddenly seemed to notice he was technically staring at her and jumped. "Uh, I…" He rushed over to explain himself. "Sorry. Sorry about that. I was just…trying to…think of a…good…nickname for you."

Echo simply looked at him. "I'm sorry, what?"

Tali sighed. "He does this to everyone." She rolled her eyes. "I'm 'Sparks.'"

Echo just barely kept from laughing. "I see. Do I want to know what Garrus' is?"

"Scars," James answered.

She stopped trying not to laugh there. "Very creative."

"I try."

She turned to face him, folding her arms expectantly. "Well, go on then. What do you have for me?"

He simply looked her over. He had been so convinced of "Lola" during the war, but calling her that now didn't feel right. She had changed. She was still the "hot, tough, dash-of-crazy" type at her heart, but she wasn't weighed down and forceful like she'd had to be for so long. She needed a new title. So as she eyed him almost provokingly, he considered what did fit. Vibrant, playful, free-spirited, impossible to catch in a fight, at home in the stars… He smirked at what he settled on. "…Firefly."

Echo's smirk turned to an almost shocked look. "What?"

"Oh. Do you not like it? 'Cause Hummingbird also came to mind—"

"No, no. It's…it's perfect." How ironic that, after she had so many childhood dreams of lightning bugs and a dream-worthy night with Garrus in a simulated field of them, one of his friends would find it ideal for her. Her smirk returned as she turned back to Tali. "He's intuitive, this one."

Tali scoffed. "That's not usually a word we'd use to describe him."

James feigned offense. "Ah, come on, Sparks, I thought we were friends."

Just like that, the next hour was spent with Echo deep in friendly conversation with Tali and James, which gradually began to include Liara, Samara, and Wrex, while Garrus and Zaeed continued to plot potential traps and even implement a few of them, Kasumi all the while bouncing between making sure they restrained themselves and helping them test out a few of them. With so much going on, it was only when Garrus and Zaeed had to slow down to argue about the kitchen genuinely being off-limits that they noticed Ashley, Grunt, and Jacob ducking in and out of the house.

"Am I going to regret asking what you guys have cooking back there?" Garrus finally asked.

"Shooting contest," Ashley smirked, "That hole behind your house is a perfect firing range. We've almost got enough targets set up. You coming, Vakarian?"

Garrus shook his head. "No, I'd better—" But then he turned around and found himself on the receiving end of a tossed object. He just barely caught it, quickly checking what it was.

His Mantis. The one that saw him through Omega and Menae. The one with which he issued his challenge to Shepard at the top of the Presidium. The one he took to London as a sort of good luck charm. …the one that was damaged by that last shot from Harbinger, that he spent the better part of two days repairing to distract himself from the grief that the love of his life was MIA.

The one he hadn't touched in three years.

"Echo, I—" he quickly started trying to put this apprehension to words she would understand.

"Come on!" she pleadingly cut him off, "I haven't got a chance to see you in action yet. And from what I hear, you're a pretty good shot with that thing."

"'Pretty good'?" Wrex scoffed, "I've seen him crack the head-lamp off a geth at 200 meters. Never seen any other turian shoot that straight."

"I saw him take down two Cerberus troopers with one bullet," Liara added with a smirk, "And from what _I've_ heard, it wasn't the first time."

Garrus just barely restrained himself from repeating his assertion of "the third guy had a heart attack, not fair to count him." He was hardly feeling that cocky now. Touching the gun in Echo's presence was making something inside him tense up and run cold. He started to set it down, turning to tell her—

"Please?" Echo said, "For me?" Of course she'd say it. _Of course_ she'd give him that look that she knew he couldn't say "no" to.

He still hesitated, but he knew he wasn't getting out of this one. "…might be a bit rusty."

"If they just described you at peak, 'rusty' is still gonna be impressive." The tone in her voice as she said that implied she would've replaced "impressive" with "attractive" had there been no audience. Not that he had any reason to believe the squad didn't also pick up on that.

Next thing he knew, he was leaning against the edge of the crater as the others retrieved their weapons and started showing off their skills on any target they could find (mostly a bunch of bottles, he noted, also wondering where they came from). They had all apparently been keeping in practice, peacetime or not, and seeing their old tricks brought back memories from the old days that weren't painful to look back on, memories that didn't even require Shepard's presence, memories of countless firefights they spent trading kill counts and setting up each other's combos and trick shots. When the time came for him to step up, he almost felt like he was ready for the action. So he had Echo get a target for him and toss it as hard as she could, and he sniped it from midair almost the second it flew past his scope.

"What'd I tell you?" Echo nudged him, "Impressive."

"Eh," James shrugged, "I've seen better."

"Oh, have you?" Garrus retorted. He would have been goaded had he not picked up on the teasing behind the remark.

"If I may…" Liara stepped up. She then proceeded to use her biotics to raise the next bottle and fire it at full force.

Garrus still shot it down without issue.

James scoffed, shaking his head. "Come on, _I _could make that."

"Alright, if it's a challenge then…" Garrus said, already searching his scope for a new target, "There." He leaned to let Echo peer through the scope. "See that lizard on that rock over there?"

It took Echo a few seconds to see what he was talking about. "What? Garrus, come on. I can barely see that. There's no way you can—"

Bang.

A far-off reptile flew back, curling up as it fell off its perch to the dusty ground.

Echo simply stared in dumbfounded shock.

Miranda smirked, shaking her head. "First lesson you learn on a team with this guy: never tell him the odds on a shot."

Echo snickered. "Clearly."

Garrus smirked back. "Why don't you have a go?"

"Because I've literally never touched a sniper rifle?"

"Come on," Jacob chided, "Let's see the great Commander Shepard in action!"

"Seriously, my specialty is whittling down defenses and pistol trick shots. I'm not so sure if—"

"They will keep pleading until you concede," Samara noted.

Echo considered this for a moment before groaning her consent, taking the Mantis from Garrus' hands, and aiming down one of the bottles. She took aim…she breathed in…she fired…

…and the shot went wide, anticlimactically striking a tree on the other side of the field.

Garrus just blinked. Well. Now he was wondering if she really had thrown that shot on the Presidium or if she genuinely knew he was better and was missing her precious Carnifex. Or maybe some combination of the two.

Echo growled in frustration. "Told you."

Ashley nodded. "Right. I'll get an extra pistol."

Garrus wisely stepped back and said nothing even as Echo was handing him back his Mantis. _Definitely_ some combination of the two.

Once Echo had a pistol in her hands, though, she seemed to get her fire back. She knew every tech attack in the book and was more than happy to show them off even as she demonstrated those "trick shots" she was so proud of, such as one particularly impressive display of bouncing a shot off of one bottle to the one directly beside it. If they didn't already respect her, her skill would've won them over, not to mention the way she seemed to make this entire "contest" more fun afterwards. Hours passed of them making ridiculous challenges and trading battle stories from the war and even teaching each other new tricks. It was only as the sun started setting that they agreed to call it a night and head back inside.

But as Echo passed Garrus, she reached to quickly whisper in his ear: "Let's get out of here when they turn in."

Garrus smiled to himself as she made her way back into the house. This was turning out to be a pretty good day.

An hour later, as their guests all found a place to sleep, Echo and Garrus snuck their way to a transport and went back to the cliffs where they'd had their first kiss, once again lit by twin moons over the sea.

Echo sighed wistfully as she looked out at the view. "Still beautiful."

"Yeah," Garrus stepped over to wrap an arm around her waist, "but I get the feeling we didn't come for the view this time."

She smirked. "No, I guess we didn't." She reached into her pocket and pulled out the projector, tossing it to him. "I just wanted some time alone again, but I'll leave it up to you."

Uncertainly, he turned on the device and started scrolling through the settings. He would've been content to simply stay there in silence, enjoying the view almost as much as he enjoyed her, but since she'd already brought it, he had no reason to simply toss it aside. For a minute, he considered the options available to him, not wanting to detract from the ocean view for anything but the fireflies that he decided couldn't possibly top their previous performances. Suddenly struck with an idea, though, he smiled to himself and turned from visual projection options to audio ones.

Echo gave him a curious look when she heard a song start playing. "Is that turian?"

"Surprisingly, yes, even the 'war-birds' have some classical music."

"OK. And…why is it playing?"

He answered by sliding the projector into his pocket and holding out his hand.

When she caught on, her curious look turned horrified. "No! No, no, no! I told you, I can't dance!"

"Yes, well, I'm the one who's supposed to be leading and there's no one around to make fun of you but me. So indulge me anyway?"

She groaned but realized it wasn't an argument she could win and took his hand, letting him draw her in. "Don't say I didn't warn you if I step on your toes."

"I think you should be more concerned about me stepping on yours," he remarked as his free hand took position around her waist.

She glanced down at their feet. Her boots weren't as thick as his and turians had talons on their feet as well as their hands. "…point taken."

As fondly as he remembered their dance on the Citadel, there was something special about this. Even if their motions were hesitant at first, they were intimate and wonderful. It didn't take long for Echo to warm up to the concept and truly fall into it, leaning closer to him and laughing softly when the simple steps began to be interspersed with twists and turns. With a smile, she spun out of his reach and then back into him, coming to rest with her back pressed against him and his arms wrapped around her. They stopped moving there, her leaning back into his grasp, him feeling every edge of her abdomen.

It was only when the song came to an end and silence settled over the cliffs that they remembered what they were doing before they fell into this embrace.

"Do you want me to put on another song?" Echo commented.

Garrus simply nuzzled against her. "Up to you. I'm fine just like this."

She smiled, laying her head back on his shoulder and looking up at the stars. For the first time in three years, the things she had lost weren't plaguing her mind. She was _happy_. That happiness filled her, demanding to be acted upon. "…I…" But the words died before they ever reached her tongue.

He gave her a curious look. "What?"

She turned to meet his eyes. "…I…" She wanted to say it, to say_ something_, but her voice failed her, fighting that need like she once would've fought a Reaper. Why was this so hard?

He reached one talon up to stroke her hair, hoping to ease the tension brewing inside her.

The gesture was appreciated, naturally, but all it did was make her fall back into him, this time moving into position to kiss him.

Not that he cared this hadn't been the intention.

When they separated, Echo met his eyes again, lost in his piercing blue gaze, in the feeling of his talons along her waist, in the ghost of the kiss still hanging in the air between them. She was so lost that her thoughts again demanded to be voiced. "I—" She stopped herself at the last second yet again, fear threatening to grip her throat if it could stop the words from escaping. Before Garrus could attempt to coax it out of her or chase away her anxiety, she breathed deep, resolved to address it some other time, and reached to take the projector back. "…should probably pick another one after all."

Garrus noticed the deflection. "Echo, is something bothering you?"

"No! No, it's nothing, I just…" She sighed resignedly as a new song started (this one human). "This…us…everything has been…_wonderful_. And…everything great in my life has had a catch to it or been taken away from me. I just feel like, if I let this get too far…I'll lose you."

He sympathized with this sentiment. Or rather empathized, since he had once been the one to feel that way for her. "Echo, I am _not_ leaving you." _…not again._

She smiled briefly, knowing it was true but not willing to rely on words. He was special to her, clearly, but there were some things that couldn't be controlled. And those were the things she had always been most afraid of.

Seeing the struggle within her, he tried a different tactic. "Besides, I'd like to think I _am_ the catch."

She scoffed, fighting the urge to laugh.

He answered with a soft smile. Then he took her side again and began to gently stroke her hair. The sensation was calming enough that she let her fears lessen. For a moment, she closed her eyes and let the feeling of his presence fill her as her chosen song continued to echo out. She was certain that this was the first time in her life that she'd been truly comforted. She might regret the need for it, so determined not to be vulnerable anymore, but she still liked it.

Finally, as the song she'd picked was ending, Garrus turned to check the time. "It's getting late. We should probably head back."

She remained silent, turning off the projector and sliding it back into her pocket as he took her hand to lead her back to the transport. She stayed silent for the entire trip home, but she also kept her hand firmly in his grasp. It was only when they were sneaking back in and he signaled that he needed to check something that she agreed to separate. And even then, she was reluctant to let go. As she left him alone (well, in the same room most of the others were sleeping in, but still), she cradled her hand as if she still felt his touch there.

Once Echo was down the hall, Garrus turned to give a half-scolding look to the corner by the door. "Still spying on us?"

Kasumi let down her cloak. "How do you two keep doing that?"

Garrus simply smirked, shaking his head at her. "I see you haven't changed."

"Someone's gotta keep an eye on you two, sneaking out and coming home late," she scoffed, folding her arms. But for once, her teasing, playful air began to dissipate. "…she's different. Probably forever. But…she still loves you."

This meant something. Kasumi had always been the one to see these things. She had also been a special kind of confidant for Shepard during the days leading up to Omega-4, possibly even the one who had convinced her to work up the courage to ask Garrus out in the first place. If she was making these observations now and approving, it _meant something_.

"Just…don't do anything stupid."

Garrus just barely kept from laughing and possibly waking some of the others. "I'll try not to."

Kasumi nodded, smirking at him. "I'll be making sure." With that said, she turned her cloak back on.

Garrus gave a curious glance to the space she was just standing in. "You're not gonna sleep?"

"Not in the same room as Zaeed."

Garrus smirked to himself before heading down the hall to join Echo. As they lied down to rest for the night, they noticeably stayed close. They were different. But they would always be looking out for each other.


	17. Lingering

Chapter 17: Lingering

It was all black for so long after that last strike from the Reaper. Then she suddenly remembered again, just a brief moment when her eyes opened and someone standing at her bedside excitedly rushed to check equipment and spread the word. She was in and out of consciousness for some unknown amount of time. When she finally woke up and realized where she was, she was conflicted. On the one hand, she was glad to be alive and recovering and all. On the other hand, _she was in a hospital_. She had been up for about five seconds when she tried to crawl her way out of the bed.

"Easy there, Commander," a doctor immediately tried to push her back, "You're still in recovery."

"Tried" was the operative word there. She swatted his hand away, though she did take the suggestion to sit back. "What happened?" she asked, her voice still weak even as she pulled together.

"You were caught in an explosion turning on the Crucible," the doctor explained, carefully stepping back, "You've been almost comatose for a month."

The words refused to sink in. A month? She quickly started searching her mind, trying to piece together the events that led up to this. She couldn't remember turning on the Crucible. She could barely remember being in London. It was worrying, but it would probably clear up if she just gave it time. She was more concerned with not being in a medical detention center (as she so endearingly termed it). "How long until I can _leave_?"

"You do seem to be physically recovered, at least for the most part. However, we did detect some damage to your hippocampus in the brain scans, so we'd like to test your memory before we make any definitive calls."

She sighed. It sounded fair enough. It might even help her ease this jumble in her head. "Fine. Go ahead."

It started simple enough. Her name was Commander Echo Shepard. She'd been born on Earth and grown up an orphan. She'd enlisted on her 18th birthday and joined the Systems Alliance Navy. She had served as the captain on the _SSV Normandy _and led the charge that ended the threat of the Reapers. Details from her service record came easily enough. She had more than enough detail on her childhood, but they didn't have the records to test that info. She would have been happy to call that it and start pushing them out of her way so she could clear out of the building, but she instead groaned and all but fell back against the wall when they explained this was a two-part test.

"Active memory seems intact," the doctor observed, "Let's try personal." So he switched files in his datapad and started reading off a new listing. "Does the name David Anderson ring a bell?"

She couldn't help a small flash of a smile coming free at that name. "Yeah. He was kind of my mentor. I was his XO for a long time." She thought that over for a moment, a single fragment of memory from the day of London tugging at her mind and at her emotions. "…he's dead, isn't he?"

The doctor was somber as he nodded. "Yes. They found his body not far from where you were recovered. I'm sorry."

She simply nodded to accept the condolences and turned aside. Grateful as she was that she didn't remember presumably watching him die, he was still gone. It was bad enough being stuck in a hospital without spending the whole stay grieving.

"Alright, what about the name Jeff Moreau?"

She thought it over for a moment, turning it over in her head. "It sounds familiar. I can't remember where I might have heard it."

That was when the doctor started to look worried. "Kaidan Alenko?"

She gave him a curious look. "That I've never heard before. You sure that's a real name?"

Now the names started coming almost rapid fire. "Ashley Williams?"

She shook her head. "No."

"James Vega?"

"Uh…no."

"…what about the Illusive Man?"

She scoffed, almost laughing. "OK, now you're just giving me comic book characters." When that comment was met with silence, she forced back her amusement and turned to look at the doctor again. The look in his eyes said it all. "…what is it?"

The doctor hesitated for a moment before setting the datapad aside and giving her an attentive look. "Commander, think carefully. Do you remember who was with you in London or on Eden Prime? Some of the diplomats you worked with during the war? Any of your crew on the _Normandy_?"

She started thinking it over, fully prepared to say that obviously she did. But as she took the time to sort through it, she started to see the problem. Worry and fear clutched her insides, driving her to sift through every memory of the past three years she could find. She tried and tried, reaching for _anything_ she could find, but it was clear just why things had been so muddled when she woke. No matter how much she wished it were otherwise. "…no." Saying it should have made the tears start falling. Instead, she suddenly felt hollowed out. This was such a profound and intricate and frankly unprecedented loss that her emotions didn't even try to form a true reaction. That would come later, when she was isolated enough to freely cry and scream and break.

The doctor sighed. "The damage isn't significant, but this sort of amnesia is unusual. I'll check with some of the other doctors about how to treat it. You should be recovered enough by then that I can see about getting you cleared to go." He seemed to realize there was nothing else he could say and got up to leave.

At first, she kept trying to put pieces together. She didn't have many to go on until she realized that the names he had given her might have been some of them. That just made it worse when she tried to recall what they were and realized how difficult it was for a human brain to file away information it didn't recognize. She really was empty. So she simply sat there, curled up on a hospital bed as if it wasn't the absolute last place in the galaxy she wanted to be, staring at a wall, still searching for some small piece of what felt like a whole life she had lost.

And now, three years later, she stood on Palaven, replacing the life she lost with one she could never bear to lose. Echo had woken up early this morning, spending about 15 minutes simply lying there and enjoying the sight of Garrus clinging to her. When she dragged herself out of the bed, she had come over to stand at the window, leaning against the wall and looking out at the horizon. Ever since, she had been watching the sky change colors with the sunrise and thinking back to that day. She hadn't let herself remember that day in so long. As if blocking out the memory would make the lost ones hurt less. Why was it bothering her now?

She sighed as the answer came to her, drawing her gaze to drift briefly toward the bed that Garrus still lay sleeping in. This was why. She had found a life she wanted to keep and there were lines to be crossed that stood in the way of that. Last night was haunting her as much as that day in the hospital was. Words she couldn't say no matter how much she wanted to or meant them. Emotions she couldn't name or even admit to. …a nightmare where she saw him and didn't know who he was. She was finding people she could genuinely come to care about here (though one was clearly more significant than the others), but that brought with it some fears she had never had to face before. Well, at least not that she remembered. Fears like losing them. Fears like repeated trauma, her semi-amnesia turning real. …not to mention insecurities, like saddling the turian she had given her heart to with someone _damaged_. That particular thought threatened to bring tears to her eyes, but she pushed them back. He'd made it clear he didn't care, human or turian, hero or civilian, damaged or whole. She was _his_ and that was all there was to it. But nothing lasts forever. And forever was all she wanted with him.

Maybe when she handed her heart over, she should've kept a leash on it.

Just as this thought struck her, Garrus began to stir.

She quickly retook his side, wrapping her hand tenderly around his.

He smiled at the contact. As he woke up, he turned to meet the silver blue eyes he loved so well. "How long have you been up?"

She couldn't help a small smile at the sound of his voice, the look in his sapphire eyes, the way he returned her touch. "I don't know. But it's been awful lonely."

"Well, we can't have that." He quickly wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back into position against him.

Her small smile turned into a true one as she settled back in. There was something to the feeling of how he held onto her. Something like coming home.

"What's wrong?" he asked as he stroked her soft brown hair.

She took a moment to think how best to explain it. But when she thought back to the memory that had been plaguing her only a few minutes ago, she discovered that, ironically, she had forgotten why it was bothering her. Forgotten the second he looked at her. "…it doesn't matter." She sighed contentedly as she nestled herself in his arms. "Just don't let go."

Of all the orders he'd taken from her over the years, this was the one he would most gladly obey. He held her tighter, taking her words to heart. "…never."

They came out of the room on their own terms that morning, still holding hands and smiling as they made their way down the hall. It was worth the teasing that inevitably followed (they'd been expecting it anyway).

"It's nice to see you two so happy," Liara beamed as Echo sat down beside her with a bowl of fruit.

"Believe me, it's nice to _be _happy for once in my life," Echo remarked.

Liara watched her for a moment. If she didn't know Shepard so well, she might have missed the subtle sadness behind the gleam in her silver blue eyes.

Echo finally noticed her asari friend looking her over and stopped moving. "What?"

"Nothing, it's just… Are you OK? You seem a bit…weighed down."

Echo was silent at first. After a moment, she turned to glance Garrus' way, finding him already back in a sort of planning session with Zaeed. She smirked at the sight before taking it as confirmation that her turian would not overhear and, with a deep breath to steady her nerve, turned back to Liara. "I'm just reconciling some irrational worries. You never know to fear oncoming amnesia until you've experienced it."

Liara saw her meaning and attempted to reassure her. "It took _a lot_ to give you the first case and even then the symptoms were incredibly contained. You're one of the strongest people I've ever met, so much that brain damage barely slowed you down."

Echo responded by removing all pretense of hiding the sorrow in her eyes. "Then why did I feel so lost for so long?"

This confession hurt. There was a reason Liara had reestablished distant contact without telling her they had met before. Mainly it was so she wouldn't feel guilty for using Shadow Broker resources to spy on her former captain, but mostly it was to keep in touch and prove in a way spies never could that the commander truly was happy without them. Yet it was only now, three years too late to address it, that she was hearing anything to indicate otherwise. Echo had learned far too well far too long ago how to guard her emotions. She'd been comfortable. Not happy.

It was probably best she not mention that part to the others, just like she had resolved not to mention the past to Echo.

But there was something else in the confession that made Liara spark with hope. "I don't know what to tell you…except that I can't help but notice the past tense."

Echo took a few seconds to process Liara's meaning before she found herself smiling her sorrows away with a brief glance back to Garrus. "Yeah. He has a way of putting things in perspective." She truly did smile now as she realized with full clarity the one thing that truly drew her to him: "And he has a way of fixing broken things."

Liara smiled again. "They say love changes your whole world."

Echo scoffed. "I'm starting to see why they'd think that."

That was all Liara needed to hear. She laid a comforting hand on Echo's shoulder. "It's clear you need each other. And if I know either of you at all, you won't let something like a few missing memories get between you. You deserve better than that. So even if you never get back one second of what you lost, you'll have him…and if he matters to you as much as I think he does, it'll be more than enough."

Echo took those words to heart. "Thank you, Liara." She sighed as she returned to the fruits she'd set aside. "You know, as glad as I am we met, I wish you'd have introduced me to your friends sooner."

Liara decided not to say anything to that.

It was relatively quiet until Tali reentered. To the surprise of several of them, she immediately went over to talk to Joker in private for a few minutes. When that conversation was over, she turned, to the surprise of absolutely no one, to enter an animated conversation with Echo that was peppered with tech talk and engineering jokes. James did question Joker about the first exchange but received only a shrug and a "trading favors" comment in answer before the pilot shifted his attention to his omni-tool to send a private message. The marine was clearly unsatisfied but figured there was no point in pushing.

With Tali and Echo radiating laughter and excitement on the other side of the room, it didn't take long for the former crewmates to return to reminiscing and teasing and bantering and, in Grunt's case, tossing around a few challenges. The conversations eventually absorbed each other so that all present were clustered in the main room, enjoying each other's company in a way they hadn't had the chance to since the party on the Citadel all those years ago.

Of course, they were also reminded of that night by the way Zaeed and Garrus were once again debating security plans.

"I'm telling you, it's too easy to get these windows open from the outside," Zaeed was saying.

"I see your point," Garrus replied, "but I don't know of any way to block it off without sealing them completely." Then he seemed to brighten with an idea. "Unless we get some pressure sensors…"

"Now you've got it!"

While the others were shaking their heads or simply ignoring this debate, though, Echo sat there, smirking at them.

"What?" Zaeed finally asked.

"I'm just picturing you two going into business together—'Vakarian-Massani Home Security.'"

Ashley laughed with her. "'Guaranteed clone free.'"

Echo answered that part with a curious look. "'Clone'?"

Ashley was speechless for the first few seconds. She wasn't sure why that comment would be an issue, but she was still hiding a small bout of panic as she tried to come up with an answer. "Well…I mean, it's mostly with you in mind and we heard you have a history of that particular problem."

But Echo just kept looking at her, curiosity turning to genuine confusion. "What…what are you talking about?"

Now she had the baffled attention of everyone in the room.

"I thought you still remembered everything that happened to you after Eden Prime," Liara stated as she sat down beside her.

"No, I do," Echo assured her, "At least…for the most part."

"There were reports from your last shore leave on the Citadel before the assault on Cerberus HQ. Your accounts were being hacked, and you and your crew were targeted by someone who turned out to be a clone of you produced by the Lazarus Project. You really don't remember that part?"

Echo thought for a moment, coming up blank. "I really don't. I barely remember being on the Citadel at all during the war except for the coup." All this time, she'd thought she knew exactly how much she'd lost, but there was more to it. There was always more to it. How had she not heard about this before now? It was only when she remembered what Liara had said earlier about not letting her condition get the better of her that she finally shook it off. "Probably just too close to the point things start getting hazy. Not like I haven't lost worse."

But as she stood up and went off to the kitchen, the former squad exchanged a few concerned looks. She didn't remember being on the Citadel much? She'd been on the Citadel at least once a week during the war! If she hadn't been running around doing errands for C-Sec or the ambassadors or some random war consultant, she had…been…spending time with them. Right. That would make it a gray area in terms of her specific brand of memory damage. The events of the clone's attempted assassination might have seemed objective enough to remain untouched, but they had been targeted as well, not to mention it had been wrapped up in a week of nothing but spending time with them, and that went well past "gray area." They'd evidently underestimated how complex her condition was. No wonder recovery had been so difficult it was now apparently impossible.

Garrus quickly turned back to inspecting the window, even though Zaeed was barely showing interest in doing the same. He was suddenly thankful he hadn't been asking her what she remembered.

"I, uh…" Tali finally said, "…I know we don't wanna talk about it, but…how much longer are we planning on staying?"

Miranda sighed. "We should probably start planning to head back, actually." After she'd said it, she cast a glance towards the kitchen as Echo was sifting through drawers. "No matter how much we might not want to."

"No, it's getting harder," Joker shook his head, "We'll start talking and I'll think it's just like having her back but then I remember I can't tell her that…" He sighed, tossing an apologetic glance to Garrus. "I don't know how you've been doing this for over a month, man."

Garrus didn't have the heart to tell them the reason he could. Because she had been his release as much as he had been hers, because he had let himself properly forget, because he hadn't _let _himself dwell on what they'd lost. All he cared about was having _her_, lost memories or not.

Though when his gaze drifted back to them all and he saw Tali and Liara glancing at him every few seconds, he couldn't help but think at least one of them could see all this without having to hear a word.

"What's the conversation on now?"

Garrus nearly jumped. He hadn't even heard Echo come up behind him. Apparently, neither had any of the others, if the way they continued the conversation in question as if she still wasn't in the room was anything to go by. _What, did Kasumi show her the cloak trick when I wasn't looking?_ He just shook it off—it was hardly the first time she'd snuck up on him, after all. "Just discussing plans about when to head out."

Echo actually seemed disappointed for a moment. At least until she sighed and took his hand. "Well, the sooner they go, the sooner it's just the two of us again."

Garrus smiled. It would simplify things, yes, but mostly he shared her sentiment of again being solely with the love of his life. "That's one way of looking at it."

Echo sighed, leaning against him. "I think they liked me. Does this mean I'm part of the family now?"

She couldn't see it, but the question stirred something inside him. Not happiness, per se, more like…_rightness_. Like home. She did belong with all of them, in a way, not just with him. Family had always been the one thing she truly wanted in life and she had found it with them. Now she had them back in her life, despite the worst life could throw at them. Not only that, but he had slowly come to realize he had also missed them in a way, even if not as much as he'd missed her. This, what they were being given now, seemed…well, perfect. He'd always been so wary of that, almost as much as she had, knowing how perfect was so attached to impossible that any moment you think you've achieved it can be shattered with a safety pin. But this was a special kind of perfect, a sort of imperfect kind, that had been too hard won to be shattered so easily. And they'd all proven it. Together. Not "just like old times" after all. Just like _family_.

So he smiled again as he nuzzled against her. "Wouldn't be the same without you, love."

* * *

I actually got inspiration for that "Vakarian-Massani Home Security" joke from a t-shirt design on Redbubble, so props to the designer for that. :)


	18. Crossing

Chapter 18: Crossing

It was pretty clear the squad was somehow simultaneously rushing to pack up and dragging their feet when they finally decided it was time to head home. In fact, it was also clear that Garrus and Echo were both hesitant and anticipant to send them on their way. Even after they finally had all their belongings in order, a few of them still claimed to have business to clear up before actually saying goodbye and heading out. Joker had left the room a few minutes ago to take a call from some contacts at the Alliance, then Echo had hurried down the hall after a quick trip outside without letting anyone ask what she was up to. After the two of them were out of the area, Liara had stepped aside to check Broker feeds, Wrex was muttering something about spending as much time away from krogan females as possible, Kasumi was refusing to come out of her cloak so much that they'd outright lost track of her, Zaeed was in a corner cleaning his gun as if he expected to need it on the way to the transit station, and James was scrounging what was left of the levo food selection. Samara was the only one not making some attempt at stalling their inevitable exit, though she had elected to pass the time until the others stopped doing so by meditating in the corner opposite Zaeed, and Tali was not helping matters by sitting next to Garrus and rambling about her laundry list of engineering quandaries.

"Or maybe I should ask her to look over my combat drone specs," Tali was saying, "I mean, not that I'm not happy with Chatika, but she used to do such amazing tricks with hers—"

"Tali," Garrus finally cut in, "you already traded spec notes the night before Sanctuary. She'll either ask where you got those codes or make some joke about how you clearly don't need her help."

"Well, maybe if I just say I looked at hers by accident while we were going through codes earlier and I was trying to recreate some of it—"

"_Tali_! I get why you're trying to drag this out, but surely Rannoch isn't _that_ lonely."

Tali sighed sadly. "…there's a difference between 'lonely' and 'alone.'"

Garrus could empathize with that, seeing as how he'd been feeling it for three years. He couldn't imagine going back to it now. Still, it'd be helped now that they were definitely all going to stay in contact. Which did beg the question of if Echo would now be involved in that. "Maybe I shouldn't be suggesting this, but you guys do all realize you can message her now, right?"

"That does tend to simplify things," Liara agreed with him as she seemed to conclude her feeds didn't necessitate immediate attention.

"Ugh, messages are so impersonal," Kasumi scoffed. As she reappeared, leaning on the counter by James and making him jump so hard he hit his head on a cupboard.

"_Ay_! Kasumi!" James snapped in response.

"What?"

"First the push-up sabotage, and now this?!"

"Don't take it personal, big guy, I give everyone a hard time."

"Tali!" Joker suddenly raced in (well, as close to racing as he could get with his hobbled stance), "They said it'll work!"

"They did?!" Tali practically burst with joy, leaping up from her seat beside Garrus, "That's wonderful!"

"Uh, what is, exactly?" Ashley cut in.

"The geth are in the final stages of repair. They have new bodies prepared for them, and their programming has been completely reproduced. But Xen's latest breakthrough on attempts at reactivation seemed to be capable of restoring code lost from disabled synthetic bodies as long as the data was backed up somehow. The geth weren't individuals long enough to form memories and consciousnesses that would necessitate backups, but the Legion code was isolated and protected in all of them. We can bring them back!"

"Then Tali showed me that reactivation procedure," Joker explained, "and I remembered that EDI said she was backing up her memory banks in her body constantly. We would need to find a new body for her, but the engineers on the _Normandy_ recovered the data drives in her old body and they think it'll work! They can restore her now!"

"Jeff, that's amazing!" Liara beamed with delight, actually going over to hug the pilot.

"That must be a load off," Garrus commented as he took Tali's side.

She sighed, half-hugging him. "You can't imagine."

"Ha!" Wrex stepped up to Joker as Liara stepped back, "Guess you're finally gonna see some action after all!" He raised a hand to pat the pilot on the back.

Joker quickly jumped back. "Ribs! Spine! Not krogan!"

"Oh. Right. Forget you're made of glass sometimes."

Samara smiled as she left her meditations to stand with them. "I believe I speak for us all when I say we are happy for you both. This is a true victory."

Garrus smiled as he turned from Tali to Joker. "Yeah. Good to see things finally going right."

Joker simply nodded. "It really is."

Echo, naturally, stepped in on the celebration. "Did I miss something in here?"

They were all more than happy to tell her before they remembered her condition. It was sort of hard to tell her they were rejoicing the forthcoming reactivation of an AI the Crucible had shut down, especially since that was part of why they weren't telling her anything else.

"Uh," Joker finally stumbled over an explanation, "we lost a friend in the war, but it looks like we're gonna get her back soon."

Echo smiled. "That's incredible! What happened?"

"Well…she…it's kind of a long story. Anyway, we've been trying a lot to…wake her up, I guess, and nothing's worked, but it looks like the quarians found a workaround. After three years of Alliance techs not getting anywhere." He scoffed. "Always in the last place you look, right?"

Echo just shrugged. "Well, obviously. Why would you keep looking once you've found it?"

Joker simply watched her as she went over to Garrus and Tali. Exchanging looks with the others when Echo wasn't watching, he smiled to himself. She wouldn't know what hearing her say that meant to him, but he did. Some things even memory (or lack thereof) couldn't change. "…yeah. Point taken."

"I take it that's not the only good news," Echo nudged Tali, "seeing as how you're smiling your helmet off."

Tali almost laughed. "Some of the other techs on Rannoch found a way to reactivate the geth, just like they were before the Crucible went off."

Echo wasn't so much delighted at this news as she was shocked or relieved. "They did?"

Puzzled by this reaction though she may be, Tali nodded.

Echo outright sighed like she was seeing the sun for the first time in three years, hugging the mechanic before she could step back. "You have no idea how much that means. When I heard they'd shut down and I knew how much the quarians were relying on them…well, let's just say I didn't want to have set up that peace on Rannoch for nothing."

Tali was touched not just by the embrace but by the sentiment behind it. She was hesitant, but she quickly returned the hug. "I know. We lost a friend that day. …he'd be happy to see this."

Garrus was more puzzled than Tali at Echo's reaction, but only briefly. They'd kept away from potentially restoring her memories so she wouldn't blame herself for the synthetic lives lost when the Crucible went off, but that only worked to spare her the grief for EDI's fate. He should've known she'd still blame herself for losing the geth, even if she didn't know she might be responsible; after all, she held herself responsible for every failure in the war whether it was hers or not, like with Earth and Palaven and Thessia.

It really was past time things turned out right. They won this years ago. …she earned this years ago.

With the change in tone, the squad got more of a push to go. They did still only begin genuinely leaving once Echo had out of the blue asked if they were going to stay in contact and they had all agreed. As they were gathering their things, though, the tone changed again. Echo had always been a particularly friendly commander, especially once she managed to get close to them, but with her scavenger days long behind her and the weight of war not baring down on her, she was letting them in a lot more than she did 99% of the time she was the one attempting to make them something like a family (the 1% being the party on the Citadel, naturally). The second she hugged Grunt and got a laugh rather than a grumble out of it, the farewells started going down that road rather than the expected formal one (except in the cases of Jack and Zaeed, because that was just asking for trouble).

Tali was the last one out, watching as the others made their way to the door. "Guess we'll be in touch." She then proceeded to hug Garrus. As he hesitantly reciprocated, she leaned into position to whisper into his ear: "Take care of her."

He lost his hesitance then, taking the words to heart. "I will," he whispered back.

Tali smiled softly, almost sadly, before turning to hug Echo as well and following the others outside.

"I'm actually gonna miss you guys," Echo commented.

"Oh?" James replied, starting to step back in, "Well, then maybe we should stick around a bit longer—"

"Not gonna miss you _that_ much," she rolled her eyes, all but pushing him back out the door.

Ashley smirked. "Right. We'll just leave you two _alone_."

James smirked with her. "Fair enough. _Hasta luego_, Firefly, Scars."

"I would warn you to stay out of trouble," Joker shrugged, "but that's like telling Wrex to calm down."

"Krogan, remember?" Wrex shrugged, "This _is_ calm." Then he nodded one last goodbye to Echo and Garrus before leading the way back to the transit station.

"Well, _sayonara_," Kasumi concurred before cloaking again and following the clan chief away.

Liara shook her head before turning to offer her own farewell to the turian and Spectre as the others made their way off. "Stay in touch this time, OK? Both of you." She smiled. "…we're family, after all." So she walked away, letting the door close behind her as the rest of the former squad did the same.

Echo sighed before tossing a brief smirk in Garrus' direction. "You make some interesting friends, Vakarian."

Garrus smirked to himself as she headed down the hall. "What can I say?" he said under his breath as she turned the corner, "…we had a pretty magnetic commander."

The house seemed unnaturally quiet after that. Echo stayed down the hall while he was attempting to put the house back the way it was before the squad arrived (though he did consent to leave Zaeed's suggested traps in place, just in case), so it was especially silent in a way it hadn't seemed to be in…well, over a month. He finally set some music to play over his personal COMM just to fill the silence. Then he left it going when he finished checking everything and, with a deep sigh, leaned against a nearby wall to look solitarily out the window at the horizon as Trebia began to set.

It was only when the song he had set to play the night before, the one he and Echo had briefly danced to, began to sound over his COMM that he considered switching to an open channel and spending some time with her now they were alone again. It was only when he turned to do so that he realized she was still down the hall. Curious, he checked the time and found that she'd been back there alone for over two hours. What was she up to? He made his way down the hall to their room to check. He was in the process of considering whether or not he should knock before walking in when the door slid open by itself.

Echo jumped out so quickly that he didn't have a chance to see the other side of the door before it closed back. "Hey. Are you hungry? I'm hungry." So she grabbed him by the arm and dragged him back down the hall towards the kitchen.

"What are you doing back there?" Garrus immediately asked.

"Worry about it later."

Once Echo had located some food from what remained of the levo food stores until the next supply run, the conversation turned entirely to the former squad-mates that had just left that afternoon. It was clear she had enjoyed the time with them and was looking forward to staying in contact and "joining the family." He was happy she was regaining the family she earned and deserved, basically the only one she'd ever had, and he couldn't deny that she seemed even happier at the prospect. When she finally finished talking and, with a brief kiss to his scars, headed back down the hall to their room, the smile that made her eyes glisten made his heart seem lighter. If this was all he ever gave her, it would be enough.

Still curious what she was up to but knowing better than to dig, he went back to finding some way to distract himself. It was a lot harder without her in the room. How had he been whiling away the hours the past three years? Reminiscing and regretting? He couldn't even do that now. He wasn't so empty now. He was _happy_ now, in a way he couldn't have dreamed even during his days on the _Normandy_. How had he ever lived without her?

These thoughts were what truly passed the time. It was only when the sound of music jarred him out of it that he realized the sun had already gone down. And it was only when he processed this information that it occurred to him to wonder where the sound of music was coming from. Confused, he checked that he hadn't left that private COMM channel running, only realizing after he was sure he hadn't that this song wasn't in his files. Unsure what to do at first, he took a moment to listen. When that moment was over, his eyes widened, his heart rate accelerated, and his muscles seemed to stop responding.

It was the song Shepard had set to play over her cabin stereo the night of Omega-4.

He moved without thinking, not sure what to believe this meant. Too many possibilities assaulted him to make sense of one. He was already down the hall before he realized he'd gone anywhere, only thinking when the door was already opening to wonder why Echo didn't sense his presence and prevent his entry a second time. But when the door opened this time, he saw exactly why.

He would never have taken her for a romantic, but she seemed to have gone through a checklist of romance vid clichés and made each one their own. All the lights were disabled and replaced with candles (which he had no idea where she'd gotten them) with a scent like the Palaven sea they had danced beside. The fabricated flowers he'd given her were seemingly strewn about the room but, to the trained eye, had clearly been carefully placed. She had even somehow hacked the environmental controls on the house so that this room was about two degrees warmer than the hall, just enough difference to seem…inviting. And through it all, that song was playing on a loop until even the memory that had come to him so vividly was lost to its strains.

"I would ask if it was too much, but…" Echo stood next to the stereo controls, her casual outfit exchanged for a look he wouldn't have recognized had she not worn something similar the night of Omega-4—small black jacket, lace-up top, etc. She'd even teased her hair so that the soft brown waves fell enticingly over her shoulders, her silver blue eyes gleaming with desire as much as uncertainty.

He simply looked her over, just barely having the presence of mind to step in all the way so the door would close and leave her careful planning undisturbed. She hadn't gone to near this much trouble the first time, but all the same, her intention was clear.

She wanted him. Tonight.

He wanted to protest. But at the same time, almost even more, he wanted _her_, consequences or not. He wasn't sure which he intended to voice when he tried to say something, but words failed him. Maybe those pesky nerves were coming back. _Worst possible time._

"I know you said we weren't ready," Echo explained, "but I did some research of my own. Some anatomy booklets that were a bit overly specific if you ask me. Oils for 'chafing'—I mean, I'm pretty tough, so I'm not worried about it, but better safe than sorry and all that. Apparently, there are even meds specifically designed to prevent any 'deleterious reactions from cross-species contact.'" She held up a bottle of said meds, apparently what she had rushed outside for earlier. "Pretty sure they were intended for the quarians who were reestablishing their Citadel embassy, at least until the geth can give them some proper immunity boosts, but it's not amino-specific, so whatever works…" She tossed the bottle to him.

Garrus simply stared at her even as he caught it. "You're serious about this."

She seemed to abandon her uncertainty then. She slowly started to close the distance between them, that gleam in her eyes conveying a resolute _need_. "No one has ever mattered to me as much as you do, Garrus Vakarian. _I want to be with you_. No restrictions." As she stopped moving, only inches from him, she felt that sense of belonging and that unflinching desire she'd come to know so well over the past two weeks take her over. "If that means I have to fight a whole other war just to have five seconds when we can truly touch each other…" She placed her hands over his, their eyes locked together, every sense occupied with some aspect of the room she'd made an homage to the bond between them she was seeking to deepen. "…I'd do it. Anything it takes."

A small part of him was still arguing that this was wrong, though he couldn't fathom why. It was too late for the excuse that it might undo all he'd sacrificed the past three years, and she had taken every precaution against the act causing physical harm to either of them. The only reason for him to hold back would be if he had reason to believe one of them wasn't ready. But it was kind of hard to think she wasn't 1000% ready after what she had just said, and it was even harder to ignore the way everything within him skipped at her touch. No. There was only one answer now. "If I'm being honest…so would I." So he stopped hesitating, stopped letting the past and his fears for the future control him, and when he stepped out of her reach, it was to take a dose of those meds for himself.

When he came back to her side, she took a second to properly look at him. She would never have imagined she could find a turian physically attractive, but there was an attraction between them that could never be denied. Now that she accepted this, though, those words were upon her again, demanding to be said. But the fear was shadowing them once more. When she looked at him this time, when she was reminded how much she meant these words, she took action, recovering her risk-taking spirit to push the fear aside and tell him: "…I love you."

He looked at her for a moment. Hearing her say it again, after all this time, meant more to him than words could ever say. But it also gave him a new understanding for how much meaning had been behind them the first time, how much of a weight it was to her to tell someone this after the life she had lived. Which also made him newly angry with himself for not telling her the same immediately, even if his actions had been enough to prove it, even if she _knew_. He'd made the mistake the first time of hesitating to confess his feelings for her until they were on the threshold of death, because he'd been, like she was now, so afraid it would be the confession that made the dream end. He'd been so vulnerable through her, so afraid of losing her, that he'd waited too long to tell her at all. Not this time. Now he didn't hesitate for a single second to tell her exactly how he felt: "…I love you, too."

Echo smiled. Then she drew closer and kissed him, placing her hand gently against his scars.

He kept her close, using this kiss to prove how much he meant what he'd said. With every motion, he poured out his attachment and care and _love_. With every touch, he clung tighter, desperate to prove that she truly was _his_. With every second, he pushed back the rising constriction of his lungs and let the only concern he had the focus for be savoring every sensation with her. And he savored it all, from the warmth of her soft flesh to the pounding of her heart to the taste of…of…

He stopped. He knew that salty taste all too well. He pulled back before she could stop him, looking her over to find tears falling from her silver blue eyes. "Echo, what's wrong?"

She simply wiped them away, turning away from him. "Nothing. Nothing's wrong. It's…it's just…" It wasn't fear that made her hesitate this time. She questioned what it was—shame, reluctance, embarrassment? The reason, she decided, didn't matter. She simply took a deep, shuddering breath and confessed to her love the reason for the tears themselves: "…I've never said that to anyone before…and no one's ever said it to me."

Those words froze him solid. He was so anxious to dismiss them that it took him a moment to truly understand their meaning. "What? No, that can't be true. You…" But he stopped when he took the time to think it over. A mother she never met, a father that never cared about her, a childhood filled with people who used her, a career of loss and loneliness, and then…and then… She really hadn't heard it before. Not from anyone but him. And he had so stupidly held back for so long. Even as a small part of him was outright furious that he had done that to her, most of him was sick with sympathetic sorrow that she had been so neglected when everything about her demanded to be loved, that she must have been even worse off during that run to the beam than she was now…then utterly empty when her memories of the only people in her life who actually felt something for her were taken away. "…_Echo_—"

"_Don't_," she quickly interrupted, her voice still weak as she fought off the last of the tears so she could face him again. This had to be the first time she'd ever let someone see her cry. Her teenage self would have been infuriated at how easy it was…and shocked at how right it was. She truly did love him, and that meant she trusted him. And she was prepared to rely on him. She buried herself against him, resting her head on his shoulder as he held her. "…just say it again."

He could still taste her tears on the air, a jolt to his protective instincts that demanded he take action. He wanted to comfort her, not carry this forward. But he couldn't deny her. He was still hers, after all, and… "I love you."

She let the words ring in the air, drowning out the song still playing behind them and even the sound of their breathing. Part of her may have once questioned their authenticity, but hearing them on his voice, rife with conviction and _want_, she simply couldn't. She knew he meant it. Hearing it now, she thought she had known for a while. They meant something to each other that few would ever understand. This was real. This was what love felt like. It was a feeling she wanted more of. It was the one thing she knew she could never, _ever_ forget.

He knew this, too, just from the way they were now entangled in each other. The closer she leaned into him, the more the ocean scent of the candles was supplanted by the vanilla scent of her skin and the scent in her hair that now seemed utterly permeated with the fabricated blossom he had gifted her all those nights ago. He ached with longing at the smell, every beat of her heart under the talons that rest on her back cementing what he knew to be the most true thing he had ever known. "I love you," he repeated, his pulse racing faster every time. As this iteration rang through the room, he turned to kiss her tearstained face, following each caress with a whispered echo of his feelings for her.

After only five, her joyous tears returned and she took action. "And _I_ love _you_," she declared with all her heart before throwing herself into him and kissing him as if she couldn't breathe without him. In that moment, she could have been persuaded that she couldn't.

Just like that, they were lost in each other. The fears and concerns that had been holding them back were forgotten all too quickly, every thought still ringing with their newly confessed feelings. All the defenses they had each set up so long ago fell apart. They didn't matter anymore. All that mattered now was each other.

The fires of passion had risen between them now, leading her to toss her jacket aside and leap into his arms without even breaking contact. He barely managed to keep hold of her, pressing her up against the wall so he could keep his focus on translating his emotional connection to her into something physical. She sighed with pleasure when he touched her, her fingers blindly tracing his scars until he reciprocated. When they slowed down just enough to catch their breath, she reached to pry his gloves off then turned to kiss his scars. She had always known how to undo him, her actions now being enough to send him back onto the bed until she was practically in his lap, his now exposed talons feathering her hair. He stayed this way, slowly edging onto the mattress completely, lost in her scent and her touch, until she finally drew back to meet his eyes. The second they looked at each other, the world seemed to fade away. They didn't even look away when she took hold of his hands and drew them back to guide them around the laces on her top. They only looked away when he leaned back in to kiss her, this time taking hold of her completely and laying her down beside him.

Time lost all meaning as they began to fall into each other entirely. The more they fell, the more they seemed to integrate to each other, as if species was not a barrier at all. Actions took over, pushing every thought from their minds. Heat where they touched, hearts pounding faster than should've been possible, exhaustion creeping in when time began to catch back up to them. The sparks passing between them seemed brighter than any star in the sky outside.

It was the best night of either of their lives.

When the night finally came to an end, Echo was still ringing with ecstasy. If she had been questioning her own judgment in falling for a turian, she wasn't anymore. Not only did she know beyond any shred of doubt that they truly loved each other, but he had given her what no one else ever could and then given himself on top of it all. She'd been so concerned for when they decided to make this move, but it had gone perfectly. Almost as if they had done it before. Almost as if, species barriers aside, they were well and truly made for each other.

She turned to look at Garrus, fast asleep against her and still refusing to take his arms away from their position around her waist. She smiled, sliding her fingers across his scars again. "…always the last place you look." With a sigh, she kissed him one more time before curling up against him.

Right where she belonged.


	19. Dawn

Chapter 19: Dawn

Sunlight beaming through the windows roused them both. It was a subtle light that brought no warmth with it, but there was more than enough warmth between them to compensate. They were still close together, such a calming and tender and needful embrace that they would both have hesitated to wake and risk breaking it had they not been just as eager to see each other again. As they both woke, they both realized the other had followed and took a breath of sheer contentment.

"Hey," she whispered, smiling softly as she curled up against him again.

"Hey," he whispered back, smiling quietly as he ran his talons through her hair. It'd been so long since they had a morning like this, quiet and peaceful and in love, that he would've thought it was a dream if he couldn't still feel her skin on his. As it was, some part of him still didn't believe it was that perfect. "Did we really…?"

"Yeah."

"And it was…?"

She looked up at him so he could see the enraptured look in her eyes. "…yeah."

That one word carried so much meaning behind it. He couldn't begin to explain how it made him feel, but at the same time, it made so many things clearer. He knew the connection they'd had before was unbroken if not stronger. He could believe that he really was all she needed. He definitely had a better understanding of what it meant to be "madly in love" with someone. Because every fiber of his being was madly in love with Echo Shepard.

He smirked as he gazed into her silver blue eyes, his talons gently feeling along the curves of her frame. "Are you saying I successfully romanced the great Commander Shepard? I _must_ be good."

She laughed softly, letting her focus drift to his touch. As he compounded the caresses with a brief kiss to her forehead, she shivered with a desire she would have thought he had sated by now. In a way, this was all she'd ever wanted. Life had a habit of getting in the way of things like that. She sighed. "I wish we could stay here. Just like this. Forever."

His smirk faded as he sighed with her, his talons' gentle motions slowing to a wistful crawl. "Yeah. What I wouldn't give…"

Once he had expressed he wanted it as much as she did, she entertained the thought, pushing back all the thoughts that threatened to remind her why they couldn't. She let it all fade away with the feeling of his three-fingered hand coming to rest on her waist, his mandibles fluttering against her face as they drew closer, his plates against her skin. It should've all felt so alien, but instead it all felt right. This really was all she'd ever wanted. And when she wanted something, she did everything in her power to get it. "I say we just do it. No one's demanding anything of us anymore. No one but each other." She meant for only her longing to resound in her words, but some desperation hitchhiked its way out. So much she wanted to remember and so much she wanted to forget… Garrus finally took hold of her hand, allowing her to turn it between them so that each of them had a hand tight between the other's grasp and heartbeat. "I just wish the world could fade away. I just want my whole life to be like this." She met his sapphire eyes again, losing herself in them, in the thought of staying lost in his arms. "I wish time could slow down and stop here."

While having her here seemed too good to be true, the wish she was conveying genuinely was, no matter how much they might long for otherwise. But it had always been his place to comfort her, so he set aside his longing and clutched her hand tighter, determined and possessive. "You're right about one thing: we're free. Together. Nothing's stopping us from doing this again."

The offer was more than enough consolation. She could face the concept of leaving this perfect moment if it meant that the next morning or the one after would be just like it. She smiled as she reached a resolution of her own. "I don't think anything could stop us if they tried."

He smiled again, nuzzling against her. "That's my girl."

Five minutes later, as the two of them were finishing preparing for a new day, Echo sat on the bed and pondered what had happened. At first, it was so much that she wasn't even sure how to feel about it. But as her mind settled, she realized she had to admit what she already knew. Half of her was channeling all those vid characters she used to make fun of, absolutely invigorated with such sheer joy that she wanted to _Sound of Music_ at the top of her lungs that somebody truly loved her. The other half, though…well… There was something she had to say. So when Garrus turned to leave the room, she stood up to say it. "Garrus…"

He turned to give her his full attention, not even reaching to open the door.

As soon as his eyes met hers again, she stumbled, the words failing her. She had no idea how to handle something like this. She didn't even know if this was something that could be handled. All she knew was how she felt. Finally, she closed the distance between them and kissed him. It was passionate, yes, but also cautious. He didn't seem to mind, but he clearly noticed. So, as they came apart, she stayed close, letting a single question fill the space between them: "…did you mean it?"'

One look in her eyes would be enough to tell him what "it" was even if he didn't know from the sound of her voice. After all, if it truly was the first time anyone had ever claimed to love her, he couldn't blame her for being doubtful. He resolved in that moment to never give her a reason to doubt again. "You have no idea how much I mean it. More than I could say."

She smiled slightly, the sheer emotion behind his tones more than enough to convince her. Yet she still seemed uncertain even as she gently laid her head on his. "Why?"

He was amazed she couldn't see why. Then again, few people could see someone the way the one who loved them most could. "Why wouldn't I? You're strong and brave and brilliant and selfless and kind. You're beautiful, inside and out—which is saying something when a turian admits that to a human." That comment earned a brief laugh from her even as she seemed to shy away from the compliment itself. He mainly noticed the latter of the two reactions and quickly drew her to meet his eyes again so she could see the sincerity behind them. "You were given a life far, far less than what you deserved, yet you didn't let it break you. You used it to make you stronger, to give you purpose, and to inspire others." She still seemed prepared to shrink back, but he held firm, making sure she knew how true it was. She found herself resting her hand on his scars, hoping he could tell what she wanted to say. He did, but he was more focused on how her touch flooded him with elation and devotion in equal measure. "You make me happier every time I look at you. Whenever you're around, the whole world seems brighter; and whenever you're not with me, I'm empty inside. I hear about what you've been through and I want do something to make it better, but I can't, so instead I give you everything I can to make it worth something. Because I would do anything for you." His hands fell from the face of his love to the shoulders that had carried the weight of the entire galaxy. "If you were my commander, I'd follow you into hell itself." Perhaps he was flirting with disaster by saying _that_, but it was true and needed to be said. He didn't dare look in her eyes to see the response it elicited, instead watching as his hand drifted over her shoulder and through her hair to come to rest where it could feel her heartbeat. "And if you love me as much as I love you…"

Those words drew a smile from her that made her eyes gleam and her heart leap. "I do." So she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him in a way that would show how much she had meant what she said. As he held her close and reciprocated, she knew something deep in her soul.

They didn't just belong to each other anymore. They were tied to each other. So deeply they couldn't survive if they were separated. This was more than simple love. It was destiny.

She smiled at the thought as they pulled apart. "And if you're what my life was leading up to all this time…it really was worth it all."

He smiled at the sentiment, laying his head on hers.

She stayed close, savoring the moment, then took his hand as they left the room and headed down the hall.

Things were different between them now. Silences were more pensive and tense, but every time they touched, that same desire flared inside them both, drawing them so close together that they now knew without the need for words that they truly were in love. Their thoughts would drift when they separated until they were filled with doubts and regrets and uncertainties, but it would all fade away when they looked at each other until they were overcome with passion and belonging and want. The bond between them was unshakeable, but they both in turn had been shaken to their cores. Garrus had the scent and feel of her so well memorized that he could find her blindfolded in the largest crowd; likewise, Echo knew the tones of his voice so well that she could hear him on the harshest battlefield. With no war upon them, their purpose in life could be each other. So they decided to give this new purpose a try.

They were sitting together on the couch, his hand resting warmly on her midsection as her fingers amorously traced the edges of the plates beneath his fringe, when his omni-tool beeped with a message. "It's Tali and the others," he informed her as he checked it, "Looks they all made it home safely and just wanted to check in."

She looked at the message. "Hmm. I miss them already. Maybe we should be calling."

He gave her a look. "What happened to 'Be sure to write, now get out of our house'?"

She laughed. "Ah, that was yesterday. …a lot's changed."

He scoffed as he turned off his omni-tool and let his hand return to its position on her waist. "Don't tell me I'm not enough for you."

She answered by shifting positions until she was practically in his lap and laying a trail of kisses across his scarred mandible. Smiling with satisfaction at the way his breath hitched, she brushed her nose against his ear as she came to whisper alluringly into it: "What do you think, love?"

He breathed her in as his hand slid from her waist to her hip. "I think Grunt was sleeping on this couch and we might break it if we're not careful."

She snickered as she drew back to meet his eyes. "I can do careful. I don't know about you…"

He smirked before wrapping his arms around her and drawing her in. After a brief but ardent kiss, he leaned around to whisper into her ear in return. "I can now. It's tonight you need to worry about."

She wanted to laugh but instead shivered with enticement from the sound of his voice. He had clearly learned some time ago just how much it could affect her. She wasn't sure if she was still the one taking action or if he had drawn her in this time when they kissed again. She only knew time fell away until his omni-tool beeped again with another message from the former squad. She sighed as she pulled away. "Right. You know what? Just write them back and forward me the thread so I can join in later. I could use some air, anyway." He didn't get a chance to argue before she got up to head outside. But she did do him the courtesy of keeping hold of his hand as long as possible before distance forced them to let go.

Garrus watched her longingly until she was out of sight. With a deep sigh, he turned to his omni-tool and started going through the messages from their recent houseguests. After the initial messages of "made it back, just checking in," it inevitably descended into banter and teasing (most of the teasing part was naturally directed towards the cross-species liaison they would never admit out loud they were happy for). It was only now they were able to be themselves again, albeit with a small restraint on the reminiscent part of their bantering, that he realized how much he really had missed this. Once everyone had signed off and he had forwarded it all to Echo, as promised, it occurred to him that he hadn't checked in on his family in a few days either. The next 15 minutes were spent on a call with Solana when she all but demanded an update on the events since their last conversation. It was a rather eventful call.

When the call came to end, he glanced out the window at Echo. She was standing at the edge of the crater (right at the edge again, ever the daredevil), watching the horizon and breathing in the warm Palaven air. He leaned against the wall to admire her from afar as the wind tossed her soft brown hair. He couldn't see her silver blue eyes glowing gold in the fading sunlight from this angle, but he knew that sight all too well. He could see a sharp tension in her muscles that worried him, but it seemed to be easing as she simply stood there in silence. There was something calming about watching her simply take in the scenery. Something like finding home with the one you love. With a small smile, he sat down nearby and, deciding to leave her to it, started checking to see if the Primarch had any concerns the past few days.

Right as he was concluding that he was not at the moment needed, Echo came back into the house, leaning against the doorframe to keep it open. "Hey. Come outside for a bit?"

Garrus resolved to later think over if there ever had been an occasion he was even capable of telling her "no."

She took him by the hand as they left the house, watching the sky as he followed her. "Your world is amazing. I wish I could've seen it before."

He rested his free hand on her waist again, only now noticing that she had stopped wearing what little protective gear she needed for the solar radiation (she was tough, as she said, and humans were generally rather adaptable). "Yeah. I wish I could've showed you."

She stopped walking for a moment, placing her hand over his. Then she reached to pry his glove off and brought his hand up to her face.

He drew closer to her as she leaned into his bared talons and planted a small kiss on his wrist. So unafraid but needing, so fierce but tender. She was everything he admired. And she was still clinging to him. "…there's so much I wish I could've done for you."

A small smirk escaped her. "So you said." She sighed, pulling away from him but still holding to his ungloved hand, just tightly enough that he worried his talons might tear her soft ivory flesh. "Come on. Sun's going down."

He silently followed as she led him behind the house to the crater. As Trebia faded from the sky and the stars begin to shine overhead, her pulse pounded gently beneath his fingertips and her scent filled the cool dusk air. Being so close to her, he barely noticed that the air had cooled from its standard heat. She was the sun his world revolved around. She was the light that pulled him from the deepest darkness. And remarkably, she was his.

He was only jarred from these contemplations when Echo removed her hand from his and lied down on the dusty ground to look up at the stars. "I just got tired of the projections. Sometimes, I miss the real thing, you know?"

Garrus had purposely not spent much time stargazing over the past three years, so unwilling to look back on the days those stars had been home. With her. But now that she was here and those days were so long past, it was only right that he lie down beside her and watch those stars anew. "Sometimes, I do, too."

She gazed up at a purple-black sky lit by small white sparks from scattered constellations. "They are beautiful. I never got nights like this growing up. You could barely see them from the cities."

"I mean, we are right outside a city as it is, so this still isn't the clearest view."

"It's enough." She smirked playfully. "And the witty, attractive boyfriend that comes with the view is a nice bonus."

He smirked back. "I don't know. I have a certain smart and sexy girlfriend that might seem like the better end of the deal."

"Careful there, Vakarian, you might make a girl jealous."

He fought the urge to laugh. "Come on, love, you know you're the only one for me."

Whatever reservations she may have had dissipated at these words. All she needed to know, the one thing she knew with absolute certainty, was how they felt about each other. So she acted on this, moving subtly closer and reaching to take his hand as her eyes continued to gaze out at the stars.

He turned his hand to wrap three talons tenderly around five fingers. This was all he needed to know, too.

The silence that fell between them now was not of pensive tension but of sheer serenity. If they had been able to wish for something during the war, this was likely what they both would've asked for: peace with their love. Now, simply lying there and watching the stars glisten above them, it all seemed like the kind of happy ending you find in a vid rather than in real life. But it was real. And though they said nothing, the words they'd exchanged the night before still rang through their beings. Both of them knew there was someone who truly loved them, they both knew that someone was with them and not leaving their side anytime soon, and that was more than most would ever see. This was the ending they earned so long ago. Though they might secretly dread a day would come that it was taken from them, this was real. And it was enough.

"Garrus?" Echo suddenly asked, "…when did you know?"

He looked at her, puzzled. "Know what?"

She turned onto her side to face him completely, as if the stars could not compare. "That you loved me."

He considered, looking back on every memory he had made with her—with this Echo and with the Shepard he first fell for. He combed through every moment not for what was said or done but for what he felt. It all ran together so fluidly that it was hard to tell when exactly his admiration and respect for the commander had turned to a genuine romantic attachment, let alone when he finally saw it for what it was. But looking back on it all now, he saw something he hadn't noticed before. It wasn't about when he started to look at her that way, it was about when he first started to feel like she was someone special, someone he belonged with, someone who gave all the pointless battles in his life meaning and made him…well…alive, as opposed to just living. Seeing the answer, he smiled, clinging to her hand as he turned to mirror her position and devote every trace of attention he had solely to her. "I didn't realize it, but…I knew it the moment we met."

Hearing him say that made her heart leap. The one person in her whole life who saw a value inside her for more than just her skills with tech and with guns…the one person who truly _saw her_…he'd seen it from the start. Like an old fairy tale, it'd been love at first sight, even if it hadn't been so dramatically visible in the beginning. And this particular thought made something clear for her. "I think I knew before that." Her eyes alight with love, she drew closer and kissed him.

Even as unfamiliar as turians were with this particular form of displaying affection, Garrus knew by now how to show a human he cared about her. With the meds she'd gotten for them and no one around to bother them about it, they could even stop worrying about any side effects and cut loose, so he didn't bother resisting when she slid her tongue out to wrap around his. He spent every precious second of this embrace savoring each sensation and knowing that she loved him as much as he loved her. Even as they separated, he held her close, committing her taste to memory where her scent was ingrained.

She sighed happily. "Nah…I definitely got the better end of that deal."

They stayed wrapped up in each other as they continued to watch the stars gleaming in the Palaven sky. Their position was so peaceful that they might have stayed there all night, but Garrus finally suggested they head back inside and turn in when Echo threatened to doze off.

As she started to rise, though, her eyes fell on something just behind her. "Hey. Look."

He followed her gaze. A small leaf of green was rising from the dusty soil. "Wow. It must have sprouted after the rain, the last night we were out here."

She smiled. "See? Even the Reapers couldn't have kept Palaven down forever."

He simply watched the sprout carefully. It was true, the Reapers' assaults had threatened to damage the atmosphere and quelled a lot of the plant life. Most of what had grown so far since the war ended had been exclusively from the agriculture industry reviving, but it appeared the natural growth was beginning anew now. Apparently, that happy ending was coming for all of them after all.

"That's the thing about life," Echo observed, "Real life, not some preserved mechanical monstrosity—organics and even free-thinking synthetics." She softly fingered the sprout of green, giving Garrus a knowing glance. "You try to cut it down? It finds a way to bounce back up again."

Garrus smirked. She would know that better than anyone else, of course.

Once she was back on her feet, she watched him as he followed her. She wasn't even sure what it was about him that she considered physically attractive, but she felt the need to remind him of what she hoped he knew. "…love, on the other hand…" She smiled as their eyes met, once again taking his hand in hers. "…is unbreakable."

He smiled back, laying his head on hers. "I'm glad it is. …I can't imagine life without you."

She stayed quiet as they made their way back inside, still carefully and intimately watching him. He'd made it clear he wanted to give her everything, and now she saw what he meant, wishing she could do for him half of what he'd done for her. She never imagined she'd find a life for herself on Palaven, of all places, but he made it seem like home. Because her home was with him. And no matter where life took them, she would always find her way back to him. Always.

"So what do we do now?" he asked, not even bothered to think she might catch the hum of desire in his sub-vocals as they lied down together.

She sighed. "I'm fine just like this." She nestled in against him, leading his to wrap his arms around her as she let the last of her walls down for the first time in her life. "I just want you to hold me."

Anyone else might think she was asking him to chase away nightmares like a child would ask their parents, yet another experience she'd been so unfairly deprived of. But he knew she was asking for more than that, for the chance to be vulnerable and loved without fear. This was something he could give her. So he did. "I'd never let go."

She smiled softly as she drifted asleep. "I know."


	20. Resignation

Chapter 20: Resignation

For two born and bred soldiers, they had both gained a new appreciation for peacetime. They were rarely contacted by their superiors anymore, what with the restorations continuing apace, so they really could devote their attention to each other. Days passed with all their time spent together—asleep in each other's arms, kissing each other breathless, or sitting not far apart as they talked. They'd fallen into a rhythm in a way, and any moment that threatened to break that rhythm was quickly amended by the simple act of taking the other's hand. Merely being so close by had eased so much for them both that the fears and doubts of the past seemed to have faded away completely, no memories or lack thereof coming between them any longer. The present was their concern, and that present was comfortably bright.

One afternoon, while Garrus was sitting on the couch reading, Echo was curled up beside him, tossing aside the glove on his hand to feel the edges of his plates and the arch of his talons. "You know, seeing as we hardly go anywhere, I don't know why you still bother wearing these gloves at all."

He shrugged. "We wear them pretty much all the time. Keeps from scratching up everything we touch."

She answered with a smirk. "It's Palaven. Everything you touch is tough enough to handle it."

He scoffed. "Are we including present company in that argument?"

She answered _that_ by bringing his hand up to her face and leaning into it as if there were no talons at all. "What do you think, tough guy?"

He smiled, though he still didn't take his eyes off what he was reading.

She glanced at this curiously. "What are you looking through that's so fascinating, anyway?"

He hesitated to answer for a moment. "…human mythologies."

She froze, staring at him incredulously. "Seriously?"

"Let's just say your people's myths are a lot more diverse and creative than mine." He looked at one entry in particular with a smirk. "Did you know you're not the only 'Echo,' by the way?"

She thought that over. "Oh. No, I've heard this before. One of the Greek nymphs, right?"

He answered by setting aside the reading and looking at her expectantly. This he'd rather hear from her.

She sighed, realizing she'd walked right into this one, and repositioned to better convey the tale, letting go of his ungloved hand. "The nymphs were spirits of nature. Echo was one of them. But one day, Hera, the queen of the gods, caught her entertaining her husband, Zeus, and punished her by caging her voice. From then on, she could only speak the things she heard others say first. Hence the term 'echo' itself."

"Did you hear this before or after you got your name?"

"A few years later. If it was before, I might have wanted a different namesake. But no, at the time, it was just…the idea of learning from the past or however much of that a four-year-old street kid could understand. That and I thought it sounded cool."

He just gazed at her admiringly. "It suits you."

She couldn't help a small smile. The truth was that she had never told anyone else in her life that she had chosen her name for herself. She needed no approval—she had had 30 years to determine it was the right choice—but it was nice to hear someone she cared about agree with her decision. With this gratification heavy on her mind, she sighed and leaned into him. "Why don't _you_ tell _me_ the next one?"

So he went back to his reading and found a story for her. It was unfortunate that he was going through Greek stories at the moment since almost all of them ended in some form of tragedy, but she quickly amended this by explaining how all tragedies eventually circled back to a happy ending somehow. He couldn't help but think that this applied to them strangely well. The tragedy that was London was a happy ending for life in the galaxy that had circled back around to the true "happy ever after" they were working towards now. It was a poetic commentary on the nature her namesake was guardian over. And it was a gratification he hadn't realized he needed.

They were both satisfied with their current position, but there was always more to fight for.

After they'd had their fill of stories, they passed the rest of the afternoon with kisses and cuddles (which was truly something since most turians wouldn't be caught dead "cuddling"). This string of moments was interspersed with declarations of love, though their roles had switched in that regard—Garrus was now the one voicing his feelings at every available opportunity while Echo was the one focused on showing it. It was quickly made clear that both strategies were equally effective in proving what they meant to each other. When the afternoon came to a close, they were both flooded with delight to know beyond all doubt that they were genuinely in love.

As evening approached, Garrus received a message. "It's Primarch Victus. He wants to talk."

"Ah," Echo nodded, "Almost forgot we were both still technically on duty."

"I can write back, tell him I'm not available until tomorrow—"

"No, no, go on. I can't have you all to myself forever. Duty to your people still comes first. …I should know that better than anyone."

Garrus couldn't exactly argue with this, so he resigned to simply kiss her quick and head off to the relative privacy of their room. He spent the next 15 minutes on a call with the Primarch, discussing diplomatic strategies. Not what the sniper was used to, but these particular discussions were with the krogan, so he was technically the expert. Garrus was able to give some proper advice for this one, the most useful being "if all else fails, tell Wrex to call me about it."

_"I appreciate the assistance on this one, Garrus," Victus said once they had finished their conversation, "Also, before I go, I feel obligated to ask after Commander Shepard."_

Garrus couldn't help a small smirk. "She's fine. Still doesn't remember a thing, but she's safe and happy for once in her life."

_Victus, in turn, couldn't help a smirk of his own. "It's clear you care a great deal for her."_

"Don't tell me you're about to advise me about this."

_"Ironic, I'll grant you, but it seems necessary. I lost my mate before the Reapers ever arrived…and then my son after. It seems this is an area in which humans are superior to turians: in matters of the heart. If she matters to you…you have to prove it."_

He could easily say he was already doing that, but he knew what the Primarch was trying to say and it was impossible to argue with why he was saying it. "I know. I will."

_Victus simply nodded. "I'll be in touch soon if you're needed again. Victus out."_

After the call was terminated, Garrus took a moment to consider his words. _You have to prove it._ Show her what she meant to him. He'd spent some time researching human customs for courtship and romantic gestures, he'd even done a few of them, but this? He wasn't quite sure how to proceed. He was prepared to put the matter aside for now and simply go enjoy some more time with her until he opened the door. Simply glancing down the hall and catching sight of her was enough to stop him in his tracks.

Echo stood in the living room, leaning against the wall and peacefully sniffing the fabricated scent of the flower he'd given her so many nights ago. She smiled as she stroked the petals, the song she'd played for him on the cliffs now resonating through the walls from the projector. If the song had been playing at a volume any higher (and if he didn't have turian ears), Garrus might not have heard her blissfully humming along to the joyous, romantic tune. He had never heard her do that before. It took him a moment to realize it was because he'd never seen her this _happy_ before. He decided to leave her to it a little while longer and stepped back into their room.

He sat down on the bed and let his mind linger on the sight of her, exemplifying that "giddy" state she claimed he left her in. He had known he was happier having her around, but he knew now that he was only truly happy if she was, too. Seeing her this way, especially with the Primarch's words hanging over him, stirred something in him, some need to protect and care for her that…well, it was hard to explain in a way humans would understand. For what seemed like an hour, he sat there, seeing her every time he closed his eyes, hearing her voice in the silence. She was beautiful, his Firefly (Vega didn't know how spot-on his new nickname for her was). She was the love of his life, after all—she was his _everything_. And he wanted…he wanted…to…

…to do something he should've done the first time.

The thought came upon him so suddenly it should have surprised him that he accepted it so fervently so immediately, but he was more surprised he was only now realizing it. He was so convinced this was what he had to do that he spent the next five minutes searching drawers. After the first three minutes, he was beginning to get concerned he wouldn't find what he was looking for. But then he reached to the back of one corner in particular and found it. He was ecstatic that this was happening, so much so it was hard to think straight. It was only when he heard Echo coming back down the hall that he regained enough sense to place his quarry in a new hiding place and move off to the side as if he wasn't up to anything.

Echo sighed as she stepped in and started going through the drawers for herself, fishing out a set of clothes. "Did you need me before I jump in the shower?"

"No, I think I'll just turn in early tonight," Garrus shrugged.

She looked at him curiously. "Don't tell me I wore you out already."

He smirked. "I'm just looking forward to another day with you."

She smiled. "You're getting better at this romance stuff, Vakarian. One day, I might even melt." So she kissed his scars briefly before stepping out of the room.

After he watched her go and started preparing to call it a night, his mind was racing. He wasn't afraid, he was too certain to be. Excitement was what was driving him now, in a way he couldn't remember ever being before. Thoughts of his new master plan followed him as he drifted to sleep…

_He opened his eyes to the cliffs over the Palaven sea, moonlight gleaming off the waves. He smiled at the sight. More accurately, he smiled at who he first enjoyed the sight with. Memories of that night with her, of how they kissed, ran wild within him. He might never have thought of this place as quite so magnificent had they not seen it together as they did. As it was, there was a certain human he thought far outweighed its grandeur._

_"Beautiful, isn't it?" He turned to see Echo standing there, watching the waves crash below. "If only it was real."_

_He gave her a look of confusion. "What are you talking about? We've been here before."_

_She didn't question or correct him. She glanced his way briefly before turning to walk away. "Were we here?"_

_He turned to follow her. He stopped in his tracks almost immediately. It had been three years since he was last on the _Normandy_, let alone on deck 3, but he knew the walkway to the battery almost as well he knew the algorithms on the firing system. Seeing her standing there now, even with the deck eerily empty, made his insides clench with a recognition he couldn't decide was good or bad. "…we…we were…"_

_She ran her hand along the wall thoughtfully. "I can't tell anymore. Either it wasn't _me_…or I don't remember. But I know…I _know_…" She stepped back, shaking her head mournfully. "No. I _don't_ know." She reached up and tore the Palaven flower from her hair. "_You_ do." She wrapped her hands tightly around the flower that had been resting on her left ear. "You know. You know what I was. You're supposed to show me, but I'm not here—"_

_"Shepard, honey, calm down," he quickly brought himself back to attention, slowly beginning to close the distance between them, "We're together, OK? That's all we need to know. Whatever's wrong, we can handle it if we just…" She wasn't moving. As if she couldn't even hear him. "Echo?"_

_Echo was simply standing there, clutching the flower as if it was both her only lifeline and her only defense. "You were supposed to show me. Instead, you walked away. You walked away and left me alone. Because I was made of glass. Touching me would shatter me. You didn't want that…I know…but hollow isn't better than broken."_

_Garrus was about to question her meaning when he smelled a painfully familiar scent on the air. The copper tang of human blood. He looked down and saw her hands bleeding where they held onto the stem. Even as part of him noted this as impossible—the flower was a fabrication of a species that didn't even have thorns—he reached to pry it from her grasp. He got an answer to his unspoken question when he touched it, finding the stem smooth and not even stained from her touch yet still spilling azure blood of his own where he made contact._

_"Our love is poison," Echo shook her head, stepping back as he dropped the flower and clutched his hand, "Poison like a thorn."_

_"Shepard—" Satisfied he'd slowed the bleeding enough, he dropped his hand and reached for her._

_His hand went right through hers, like she wasn't even there._

_She looked down at this, sighing ruefully as if she'd expected it. "Memories might be cold…but this was just an echo."_

_He looked down at his hand, unable to process what he'd seen. After he concluded he couldn't explain it, he turned his attention to his injured hand, watching as his bright blue blood dripped from between his plates to the floor. It was only when he saw his blood mixing with a pool of bright red plasma that he shook it off enough to try chasing down Echo again. When he looked up, though, she was gone. He searched his surroundings for her, finding the _Normandy_ gone, replaced by…by…_

_Oh, spirits. He'd heard enough about the nightmares that plagued her so fiercely during the war to know what was happening. She hadn't disappeared. He had. Right into a black and white forest of dead trees and whispering shadows. The very terrors he'd once prayed he could take from her. The irony was painful. As were the voices in the darkness that he saw were the true source of horror for her all those dreadful nights she woke screaming in his arms. He knew what it was now, though, so he closed his eyes and willed the nightmare away. It might have worked had he not heard one voice in particular—_

_"This isn't you, either."_

—and woke up with a start, the dark visions still rattling fiercely against his skull.

He was about to calm himself down when he noticed that the other side of the bed was empty. Almost frantic, he reached out to grasp the sheets, every part of him demanding to know where she was. It was only when he slowed down for long enough to let his senses catch up that he realized he could hear the shower running. He'd forgotten she was still up. He sighed with relief, but he was still a bit too tense to go back to sleep.

Once she was back in the room with him, it'd be fine, but he needed to find something to pass the time until then. Forcing his hearing to remain on the sound of rushing water rather than on the pleas of his love, he started scanning the room for something to preoccupy himself. His eyes finally landed on the notebook resting on her nightstand. Curious, he picked it up and began to rifle through it. At first, he had no idea what the seemingly random scribbling could mean. After three pages, however, he realized so suddenly and so strongly what this was that he wished he had never touched it.

_"Does this unit have a soul?" "You have become the sole ray of hope in a very dark night." Loss hanging over a pool of dark blue blood on Eden Prime._ Scraps of memories lost to her brain damage over London. They couldn't be coming back—some of these notes seemed to have been taken months or even years ago—and they were far from intact, but they were there. Everything she'd forgotten and had since been fighting to remember. Even after she gave up on recovery, she'd been trying to put pieces together. They might have been a couple dozen pieces from a 1000-piece jigsaw, but she had tried nonetheless. It was when he went back to the first page in the book, finding a frantic message taken presumably within the first day or two of leaving that hospital, that it began to physically pain him to simply hold this book.

_Start with what you know. Your name is Echo Shepard. You were born on Earth. You were orphaned at four. You grew up on the streets. You're an Alliance soldier. You served on the _Normandy_. You stopped the Reapers from destroying all life in the galaxy. Right now, it's only the crew you don't remember. Try to find them. __Don't stay alone._

He dropped the book. It took a minute for him to think to put it back where he'd found it before she noticed he'd been going through her memories. _Her memories_. She had gotten this before she ever got a replacement omni-tool, written down everything she remembered before the damage could worsen, only relaxed to attempting recollection when she knew it was safe. And she couldn't find what she was looking for. She stayed alone. No one to turn to and no way to fix what she lost. Here it was, proof of the small scattered remnants of what had been taken from her.

What _he'd_ taken from her. This was what his dream had been about.

It was in that moment Garrus realized what he had to do. It was long past time to figure out where their relationship was going. So it was also long past time to turn her away. He couldn't just pretend this hadn't happened, he couldn't just leave again, not now that she knew what they meant to each other. No, he had decided to stay, or at least delayed retreating too long, and he had to live with that decision. Especially now that he was convinced her allotted time for recovery had come and gone. Then again, there was no way of truly knowing that, was there? This was Shepard, after all, even if she wasn't the same anymore. …this was _Echo Shepard_. The woman he loved, the woman he refused to lie to…or keep secrets from. Which meant staying on this path with her had one last requirement from him.

It was time to tell her the truth.


	21. Reminders

Chapter 21: Reminders

Garrus spent a long time trying to figure out how to do this. He spent so long, in fact, that he lost a couple hours of sleep over it, which was doing nothing to ease his nerves. He woke up fully prepared to just come out with it, but he lost all will to try when she woke up with him with that smile that made her eyes glisten and a kiss that made his heart leap. If he loved her so much, why couldn't he just tell her something this important?!

While she got up to get ready for a new day as if nothing was going on, he sat there sulking and trying to come up with a plan. He considered calling Tali or Liara for backup but ultimately figured this should be up to him. He had decided to leave her to her own recovery and now he was deciding to tell her why.

Which was why it never even crossed his mind to call Jack or Ashley about this.

He spent the entire time it took him to get ready working up the nerve to just come out with it. He had no idea where to start, but he was determined. As he made his way down the hall to her, he decided it was best to start at the beginning and switched to thinking over how best to word it. Now that he had a plan, though, all he could think about was how she would react. All this time and he'd been keeping something _this big_ from her…she wouldn't take it well. She'd been lied to enough in her life without someone she loved betraying her trust this way. He wouldn't be able to hold it against her if she never spoke to him again. No matter how much he might not want that, though, this had to be done. He didn't know human standards, but any turian would agree that the painful truth was better than a happy life full of secrets or lies. If he didn't say something now, he'd regret it forever.

After all, even if he had done it for her own good, he'd always regretted leaving. Time to remedy that.

Perhaps, in a way, this was the punishment for it.

As soon as he came out of the hall, Echo sent a smile in his direction. "So do you have something in mind today or are we not messing with a good thing?"

Where last night seeing her so blissfully happy had filled him with joy and contentment, seeing her that way now hollowed him out. Here he had gone through so much to give her this happiness and he was about to tear it apart. He tried to force a smile at first, just to keep her from worrying as long as possible, but the weight of his decision was so heavy that he found himself leaning against the wall.

Echo saw his discomfort, naturally. She quickly took his side. "Are you OK, love? You weren't sleeping so well last night."

He tensed when he heard that. He should've known she'd notice. Still, when he met her eyes, the storm inside him calmed. He smiled now, steadying enough to shift his hand from the wall to her arm. "It's better with you here."

She smiled back, leaning into him.

He took a moment to simply hold her close, committing the scent and feel to memory in case this truly was the last time he'd be able to. _I can't lose her again…but I will _not_ hurt her._

When she pulled away, Garrus sighed. Simultaneously regretful that he had made this decision and resentful that he hadn't made it sooner, he turned to the love of his life and began to act on it. "Echo…you know I love you, right?"

Echo nodded, smiling softly. "And I love you."

Those words eased some of his dread, but only some. Still, he was committed. No turning back now. He had to say it while he could. "Do you trust me, too?"

"Absolutely. Garrus, what's wrong?"

So many things were wrong. But telling her half of them meant telling her everything. It hurt to lead this way, but it had to be confessed: "I've been keeping something from you." He couldn't bear to meet her eyes and see her reaction to those words. He couldn't see her shocked or hurt because of what he'd done. He had to say this quickly. So he took a step aside and began to explain: "We…you…I—" He cut himself off, unable to drive himself to admit it.

Echo gave him a look. "Let me guess. You're gonna tell me that you knew me during the war. That you were on the ship with me. …that I was the friend you lost after Sovereign's attack _and_ the one you lost on Earth."

Garrus turned to look at her in absolute shock.

She simply closed the distance he'd put between them, smiling almost tearfully as she set it all free. "You're gonna tell me that we were almost as in love then as we are now, that you were the only thing that kept me going when both our lives were falling apart because of the Reapers…that you've been staying away for the past three years." That part of the story in particular threatened to make her drop the smile entirely in favor of the tears, but she held on by taking hold of his hand again. "And then I'm gonna tell you…that I know."

He couldn't move. There were too many emotions warring within him for a true reaction to display itself. Disbelief finally won out. "…you remember?"

She smiled resignedly, nodding. "That night that we…were together, after the squad left…it all came back to me."

She really remembered. _She remembers _us_! _That lone thought was enough to make the joy within him flare like the sun, but it was quickly quenched as another thought broke through. Because she _remembered_. She _had_ remembered ever since…ever since… "This is…why didn't you say anything?"

She scoffed, setting her hands on her hips to all but glare at him. "Why didn't _you_? I wanted to give you the chance to tell me everything for yourself."

He quickly started scrambling to remember what he was going to tell her, specifically why he hadn't told her before. "Well, what about the Crucible? You remember everything now?"

She stilled at the question, taking a deep breath before working up the heart to answer. "No, those memories are gone. I was hit pretty hard when Harbinger came down on us and everything after that got a bit crazy…well, nothing was ever very clear, but those memories were never really there, so I think they're gone for good."

The worst of his fears receded then. Whatever happened up there, she couldn't be haunted by it. He didn't have to watch her break. He still felt some sympathy for her that she would never be fully recovered, but this was probably the best outcome he could've asked for. If anyone was expecting answers for what happened on the Citadel that day, they'd never get any. But with EDI and the geth on the mend, it was for the best.

She noticed his relief, of course. "Is that it? You thought whatever I did was something I'd want to forget?"

He just nodded. "You'd been going through enough during the war. If what you did activating the Crucible really was what turned off the synthetics or if you tried and failed to save Anderson or…" He could spend the next hour listing all the horrible occurrences he'd thought of and prayed she hadn't had to live through. Each worse than the last and making him even more certain that she deserved better than to remember it, especially with all the nightmares she was still carrying from those days. "The doctor said being around us too long might make it all come rushing back. Clearly, he was right. I just…I couldn't put you through that."

Understanding drew such sympathy to her eyes that the tears threatened to return. She finally wrapped her arms around him, giving a grateful kiss to his scars. "I'm OK. It's over. …thank you."

He breathed a sigh of relief as he held her tight again. Then he breathed her in as her words began to sink in and he realized she was right. _It's over. It's really, finally over._

But in the silence, she took the time to look back on what she did remember from those days and something else struck her. She finally drew back to look at him, seeing something in him he couldn't see that only confirmed her suspicions. "…why do I get the feeling that wasn't the only reason you gave me the runaround in that hospital and then walked out on me for so long?"

That he didn't have the heart to say. With a sigh, he sat down and looked at the floor.

She took that as a proper confirmation. There was more to it. She took a guess what the problem must be and turned to reassure him. "Look, I understand it must have been hard. I can't imagine what it must have been like when I looked at you and didn't recognize you. And I'm so sorry, but you had to know some part of me still knew. If you really didn't want—"

"It wasn't about what _I_ wanted! It was about what was best for _you_!"

She froze, the shocked look on her face making him suddenly realize what he'd said.

He took a few breaths to pull himself together and explain. "…I kept thinking about what we talked about in London. At first, it was a reason to find you—so we could have that 'happy ending' we wanted so much. But the more I thought about it, the more what you said kept getting to me."

"What I said? I said I was game for it."

"No, you said 'biology won't cooperate.'"

As she caught on to his real meaning, she started searching for words to make up for it. "Garrus—"

"Don't bother. It was true. I can't give you anything. You deserved to at least have the chance to find someone who could give you _everything_, who wouldn't constantly remind you of war and loss, and if you knew we were already promised to each other, then you wouldn't move on."

"Yeah, because I couldn't! You honestly thought I could ever feel _anything_ for anyone else after I was already in love with you?!"

"You'd forgotten about me! There was a possibility and I thought it was all I could give you! I had no right to take that choice away from you!"

"That's exactly what you did by leaving, you selfless bird-brain!" She accented that particular comment with a sharp smack to his arm that made him recoil. With the anger part of her reaction out of her system, she knelt down in front of him and took his hands in hers, giving him a look that she hoped would convey just how much she meant the words that followed. "Garrus, you were so much more to me than you realized. When you love someone that much, you don't just forget what it feels like. So yes, I knew I needed someone. But even if there was anyone else in all of existence I could ever fall half as hard for…you still had my heart. It wouldn't have been right to let someone else in. Not to me." She finally stood up enough to lean in, pressing her hands almost possessively against his mandibles. "And if you ever leave me again, even for another reason so stupidly noble, I will lock you in the basement."

"I don't have a basement."

"I will dig one and then tie you up in it."

He laughed briefly, but the guilt interrupted any actual mirth associated with it. She was right. She had needed him, no matter how much she would lose by being with him, and he had given up. What had seemed like the selfish choice had actually been the right answer all along and he couldn't see it. "I was only… I thought it was like that human saying: 'If you love something, set it free.'"

Echo just withdrew, shaking her head. "'And if it comes back…it was meant to be.'"

Garrus had to mentally kick himself. He hadn't heard _that_ part.

"So when I came back after all this time and, without even knowing how it would go, wanted to try this with you, why were you still looking for a way out that wouldn't push me away?"

He flinched then. He should've known she would notice that, at least in retrospect. He stood up again, wringing his hands as he thought over how to describe his intentions. The second she saw this gesture, though, she grabbed him by the wrists just long enough to stop it. This did soothe his concerns slightly as he remembered the first time she'd done it, the night after Thessia. _"You don't have to be nervous, Garrus. Not with me. There's nothing you could do that would make me give up on you."_ He held onto that promise now, just enough to ease the knots inside him. He sighed almost apologetically before finding what he needed to say. "Mostly, I was still afraid I'd bring back memories you'd rather not have. Otherwise…it felt like trying to have you back was selfish, like it was going against every other reason I left in the first place…like I was lying to you."

She stepped back with a receptive nod. Then she thought it over and stifled a small laugh. "Yeah, well, looking back, you did a fairly exceptional job of sidestepping that last one."

He nodded back appreciatively. "I owed you the truth. Even if I couldn't give you all of it." That much seemed unfair now. She deserved all of it, no matter how painful it might have been. But how could he tell her about all those nights she'd fallen apart in front of him because she knew the entire galaxy was counting on her? How could he tell her she'd had a family but lost at least four members of it? He had done the only thing he could to protect her. But he had hurt her just as much by leaving as he would have by staying. "I just thought…I don't know, I thought you'd be happier without having to carry so much and I would be the reminder that would ruin that. I still wanted this, but I was afraid…"

She understood, though. She always understood. She knew him well enough to know how far he was willing to go. He'd charged past a pair of angry Brutes for her, so it was no wonder he would deny himself of the only thing he truly wanted (and she took no small satisfaction in the knowledge that was her) if it meant taking care of her. She gave him a grateful smile before reaching to draw the glove off his hand and lay his palm gently over her sternum. As the soft pounding of her heartbeat calmed him, she ran her fingers across the arch of his talons, letting all of the pieces at long last fall into place. Well, every piece except one. "So what made you decide it was time to tell me?"

He shrunk back at the recollection of the events of the previous night. "Some crazy nightmares I don't want to describe. …and I found your notebook."

When she realized what he was talking about, she lowered her hands from his, letting him withdraw. She figured out fairly easily what he must have seen, but it gave her an idea what she needed to do about it. Finally, she gestured for him to wait a moment and went to retrieve the book in question. "Try starting from the back this time, big guy." She tossed it over to him.

He caught it. He still felt wrong just touching it—not just because of what he had read on that first page, but because this was a summation of her private thoughts and broken memories. Still, she was telling him to do so and he had never failed to follow an order from his beloved commander. So he turned to read it. When he opened it, he saw that same disconcerting prologue, so anxiously penned in the fear that the damage would increase. But when he turned to the end, the one section he hadn't touched the night before, he saw she had jumped back to the page before last a few nights ago (_that night_, actually) and left another anxious note there. And this one…

_Jeff Moreau, Kaidan Alenko, Ashley Williams, Urdnot Wrex, Liara T'Soni, Miranda Lawson, Jacob Taylor, Mordin Solus, Jack, Samara, Thane Krios, Kasumi Goto, Zaeed Massani, Urdnot Grunt, Legion, EDI, James Vega, Tali'Zorah._

_Don't lose them again._

He didn't bother attempting to guess the reasons behind how she had so anxiously scrawled all their names. But they were still the only real family she had ever known and it made sense she would worry about losing them even now. He had spent enough time as a detective to see the hope and care in each name even as the entire page was coated in worry. That went a little ways towards an explanation, but… He finally drew himself to turn to the final page, a mirror of the first page that affected him all too much.

_He was always there. He was with you the whole time. He stood by you through all of it and he didn't let you down. If nothing else, remember that. You can lose your memories, but you can't lose how you feel. He loves you. You love him. He loves you. You love him._

_I am in love with Garrus Vakarian__, and I will __not__ lose him again._

Now he understood. Well, mostly. Though just from that mostly, he was too stunned to move. She wasn't blaming him for what happened. She still loved him. If what she'd written was true all along, then she had the whole time and hadn't realized it at first. Maybe that was part of why she recognized him at the transit station after all. And he had still tried to keep his distance, so afraid of hurting her. But she was raised on hurt. What she needed was love. _He loves you. You love him._ She _knew_, even before he had the chance to explain, that nothing had changed, that everything he'd done had been for her, to protect her, even if she didn't understand why quite yet. She was always intuitive that way. It was part of why they had worked together so well in the old days. And now…_now_… But why the message?

Echo finally came to remove the book from his hands and set it carefully aside. "I was worried it might be temporary. That I'd wake up the next morning and it'd all be gone again. Or it might get worse after all. I had to be sure I could still know even if I didn't remember…"

Still intuitive. Answering the question he didn't even ask out loud. However, that answer drew all his guilt back in full force. She wouldn't have had a reason to fear a repeated loss or worse if he had been there to guide her through the recovery. If nothing else, she wouldn't have been alone through it all. She'd spent more than enough of her life alone. "Echo…I'm so sorry, I never should have left—"

"No," Echo shook her head, no longer able to fight the tears that plagued her now, "_I'm_ sorry. I treasured every second with you like we were the only thing worth holding onto in that war and then as soon as it was over…" She did try to fight the tears just so she could say this properly, but they refused to withdraw. "I was willing to die to save you, to save our family and our worlds, and instead of following the one order you ever gave me, I…"

"Echo, no," Garrus quickly took her face in his hands, drawing her to meet his eyes and reaching a lone talon to wipe her tears away, "You had no way of knowing what was going to happen. I would've done the same thing."

"It doesn't matter! You gave me so much, you all did, and I just _forgot_ about you—!"

"Yeah, and then I left you without even trying to help you remember!" That accomplished his goal of silencing her sorrow but, at the same time, managed to bring back his. "There wasn't a day that went by I didn't wish I had stayed with you. But every time I started wishing I could go back, I realized I'd do the same thing. Because if never seeing you again was the cost to give you so much as a chance at a real future or just one hour of peace after the life you've had, I would have paid it. I would do _anything_." Echo almost let her tears keep falling now, since it was clear to both of them it would be from seeing him, her one source of strength at the end, losing his own. "But _three years_…so long…it was so hard without you. I was so alone and I missed you so badly. When I heard you were coming, I had to see you again. I never imagined it would go this far. I never meant to…"

She had spent far too long in loneliness and dread. She refused to let him dwell there. She quickly drew him to meet her eyes, to ignore the shine of tears inside them and see the faith and thankfulness within. "No, it's OK. You did the right thing. Every time I needed you, _you did the right thing_."

Hearing her say that did brighten his spirit briefly, hearing what he meant to her and how much she appreciated all he'd tried to do. But he knew that all he'd really done was try. He could think of how he'd been there for her in the dark times and how he'd stood by her and shown his love, but none of it could make up for how being there hadn't been enough to heal her broken pieces or how he had left when she needed him most because he couldn't see what to do unless she was there to show him. She'd always been there for him and that had been enough, but what he'd done for her could never repay. He could live with not having done enough to satisfy her, if only because he could redeem that by doing more, but to think that he had failed her or let her down…that thought broke the one part of him that had stayed whole these long, hard three years. "That's not true, I should've—"

"_Garrus_…" Echo stopped him, taking his hand in hers and pressing her other against his scars, "…I told you I would always love you. That's still true. Even if I didn't remember you, I still loved you. All this time, there's been something missing from my life. That something was you. I can't live without you. And I understand what you were trying to do, but I've had my time away from it all…and I'm willing to take the good with the bad if it means you'll never leave me again."

Words weren't enough to fix this. But hearing her say _that_, with the way she looked at him now, could not be denied. She didn't care what he had or hadn't done. She still needed him. And she was willing to do whatever it took to prove that and get back what they lost. Just like he was. Because he needed her more than he needed oxygen or water and losing her now would destroy him. Well, she was reciprocating that sentiment. She couldn't lose him either. They couldn't be separated. _They couldn't_. He finally let himself breathe, shaking his head. "No. Never again." And he drew her into his arms. Wishing there would never come a moment he would have to let go.

She smiled, her eyes glistening with the few tears remaining to her, the ones she wouldn't let fall, and let him hold her close.

"I love you, Echo Shepard."

To hear his voice say those words was all she'd ever wanted. This was the ending she had fought so long and hard for. So she had nothing to fear as she set aside her fighting spirit and gave everything within her to the man who held her heart. "I love you, Garrus Vakarian."


	22. Resolution

Chapter 22: Resolution

They spent the better part of that day wrapped up in each other on the couch, though this time any passionate kisses were spent on their attempts to console each other. Echo was through crying, yet she still had to fight the tears that came to her throughout the whole embrace. Garrus was still making some effort to comfort her even as he continued to apologize and regret. Echo was the one who finally made it clear that the worst was behind them, regrets were meaningless, and even though he had nothing to apologize for, she forgave him for it all. So Garrus was the one who stopped fretting long enough to kiss her properly.

For a moment, she simply reveled in the feeling of his affections, letting her own concerns take over. "I wanted to tell you so badly. Knowing what we went through the first time, how you were there for me…it was only fair. But I wanted to understand and…I don't know. I guess after everything you did to stay away, hearing I remembered again might have been—"

"—too much?"

She sighed, realizing there was no better way to put it, and nodded.

He answered this by drawing her to meet his eyes again, so she could see the relief and sincerity behind them. "Echo, nothing could have been worse than what happened in that hospital. And nothing could've made me happier than what we have now."

She smiled brightly at the second part of this statement, but the first broke something inside her. Suddenly, that day she had so desperately attempted to banish from her mind came rushing back just as her lost memories had, even more painful now that she knew what had truly happened. Before, it was unsettling. Now, it was _painful_. Looking in his eyes this way threatened to bring back the tears she had thought she was finally rid of. "…I saw you."

He nodded. "The squad helped get you off the station and to a med center. I was there the whole time, waiting to see you, but—"

"No, _I saw you_."

Now he saw the problem. "No, wait, Echo, that's not—"

Too late. The memory struck her like no bullet ever had, aching not just because of the space he left behind but because of what happened before he did. "You were right there with me and I _saw_ you and it wasn't enough. Some part of me was screaming for you, but I couldn't hear it. I didn't know…I should've—"

"Echo, listen to me," he quickly took her hands in his, "It's not your fault. We're together now."

"I know. It's not…" She took a breath to calm herself and find the words she needed to say. "It's not that I hurt you. It's that I lost you. Even before you walked out, I _lost you_. And it doesn't matter if that's what really drove you away, all that matters is that you were gone. I finally had someone who mattered to me, who cared about me, and who wouldn't let me down. …and I still lost you."

Slowly, he saw her true meaning. As she had told him when she was hesitating to confess her feelings on those cliffs, everything she cared about in life was all too easily taken away from her. And when she found someone who wouldn't leave her, life found a new way to come between them.

She scoffed to herself at what she suddenly realized. "It's stupidly ironic. The night it all came back to me? I woke up that morning utterly terrified that the memory damage would loop back on itself somehow and there'd come a day I wouldn't recognize you. Now it turns out it was because that already happened. I couldn't even have you without everything falling apart."

"And we're going to put it back together again. Understand?" When she didn't answer, he turned to remove his gloves and reached up to place his hands on her face. Where anyone else would be threatened by his bared talons, she was soothed, sighing calmly as she leaned into his grasp. "Shepard and Vakarian. Nothing we can't do together. Remember?"

_Remember._ The one word that had most pained her the past three years was now a flood of every emotion but. Thoughts of what they'd had together coupled with what they had now and the feeling of his talons so tenderly pressed against her… She smiled. "I remember _everything_." She had longed to say that for so long. But now it really meant something. Something vivid and intense. Pressing her hands against his, she leaned into him, taking pride and comfort in equal measure from the protective, desirous trills of his sub-vocals humming so close to her ear. Garrus Vakarian. Her Garrus. The love of her life. She really didn't have anything to fear now. Not with him beside her. "Guess Liara was right, then. We—" She froze as she suddenly remembered one other thing. "Liara. Tali! The team—we have to tell the crew!"

Garrus flinched as he caught on. "Oh! OH! You're right! Uh…" He drew back to start considering how to approach this. "What do we do, e-mail them?"

"No! No, just…" She took a second to think it over. "…just get on the group chat and set up a time for a video call."

He nodded, turning to his omni-tool to do so. "Right. Right. I can do that."

She watched as he sent out the request and waited for a response, both tense and excited at the prospect of seeing her crew again in light of who they truly were to her. Then she simply watched him. Even with all her memories intact, she couldn't describe what it was about this one specific turian that she found physically attractive, but she did. She suspected now that if she did someday relapse (and since it was a matter of brain damage, this could be entirely possible…), she would still love him. Without needing to read that note she left for herself, she would know how she felt. But still… "And Garrus?" Once he was facing her again, she drew closer, taking his hand. "No matter what happens…don't let me go."

He understood. He always understood her. It was part of why they had become so inseparable even before they fell so hard for each other. But this was one thing she didn't have to ask. He wasn't the type to make the same mistake twice. "No." So he laid his head on hers and gave her the same words of comfort she had once given him: "…you'll never be alone."

The memory of that day in London was heart-wrenching, but using it this way made her brighten with hope. And made her cling to her love even more. "…never."

They stayed that way until the chat reached a solution. The time that worked best for everyone involved wasn't for another two days. Echo resolved to spend those two days establishing a new "normal" for her and Garrus since she had less than no intentions to stop living with him. The only problem with that plan was how Garrus seemed less inclined to while away the hours with amorous embraces and wistful stories and such than he was to silently beat himself up for all that had happened. He apparently spent some time researching human customs for "making amends," because there were three separate offers of levo chocolate treats and an actual stuffed bear (and since it wasn't a supply drop day, she had no idea where he could've found those things on Palaven and wasn't sure she wanted to know) before she finally put her foot down that _she already forgave him and made it clear he hadn't done anything wrong to begin with so enough already! _She followed that up by all but pinning him to the couch and kissing him until he stopped resisting her and returned it, which she took as agreement to let the matter be. Or, failing that, evidence that she had found a tactic to patch the cracks in his emotional armor until she found a proper treatment.

When the day finally came that the squad was due to call, Echo spent the morning applying her favored technique to keep her beloved turian from worrying and to soothe her own nerves, delighting in every hum of pleasure to escape the voice that make her heart flutter with enticement. She peppered him with whispered declarations of how much she adored him, even though she was certain he had to _know_ by now, and shivered with elation every time he did the same for her. He still seemed more withdrawn than his typical self, but he was smiling and openly displaying his affection for her in a way that made it impossible for her to worry. She was hesitant to stop, but when his omni-tool first started beeping that the calls were beginning to come in, she stepped back and let him answer.

_"Still going at it, huh?" Joker remarked as soon as he saw the two of them so close together, "This is what I get for leaving you two alone."_

"I think we can keep it PG long enough for a video call, Moreau," Echo snarked.

Almost immediately, a request arrived from Samara to join the call. _"Echo, Garrus. It's good to see you both again. Is there a reason we all needed to call at the same time?"_

"Well—" Garrus started. Before he could cobble together a suitable answer, Wrex, Tali, and Liara were all attempting to connect. "…this is gonna take a while."

Echo then thought of something. "Just keep conferencing in them in and invite me once they're all connected—I've got an idea." She didn't give him a chance to question this before she ran off down the hall. She came back about two minutes later just as Jack and Zaeed were calling. "That everyone?"

"Looks like," Garrus answered, sending the signal to her.

Once everyone was patched in, Echo transferred the call from her omni-tool to the projector, displaying all 14 lines in a grid on the wall.

"Wow," Garrus commented as he hung up his end, "that's _way_ better."

"Yeah, I'm good," Echo agreed smugly.

_Liara seemed to realize what Echo had done. "Ah, yes. I've had to split this signal across all the monitors in my 'lair'—as Jeff so quaintly puts it. Simplifies things, doesn't it?"_

_"Wait, you're splitting the signal?" Jack cut in, "Why can't _we _do that?! I'm stuck with my private terminal at the academy and I feel like running a call this big is gonna make the screen explode any second!"_

_"It don't think it works like that," Wrex commented, "Which is too bad." Then he turned his attention to Echo and Garrus. "Speaking of which, why are we all talking on here?"_

_"If you're about to say there's another war breaking out and you need help, I'm hanging up right now," Tali commented._

Echo smirked. "No, but I'm sure you'd be able to handle it…Admiral vas Normandy."

_Tali laughed. "Yes, well, Chatika and I have had enough excitement for…for one…" Then she realized what Echo had just said._

Tali hadn't mentioned she was an admiral. And she definitely had never said what was the ship name she was still going by even while all the other would-be Pilgrims among the quarians were now adopting "vas Rannoch" as their title. There were only two ways Echo would know about Tali's title: if Garrus had come clean…or…

As they all slowly realized what was happening, Echo smiled. She remembered all of them like family. She felt like she was home.

_Tali stared at her, unable to believe it, bursting with hope and elation at the thought of it. "…_Shepard_?"_

Echo laughed, nodding. "Yeah. It's me. I'm back."

All 14 lines erupted with shock and astonishment and excitement and concern and a dozen other reactions that were impossible to discern past the noise of the rest. Echo stepped back, deciding it was probably wise to let them air out the initial reactions before she bothered to respond.

_"How?!" Miranda asked once it quieted down, "We were under the impression the damage had settled into permanence."_

"It might have, but…well, let's just say it's a bit hard to forget _this_ crew forever."

_"I…" Ashley said, "…I don't believe this. I—" She quickly started thinking up a way to prove this properly. "What'd I say to you the last time you saw me in the hospital?"_

Echo thought that over for a second. "Before or after you quoted Henley at me?"

_Proof. Ashley all but laughed as she realized this was real. They had their commander back._

_"HA!" Grunt said, "I knew nothing could defeat you, Shepard!"_

"Well, it was a long, hard fight," Echo shrugged with a smirk, "but I missed my tank baby."

_Grunt responded with his signature laugh._

Echo almost responded in kind. "Especially that part."

There was about five minutes of verification and questioning before they had all confirmed what she told Garrus—she was fully recovered but everything after Harbinger's strike in London was lost for good. Jack did snap at Garrus about how they'd stayed back for three years for seemingly no reason, only for Echo to gleefully comment that she hadn't realized Jack cared so much, making the psychotic biotic withdraw to mutter something about some things she _hadn't_ missed. They all were a bit distraught at the way things had gone, but they were happy enough with the way things had now turned out that they were willing to put those feelings aside long enough to appreciate Echo's recovery. They were family, after all.

_"Uh…" Joker spoke up, "…speaking of happy reunions…" Ignoring the questioning glances that comment received, he reached over to pick up a small device and activate it. When he set it down beside him, it lit up with a holographic projection like a VI. Except…this one…looked familiar…_

_"Hello, Shepard."_

Echo froze at the sound of that voice. "…EDI?"

The eruption of shocked and delighted reactions that came forth now was a sharp contest to the one in response to Echo's news. Like Echo's recovery, this was good news they had all but lost hope for until recently. It clearly wasn't the same as it was before, but it was enough.

_"Still working on the new body, but yeah, she's back up and running," Joker explained, "And she's following your lead, Commander. Selective amnesia and all."_

_"The last time I was able to back up my databanks to a reliable place," EDI explained, "was the night after Sanctuary. Jeff has had to explain to me the events that have taken place since."_

Echo smiled. "I think we can help with that."

None of them had really had a chance to reminisce properly since the war ended. Though EDI didn't have a body with which to properly convey how she felt to see them all again (then again, she didn't have memories of not seeing them, but still), it was as if their group was the most whole it had been since the party on the Citadel. They spent almost 20 minutes talking and laughing and simply being a family before Kasumi finally said she needed to head out and the others realized they were needed elsewhere. One by one, they promised to contact the group more later and began to hang up.

But as they all started to disconnect, Echo quickly turned to one line in particular. "Uh, Joker, EDI, do you mind if I talk to you two a bit more? …alone?"

The two exchanged looks (or as close to that as they could get, what with EDI's current disembodied form) before agreeing, leaving their line open as the rest of the team said their farewells.

Once Joker and EDI were the only ones still on the call, though, Garrus turned to go.

Echo quickly moved to stop him. "I didn't mean you, too, Garrus. You can still—"

"No, you go ahead," Garrus shook his head, "There's, uh…something I have to take care of." Before she could argue again, he ducked out of the house.

Echo sighed almost as if in defeat before giving her focus solely to the call.

_"Something to say, Shepard?" Joker asked._

_"You seem distressed," EDI added._

Echo simply looked at the device currently housing the recovered code of the AI. Yet another thing the Reapers had taken from them. But she was smart enough to put the pieces together. She knew there was more to it. One reason Garrus had thought it best to keep those memories gone. "I just…I'm so sorry. To both of you. I'm still not clear on what all happened up there, but…whatever I did—"

_"Shepard," EDI quickly interrupted, "I am again fully functioning. I believe the human term in this instance is 'no harm, no foul.'"_

"Oh, there was plenty of harm."

_"_Echo_. You did what we all agreed was necessary. We know you. Even if you had been fully aware of the consequences, there must have been no better options. The geth and I are restored now, and the Reapers remain permanently deactivated. _No harm, no foul_."_

Echo smiled, though she was still clearly guilt-ridden over it all.

_"Hey," Joker stepped back in, "she's right. It was either this or we all died. And I'm sure you would've known that Tali and the other quarians would be able to fix it all in time. And they did! So the human term in _this_ instance would be 'all's well that ends well.'"_

Echo smiled honestly now. Count on Joker for that.

_"It is true," EDI continued, "Moreover, since Jeff and I are now considered war heroes for having served on the _Normandy_, we are being allowed to design my new body ourselves."_

Echo scoffed. "Oh, that's gonna end well."

_"Hey!" Joker retorted, "I can restrain myself! And she knows me well enough to bite back if I can't."_

Echo smirked, turning her attention to EDI. "Be sure to call me for reinforcements if he gets too big a handful."

_"I will keep this offer in mind, Shepard," EDI answered, her voice indicating she would be smirking as well if she currently had a body with which to do so._

Echo nodded. "What are friends for?"

_"Uh," Joker quickly jumped back in, "about that. Look…don't be too hard on Garrus. He was just trying to do what he thought was best for you."_

"Don't worry about it, Joker, we've already been through it." Judging by how she'd reacted to what she _did _remember, it was clear he had done the right thing. And it was hard to be upset with him once she remembered what they'd been through, once she had proof of how he felt about her, once she saw he wouldn't do anything that might risk losing her unless he thought it was the only way. Plus, it was hard to be upset with him specifically when the rest of the crew had just gone along with it. "I get it. And I appreciate what you all were trying to do. Besides, from what I pegged, you've already been hard enough on him for the both of us."

_Joker shied back at that comment. "…yeah, well…I was a bit upset at the time." He said this with a tentative glance at the device currently housing EDI's repaired code._

Echo caught on well enough. "Yeah, I get that. …you two take care of each other, alright? If I'm gonna have a happy ending, you two more than deserve the same."

_Joker smiled. "Thanks, Commander. You, too."_

_"We will remain in contact, Shepard," EDI added._

"Looking forward to it," Echo nodded, "…take care." With that, she hung up. She still regretted what happened, but it was nice to know they had recovered and didn't hold it against her. It was her crew that was why she fought so hard to win that war, and it was only worth it if her crew was happy in the end. Clearly, they were now.

Especially Garrus.

Simply the thought of the turian made her heart sing with delight. She was sitting in the living room filled to the brim with happy memories when he returned to the house. She didn't even have the chance to question where he'd gone before he held out a flower. The same Palaven bloom he'd given the night of their "first date."

Echo scoffed even as she took the flower. "I think I've got enough of these—"

"This one is real," Garrus told her, "I made sure of it."

At this news, she handled the flower more carefully, looking it over. The fabrications were remarkably identical. But this one was special. She smiled as she breathed in the familiar scent. Then she realized why he must have gotten it for her. "…this is another apology gift, isn't it?" He noticeably neglected to answer. She sighed, giving him a decisive look. "Garrus, I already forgave you—"

"Don't," he shook his head, not willing to meet her eyes, "I don't deserve it. I took so much away from you—"

"You had no way of knowing what memories would come back or even if I _could_ recover. You did what you thought was right to protect someone you love. I can't be certain I wouldn't have done the same for you."

That particular comment pushed aside his guilt with confusion long enough for him to think it over. If their roles had been reversed, if he had lost the memories of Omega and the obligations to his love to carry her through the dark times, and she had thought being around him would make it all come painfully rushing back, would she have walked away? Sacrificed the only person she'd ever truly loved if she thought there was even the slightest chance he could find some peace without her? He knew that chance wasn't true, that all his best memories were with her even if the worst ones followed suit, and she had lost more than enough in her life without losing what they had. But she was a hero. She would've done it for him.

Echo seemed to follow his thoughts. She saw the moment he realized she was right. The moment he resolved that the past was in the past and that his place now was to be there for her. She was about to offer an assuring smile and take his hand. But then she noticed she could feel cool metal between her fingers. She looked down at the flower in her hand, inspecting it closer.

There was a gold ring resting over the leaves of the stem, a star-shaped sapphire embedded in it.

Echo pried the ring from the flower in shock. "Garrus, did you—"

He shied away at first, but he knew what this meant. He was committed now. Time to admit it. "I wanted to ask you during the war. I was going to the night before we hit Cerberus, but…it just didn't seem like the right time."

She was genuinely shocked for the first time in…well, ever. Then his meaning sunk in. "Wait, you…you've been holding onto this for _three years_?"

He didn't want to dive into how he knew he'd never love anyone else like he'd love her, how this was the one thing he had as evidence of what they'd had and how they had hope of becoming more when the war was over, how much he'd regretted not asking while he had the chance even if it didn't matter afterwards. Instead, his answer came in the simple form of a sheepish nod.

If there remained some small part of her that resented his actions for those three years, it was quelled now. Here was the proof that he was only ever thinking of her. He was seriously asking her to _marry him_. She had never dreamed anyone would care about her enough to ask this, let alone that she would want to be tied to someone this way. And he had gone to all the trouble of getting familiar with human tradition for the proposal in the middle of a war because he had that much faith in their victory and their love. And now… "This is…"

He didn't need to hear the words she couldn't find. Still, his worries were so great he had almost hesitated and missed his chance yet again. Even with his resolution to redeem his mistakes from their original romance, this was a point of no return. "I just…couldn't imagine a life without you. Trying to live without you later was the most painful thing I've ever gone through—and you know I've gone through a lot. But I also knew it was a lot to ask of you. After all, from what I read, you have to accept, and I know—"

"I accept."

Nothing could compare to the shock and jubilation that coursed through him at those words. "…you do?"

She smiled almost tearfully as she nodded with absolute certainty. He was right that this was a lot to ask of her. But that she had never known anything in her life as surely as she knew that she never wanted to spend another day without him. "I do." So she held out the flower and the ring.

Catching her meaning, he smiled and slid the flower into position over her left ear, where she had been placing the fabricated one all those times before she recovered. Then he slid the ring into position on her left hand. As he did so, his eyes found hers. There was so much he wanted to say and do in this moment, but there was something about seeing her this way that froze him in place.

So she closed the distance for him, kissing him in a way that couldn't be denied. She was still his, after all, just as he was always hers. She was still the Echo that he met at the transit station, the one that kissed him on the cliffs and in a field of simulated fireflies. But she was also the Shepard that fell for him despite annihilation surrounding them, even though that Shepard truly did die at the Catalyst. She was an in-between.

She was _herself_.

With this revelation, he kept her as close as he could. He had changed, too, but how he felt about her never could. He _needed_ her in a way no one could ever understand. Even as she pulled away from the initial kiss, he held her close, kissing her face as she was so fond of doing to his scars, his heart following the beat of hers as he had once followed her in battle.

Echo smiled as she clung to him, reveling in his every touch. "What you asked me that night? My favorite memory?" As he drew back to watch her, awaiting the answer, she nuzzled softly against him, her silver blue eyes alight with belonging. "Every single second I've spent with you."

They stayed in each other's arms for so long that time could not measure it, as they had resolved to stay for the rest of their lives. Whatever happened now, they would face it together. Time and memory had not separated them, at least not forever, and nothing that followed would be able to change what they knew. They were meant to be together. They had the kind of love that nothing could come between.

The kind of love that echoed through eternity.

**THE END**

Yay, it's done! I hope you all enjoyed it. Thank you for reading!


End file.
